This is getting really bad.

Youguys...my emotions are almost unbearable. One minute I am ready to scream at anyone who even LOOKS like they're about to speak to me, and I am sobbing in the next. I'm pushing my mom away and I feel like I can't even control it. I'm sobbing as I sit here posting this...she just upstairs to go to sleep because I wanted to be alone...and she just wanted to sit down here with me and watch the news.

I feel like such a mess...everything is so bad...I've never felt this way before. My muscles are weak; I'm go from raging ***** to crying baby; that whole 'I need to tell my body to walk because it just doesn't do it on its own' is much worse...and the proprioceptive stuff...and the fog...the FOG...is EXCRUTIATING. My brain itself literally feels exhausted even though my body doesn't.

The Biaxin is keeping me up until all hours of the night and I get zero recouperative sleep.

I am SUCH a mess and I don't know what to do...everytime I can't get myself off the couch to get on here I wish I had peoples' phone numbers so I could vent via text!

I just left her a note in the kitchen by the coffee pot. I feel so bad. And I feel like I can't really control it.

jen, this part really sucks bad.. i was there for a couple of weeks feeling worthless. and the biaxin is keeping me up also.. i hate it!! i might not be as bad as you, but i have forced myself to think and walk.. i just do it.. i don't even care how it makes me feel anymore, it was sad at first because i wasn't use to feeling so crappy all day. but now i'm just pushing through it.. do your best, I take alot of DEEP BREATHES.. this helps me. supplies oxygen to the brain.. take a few deep breathes and now that everything is going to work out sooner than later.. time will come for you, its just a matter of time.. life is so full of ups and downs, this is downtime, but when downtime is over, you will be rewarded with amazing results and the joy of life..

Jen, i pray this issue passes for you soon. as i to have been there. i love my dog more then i can say and i find myself mad at him for just walking to close to me, this is not me, its the Lyme. i have had to make notes to my self this too will pass and i cant get mad at my baby. he to has Lyme, so i cry with him.

i have more then once sat with him thinking do you hurt as much as i do. i wish he could take to me. and i wish i was as strong as he is.

your in my prayers.

¤°´¯BIG.¤*¨*¤(¯`´¯)¤*¨*¤.Hugs¯`°¤.

Heya Jen,
I really am sorry to hear how you're feeling. Geeez dog wizz on a tree them microscopic fun suckers can't cut us a break in any area can they? Greedy little meanies. But i really do hear you, I have a wonderful mom too but even with that i've been where you are, ah heck, i still go back for visitations believe me. I can't even be on treatment so i ain't even herxing and i get pretty bad off, today i had Art. the size of about a new born baby's pinki nail aaand the pain, mental frustrationS were all worse. But if it's middle of the night venting/talking/anything, i'm your man...girl, you know, just feel free to text or call me anytime, i'll give you my number over facebook, or it's on my page if you beat me to it. I'm up allll dagum night and most of the day too so please feel free to text or call me anytime, i don't know about you but texting's easier on the brain...but i'm kinda slow.. just a warning in advance sorry i know my friends have flyin fingers, for me it's either the whole body on a stunt or it's slow lol. But if you can, try to tell your family how you're feeling, they can try to understand, at least they'll know your frustration with it all and that they can't really 'get it' unless they 'got it', maybe you could just say exactly what you said on here to your mom or maybe she could read it on here just to get an idea...?..Maybe you wouldn't have to work the brain as much...? Hang in there Jen, you've been hangin for so long it proves you are one strong cookie and you'll beat alll this crapola, :).

Ohhh Mamma mia i definitely remember singing, even though i was giddier beyond the usual b/c they were letting me out. Yeah about the whole wayy too long stay, i sang that song down the halls...purposefully louder everytime i passed the nurse station w/the docs haha ''i'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired i know right now ya dont care'' ok jk kinda cause i am a weee bit crazy but i think they caught that drift the first hour i was there.. woops haa. Yeah the day they were lettin me out, oh i think i got a picture, no i knoww i got a picture just don't know where it is but i had i think two pairs of sunglasses on, a hat and a scarf wrapped around my head so there was NO chance the lights were gunna cause a seizure. That would be the farthest thing from cool and i'd have to see their Oompa Loompa selves even longer. Sooo by the time they let me out i was doin wheelies in the wheel chair while singin "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Yup i'm purdy sure they didn't like that by the looks they were given me, well one of the nurses looked somewhat amused haha, they brought me on themselves what can i say! I think they were ready for the freaky-spacie-problems they couldn't figure out-girl to exit the building, lol.
Keep up the really hard but amazing work ya'll, i think most would be certifiable by now, but ya'll have some backbones of steel. You're in my prayers. Catch ya on the flip side..
Lymie Love,
Spacie Grrracie

James,

I LOVE that song. It's perfect! Thanks for posting that.

Jen,

I'm glad I could help. You remind me of my own kids.

Yeah, we said goodnight but I'm still awake! Having hot flashes here. It never ends.

I love reading spacie gracies posts. She has a good spirit and makes me laugh. It's nice to see that in a younger person.

Aww! Hang in their Jen!

And that was an awesome song James! And Spacie- Gracie- you had me laughing out loud with that story! Wish I could have seen the looks on the doctor's faces in person!

Jen- is this a herx? Because if Biaxin is keeping you up all night on a regular basis, you should bring it up with your doc. Sleep is really important! Not getting enough sleep will just add to all the emotional stuff you've got going on.