life is an interesting journey sometimes

I am hurt and angry that I tried to get help years ago

Now I am detroitating

with only prayers that I cna get through this


years ago, I got a mri, my head kept moving back and forth involuntarily in this sublte and sometimes a little more pronounced way


and you know when you are in the thing, you are suppose to lay still as possible

well I couldnt!


my head jerking about


and the person adminstrating it


kept telling me to be still


she would stop it, and tell me to stop



her voice would keep getting more stern, scolding like




(WHy couldnt someone figure this out sooner? my inner child is heartbroken, I am pissed. )




there is something wrong with my head, moving involuntarily



why was the medical person so cruel,


and stop and question, why is this person moving involuntarily ?


i mean I was there for a mri, ... I feel like every medical person I went to, was like a reptile or a robot

no one cared.



now I dont know what my future looks like

I am loosing everything

wow, that happened to u too?

thanks for sharing.

and I am sorry u had to experience that too.

I am glad to see u here.

I appreciate you, and consider u my friend, thank u, it helps me.

be well.

Know that song "Love hurts" I changed the lyrics for ya LOL I love Cee lo!

Lyme hurts, lyme scars,
Lyme wounds, and mars,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Lyme is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Lyme hurts, ooh ooh lyme hurts

Im young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Lyme is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Lyme hurts, ooh ooh lyme hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin me

I know it isn't true,
I know it isn't true
Lyme is not just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Lyme hurts, ooh,ooh lyme hurts
Ooh,ooh lyme hurts

[guitar solo]

I know exactly what you mean... sad but true.

I don't feel like me - I know I'm not like this. Two of my friends who know me since I was a kid told me once that they see that I'm not longer than me.

I've never been in good health during my adult life, so I don't even know how it feels. Sometimes (when I'm feeling really unsure) I think everyone feels like I feel, and that life is like this. But then I try to figure out how the hell they lead their lifes, do all the things they do, etc... with all of that pain and mental / neurological stuff going on. Then my logic wins, and I stop imagining things that aren't true...

about handling the anger: there's some good anger meditation methods out there. It helps.

The anger against drs is fading away, I just don't want to invest any of my energy in them anymore. I really despise them, not worth my anger. Works most of the time, sometimes not.

Tom,
I also almost strangled one of the GP's I had, really had to force myself to stay seated... but I could easily grab his throat. at those moments I suspect them doing this job just for the money...

Lotus, you are not a failure -and I'm sure you know that- just as all these people struggling on this forum are not failures. Your struggles have brought you to a different place that many people may not understand, but as you noted, the ones that care about you are there for you and their love keeps you going, even if they sometimes lose patience sometimes..as we all do. (: I doubt that many of your loved ones and friends see you as you do. I don't think people always know how to react or how to help when the people they are close to are suffering. Sometimes, like the ones suffering with an illness, they will shut down. People tend to be tougher on themselves. Even though you live in a different world, with the constant struggling, you are still the same person inside. Everything I am saying I am sure you already know, but sometimes I think it's good to hear it from someone else.

Love the Cee Lo song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got the beat in my head!

I consider myself Lyme Healed, but still get many hard days. My hard days when I was really sick were overwhelming.
But like the title of your thread says "The Journey". You need to embrace the journey. Many many good things come from illness. Mostly changes to our inner core (soul), which was not aligned before getting ill.

We have two choices (only two) when facing a tough journey; Go kicking and screaming (resist) or walk the path (embrace). There is no in between. Resisting inhibits healing at every angle. Walking and embracing opens up the body to allow it to heal.

When I was ill, I would go deep into the depression of the pity party of it all. Then someone snapped me out of it and said "Allow yourself only so much time to feel sorry for yourself, then swim"
Every time we stop to reflect on the hardships, we are drowning. When we focus on the positives of illness; we swim!

Never give up! Love and Embrace and SWIM ;-)

Jen