How does everyone deal with everyone around them doing normal things?

aww Jen, i wish there was a way we could enjoy life as we once did. i so understand where your coming from. i am at my most peaceful when at home alone. i cant handle the noise others make. it drives me crazy. yet no one here understands it.

in the last 2 yrs i have went from the social butterfly to a hermit. and this also drives me crazy. like you i so want to be able to go and do. but i cant. 1 i know my knee wont hold up and 2 i know my eyes will cause me to have a migraine.

whats the fun in that? knowing full well if i go i am going to be in so much pain and then in bad for a few days to make up for it.

Lyme is the worst of the worst of you ask me. it takes so much from us, and then you add in the bull we go thro from doctors and wow. its no wonder we are depressed so much of the time.

only bright spot in all this, i feel is the getting to know ya'll here. i know i am not alone. and all i have to do to be with others who understand. is click on the PC and ya'll are there. :)

¤°´¯BIG.¤*¨*¤(¯`´¯)¤*¨*¤.Hugs¯`°¤.

Jen I totally know what you are talking about. It was hard to watch my kids not be able to go to school or even to the pool.
I do have some things that made me feel better...some tricks of the trade if you will.
Make your bedroom a place that you love.
I had mine painted a very pretty teal. I got the best pilllows and so on.
Then a soft light for by your bed. My lighting had to be very soft. This can be done with lower watt bulbs too.
I got a singing canary...Sanatra...lol...and whenever he sees me...he burst out in song for me.
Get orchids from hoe depot..and put them all over the place. Flowers make me happy. And cut flowers die to fast.
Get a animal of some sort for company. We now have a rabbit...hop hop, that is potty trained and begs when we open the frig for carrrots.
Get some one to go to target to get you a scrap book and the fun stuff that they sell to make them cool.
Make scrap books of your life up till now. I had so much stuff that I had not put together.
And rest assured that this bad time will pass. And know that being home with a loving family is the most important thing anyways.
I use to love to cook....chop up things....make sauces.....try difficult stuff in my favorite Italian books.
Or learn how to make a cake or bread from scratch. The smell of food cooking and making something pretty and tasty made me feel better too.
Hope this helps some.

LK - I think James is saying that he is trying to find that person because he knows he is still in there somewhere under all of this...

I think it's important to remember that we haven't vanished, and it is easy to feel like you've lost yourself when you're sick...trying to find that person again is a common and probably instinctual response to this feeling of loss.

When I was feeling really weak and fatigued I had no desire to go anywhere or do anything, but I at least tried to sit outside up on the deck, not down with the ticks, for a little bit every day. A little bit of fresh air and being in nature helped me. I also feel as though I finally got to know myself better than I ever really did before. I learned things that it might have taken a lifetime to learn if I hadn't gone through this. I did notice that I started to talk to myself more, also my dog, birds, inanimate objects.....the result of spending all day alone!

I too have very hard days. I realized how much I became housebound when I saw a woman from town and she had given birth to a baby girl 2 weeks before. I didn't even know she was pregnant! I live in a small, so I always run into everyone at the market or the coffee shop. I realized when I saw her how disconnected I had become over the past year. I used to love to cook, clean see friends,etc. My husband takes care of the house, I only cook because my kids have to eat but I haven't opened a cookbook for over a year. I do what I have to to make it through the day. My bedroom is my favorite place in the house. And bedtime is my favorite part of the day.

Somedays are much better than others for me. Sometimes I am so positive and feel I will really kick this. And other days Lyme just stinks, and makes me angry and in a bad mood. Those are the days I don't answer the phone. Those are the days my family can look at my face and know that "mom is not happy today", those are the days I could cry because there's nothing I can do about it. I have been dealt this. People are dealt things all the time that suck. I just thought at age 40 I would be in a different place than this right now. Lyme consumes every part of me and I hate it and I don't know how to make that go away.

LymeKiller,

Please start your own threads. If you cannot be supportive to someone in need, please don't post. Jen needs advice and help from everyone. This thread has turned into her helping you. Please have some compassion and understanding.

I had this issue when I first got sick and sometimes still do have times when I have a small problem with it.

I guess the worst part for me was not being able to plan anything. I would have friends call me and say..lets go do this on Staurday.. I am like it is Wed., I have no idea what Saturday will bring me. They had a hard time understanding this.

I had an even harder time dealing with it. I am an "on the go" 24/7 person. We have a classic car and every weekend we were off to some show with it and friends.

For the 1st year of my illness we went NOWHERE with it. I was so bummed. I missed my friends we would go to shows with, I missed getting out..I think that contributed alot to depression and a major funk.

Finally, I made up my mind that I was going to try things again, a little at a time. I actually had some anxiety attacks over this, and  was looking for the closest hospital where ever we went. Not fun.

But, as time went on and I actually got out...sometimes only for 30 mins. at a time...and if I felt really bad we just left. Made no excuse, would just leave. I kept trying and trying...and it has made a world of difference. I found I could get out and do things...not like I used to...But I could still do little things. What a mood booster that was!

Now, I can pretty much for the most part...go and do. Not 24/7 like I used to..But I am not that person anymore...I am a new person and I adapt my life to what I am now....but can get out and it is wonderful.

Try not to dwell on what you are missing or cannot do...Take some baby steps and enjoy what you CAN do. Maybe try going to the beach and just sitting for 15 mins to start. Close your eyes and hear the waves and the seagulls, inhale and smell the saltwater, hear the little kids squeal with excitement as the water hits their toes...let it refresh your soul.

Take baby steps. We all have to start somewhere!

Thanks Canjun.

With all this miserable disease brings us, it does teach us some good things as well.

I have learned to be alot more appreciative for my friends that stuck by me, my wonderful husband, more compassion for people, alot more patience that I ever thought possible for me, and most importantly to be thankful for all the "small" joys in my life.

While I would very often sit and wonder...why me? What did I do to deserve this? Look at those drug addicts, rapists, murders etc etc...why me? I never did anything like that.

Then I would think about all the good, kind people and children out there that have cancer, and know it is terminal or some other kind of horrid disease and pain that they know they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

At least we have the hope that we will get well. I truly did learn the meaning of "there is ALWAYS someone out there worse off than you". I never understood that until Lyme came into my life.

jess,

Awesome post!  You have a great attitude.

Jen,

How awesome that you were able to get out with your sister! I'm so happy for you:):):). See all my smilies? LOL.

You feeling good one day then bad the next is what I went through in the beginning of this disease. It was very weird and sometimes I would question if I was really sick. This is what Lyme does, unforunately. I went from a few good days recently, to none at all:(

Anyway, did you girls have fun?

Thats awesome Jen!!
I know how you feel though sometimes I complain to my fiance that we dont wever do anything then os sunday he wanted to go to a Bar B Q at his friends and take me and I was too week to go you know the feeling like when you feel like your legs are just going to fall out from under you and you cannot even think to be able to pay attention and speak with people.
He went by himself and he was a little sad i didnt go but he didnt stay to long without me.
I felt bad though but what can you do.

I have a Nerf rifle..... it has a scope and a red light.... it shoots "nerf" bullets!  That's how I deal!