Trying to get an idea..

Post Edited (KeepHope) : 3/8/2009 1:50:44 AM (GMT-7)

Working part time (30 - 35 hrs) is ok in the meanwhile; but i had been off for two years, because I could hardly move ....;

I will check out if I am able to do more this year. dorit

Oh man...ttlittle star, that is so sad. You will make it.

Sorry razzle and dorit. Do you both have a husband or support even?

I had to stop my job 4 years ago. I was a developer. I couldn't get anything right. And then my mind started playing weird tricks on me.
With all of the weird dreams I thought that I was working but was not. I could have sworn that I was doing things. Then I could not
remember people that worked for me. I couldn't remember my own zip codes or phone numbers.
And it was a very stressful job so I dumped everything and down sized my home etc. I faked it alot about knowing things and people.
The fog was a weird place to be. Yet in some ways it was comforting to me.
I was throwing my bills in the trash up till now...lol.
So I have been catching up and paying tons of bills today. lol. All of my plates are exp. and my car was not even
insured. Cannot believe what I got away with. I had no one helping me. And no family here in Fl. And I was taking
care of two kids. Yikes.
More like they were taking care of me. I am doing my photography now and had some shows in the last year.
I am going to pick a new job. And try to do something easy and artistic. If I could sell some of these homes that
I am stuck with I would be really happy..but whatever...one day at a time.

I have for the most part made peace with the fact I will not be returning to teaching. The competition is so stiff out there that the interview is everything. I cannot speak in an interview. Went to one district's open house just to practice, had a list of the questions we would be asked, and couldn't answer a single one even with preparation and practice. I videotape and photograph weddings, but now freeze trying to actually sell myself. Never used to be like this. I feel like I am not me anymore and I trying to figure out what to do with the new me. Don't really care for the new me so much. But it is all I got.

Martha`s Vineyard,

I have a wonderful husband who is very patient and supportive; I didn`t even think all this could be lyme till last year in spring.
When I read through threads like this one, I do have tears in my eyes.

I am still putting all the pieces of the puzzle together for what I experienced (and still do) with Lyme;

I personally think that Lyme has changed parts of my self and it was not easy to accept because I experienced it like an involuntary thing, something I was "forced" to let happen and go. It was a far reaching intervention in my personality.

I wish we all will be well again quickly!!! dorit

I am so sorry to hear all that, KeepHope!

to be honest, I think I only made it back to working b/c i was in the lucky position to decide how much and when to work;
I did some paperwork within our small network of freelancers and they did not care when I did my stuff, so sometimes I didnt do anything for a few days (when I felt to ill/ tired), then maybe work some nights b/c I could not sleep anyway, and so one; I organized it the way that I could do it from home in the beginning at nearly every time I felt to be able to; I started with things with a wider time frame so there was no presure to have it done within a day or two.

But I cannot imagine (not in my wildest dreams) who I would have been able to go to a even part time job where I would have to function for a set amout of hours at ..o`clock,.. straight every day..... no chance, really! I had no energy left over to press myself in such a timeframe; all this had to develop, it did, in the end. And I had a husband who worked and helped me;

If I had to function or loose everything, I would have lost everything.

Post Edited (dorit) : 2/25/2009 6:07:25 AM (GMT-7)

I sold new construction real estate for 15 years and was very successful even in difficult economic times. When I was diagnosed in 1995 with Fibro and CFS I had to change careers and go part time. I went to a very part time job in someones home office - 3 hours per day was all I could handle. I was sick a lot and put on antibiotics a lot - and I kept telling my doctor that I would feel better for a while after a course of antibiotics.

Somehow I managed to teach myself Microsoft computer applications and became certified to teach adults. The plan was to work 6 hours 3 days a week. It lasted for several years only because I was "self-employed" and could turn a job down. Teaching is exhausting so I again went to working on a computer in an office - very part time.

I started to stutter, became confused, upset, and sick feeling 24/7. A LLMD put me on IV and I ended up hanging my IV bag on the office wall and when my boss told me she noticed I was having trouble remembering things, I quit. That was 2003. I applied for disability and was granted it finally in late 2005. Meanwhile my husband carried us both financially and paid enormous amounts of money for health care.
I was now a shell of myself.

Today I am about 70% better but I lost 14 years and am beginning to accept that I will never be the same again but that I can reinvent myself. It is sad but I remind myself that there are others with illness and life circumstances who are so much worse off.

I know that all of us on this forum have lost so much and for those who are going this disease alone - I just cannot imagine. I have had my husband but it has changed "us" so much - as I guess any chronic illness does. He has had two heart attacks - in 2002 and 2005.

My husband was in the building business and finally lost his job in January. Somehow we have been watched over because we do have savings that will carry us through. The good thing that has come from it is that he is more relaxed now and more rested so maybe it was a good thing in the end.

This whole thing makes me very sad.
bcaring

work part-time 30-35 hrs a week...i am on my feel all day long running around like a chicken with its head choped off. I have to sell merchandise and do special orders for home deopt. when i first got lyme my brain fog was bad and it was very difficult to remember anything and i would trip over my words speaking to customers, thsi has gotten better but i am always so tired and on my days off i dont want to do anything. I used to have so much energy now i am a hermit....