Posted 9/6/2009 10:50 AM (GMT -5)
Know what, Vin? I can almost say the same as you (except that my pain was not bad enough to be drugged). I was a month into Amox and seemed to experience some relief on thursday.
The first 3 days of last week, I came home w/ lots of worsening pain everywhere (could hardly walk, my feet hurt so bad), down in the pits, crying until bedtime, w/ a mind so screwed up I could not cope or think or do anything that would have been good for me (like a good detox bath)
That nasty 'S' word kept forcing itself into my head, but I ignored it because we've already made a decision on that. I did, however, make a plan that I was never going back to work, that I was going to leash up my dogs and leave, and go where? had no idea, but probably homeless. I just wanted to escape. (as if the Lyme wouldn't go w/ me, ha ha)
I believe I had some relief Thursday -- I mostly remember not feeling as bad as I feared I would. Then Friday, I was able to think again and I experienced some relief in the depression. YESTERDAY, I did my cleaning job and I KNOW I did not feel as bad as I have before. Some of the pain returned, but subsided when I was done. I am usually crippled afterwards!
I actually went to a party for a few hours AFTER my job and THAT is a first! I did not feel like going, but I went and saw friends I haven't seen since before this all started.
I know Lyme waxes and wanes. But I'm wanting to believe that I may be on the upswing. Vin, isn't that funny how we both experienced some improvement at the same time??
I understand what you are saying about the Amiltrip -- I know it is an older drug and new ones may very well work better. However, I know this drug and exactly how it affects me. I am too scared to change -- my mental state still feels too fragile and I'm scared something knew might cause me to go over the edge.
I firmly believe that the depressions I've had for the past 2 years are from TBI. I've treated depression in the past many times, but this has been like no other.
Maybe wellbutrin would work better, I don't know (I took it for awhile in hopes of quitting smoking). But I know it is entirely possible that NO anti-depressant would work, given the cause of this depression. It is physically caused, I know it . I feel it -- because when it subsides, all of my thought processes are improved and completely different.
I may end up having to eat my words, but I firmly believe that if I can kick this lyme (and whatever co's), this depression and anxiety will be kicked as well.
All I've got for Lyme diagnosis is the known tick bite, LLMD's clinical diag, positive band 39 on WB IgG, low CD57, positive for babs, and all the typical viruses and infections caused by suppressed immune system.
It is entirely possible that I had lyme or something similar back in 72 (see signature). I got VERY sick after that bite and that tick was hugely engorged. I think I was treated w abx for a couple of weeks, but that was for tonsillitis and not a bite, far as we knew back then, because I had no rash. At some point that had to have resolved or gone dormant. Maybe that is my IgG, who knows?
I hope to be done w/ this post, except for checking on others. I'm almost out of Amox and have not been able to get into another LLMD yet. But I still hope that I've got enough improvement to last until I do.
Thank you everyone for all the help and support. God help those of you suffering this kind of misery. I need to check on others of you, ask a couple of questions and I'm actually going to try to clean my apartment! HA!