Posted 12/28/2024 5:41 PM (GMT -5)
Really dunno what to do, guys. My infections are so bad, pharmaceuticals are tempting, but I won’t be able to go for a few months.
But then I also worry about them ruining my gut and actually giving me histamine/MCAS problems long-term.
It’s shocking how I went from reacting to sausages, canned meats, bananas, almost every food - to just a couple days after artemesia, back to a burrito.
Corn tortilla chips. I’m sure I could eat anything. Heart rate in the 60s and 70s after. It’s the strangest thing.
I think Babesia is finally coming out, though, because I sometimes have the faintest tinge of air hunger.
I fear my life is heading down a dark path with my infections. I think of self-harm every day. I know places where fentanyl is easy to procure.
Disulfiram gave me a lot of health for many years, but I think Bart and Babs are finally saying enough is enough, and I think the disulfiram is partially the cause for my cystic acne worsening since 2022… and I’m tired of having no libido and numb genitals.
It was also a really bad year in my personal life. Everyone that genuinely cared about me has either passed away or left my life.
I don’t expect anyone to say or do anything in regards to my mental health. I will just do my best to keep going and wait to be at peace with my grandparents after a natural death.