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So incredibly disappointed

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Posted 6/5/2014 12:17 PM (GMT -5)
I've been looking for a job for months, because the one I currently have pays horribly. I had a second interview on Tuesday that I really thought was promising. They had TWO positions available. They said they were going to be making a decision by the end of June. Today I got the "Thank you for your interest" email. I'm so completely devastated! It's hard enough dealing with this disease, taking care of the house, working another part-time job and looking after the kids all at once. Never mind adding the stress of looking for a new job on top of all of that. I feel like such a failure. And I feel hopeless. And tired. And sad. EVERY DAY I have the thought of my alimony ending in October looming over my head. EVERY DAY. I need a job to take some of this stress off off me.
Posted 6/5/2014 12:40 PM (GMT -5)
I'm so sorry they turned you down when there were 2 positions available. You're not a failure. So many people are having a hard time finding jobs these days, many of them college grads. I don't blame you for feeling devastated, though. It's hard enough battling illness without having to job hunt, so you do have a lot on your shoulders. I pray something will turn up for you this summer.
Posted 6/5/2014 12:54 PM (GMT -5)
Thank you, Garden Peace. I'm just so tired. Of all of it.
Posted 6/5/2014 1:46 PM (GMT -5)
Soscared I am so incredibly sorry! I am losing my job too. Tomorrow is my last paycheck and I can never go back. Just got a part time job making almost minimum wage at a grocery store. I feel your pain.
Posted 6/5/2014 2:13 PM (GMT -5)
Oh, Lymebabe. Why did you lose your job? Because of the Lyme? I'm so sorry. I still have a job, but it pays crap. I'm looking for something better and not having any luck, despite having just spent more than $1,000 (that I didn't have) taking some certification courses.
Posted 6/5/2014 2:16 PM (GMT -5)
Yes, because of Lyme. Actually, because of mold. The school is terribly moldy and I can never be a teacher again because of it. I thought about teaching online but I am just too weak to do that and I can't be in front of computer all day. I am hoping that I can move up the ladder in the grocery store. I love food. I love everything about it. So except the pay it's good.
Posted 6/5/2014 4:10 PM (GMT -5)
Lymebabe, I'm sorry you're going through a job loss and it's a shame you can't teach any more. I wonder how many kids are affected by the mold. It could sure impact their learning.

Soscared, I know you're worn out from it all. It's a lot for 1 person to deal with on their own and it's not what you wanted your life to be like, but you seem to be a strong person, so keep doing what you can. Do you have anyone that can help you out some? Maybe just take your kids out for a couple of hours so you could just rest? Support groups can be so good if you have any in your area. Not many do.

Take care.
Posted 6/5/2014 7:39 PM (GMT -5)
I do have a support group in the area, but they haven't been meeting lately. This latest job rejection thew me for a loop. It really seemed promising, and they said they weren't going to decide until the end of the month. It really sent me into a spiral. I cried for hours and considered admitting myself to a hospital for some rest. But instead, I talked to my therapist, and I'm taking an epsom salt bath after downing 2 ativan. I never take them during the day, but I needed to escape my thinking--it was making me want to die. Now the combo of warm water and the drugs have me feeling kind of--whatever. I think I needed this to let my nervous system rest a bit.
Posted 6/5/2014 7:55 PM (GMT -5)
That's too bad they aren't meeting up.

I can understand your reaction to the news. That was pretty bad for them to give you the impression that you'd be considered until the end of the month and then send you that email. They should've at least called you instead of emailing.

I'm glad you did something to help you relax...at least I hope you are. Hang in there.
Posted 6/5/2014 8:52 PM (GMT -5)
Soscared-- keep doing what you have to to remain alive so you can Beat the cr-p put of Lyme and their crazy friends...

Love love and love,
Sarah
Posted 6/6/2014 9:46 AM (GMT -5)
I'm trying to, Sarah. Today I feel so much better--thank God! No headache, no achey neck, no brain fog, no depression. I think I cried it all out of me yesterday. I'm giving myself the weekend off from worrying about finding a new job (though I did just send an electronic resume to a posting I found online). I'll spend the weekend with my kids, then regroup next week. There's gotta be something out there for me, right?
Posted 6/6/2014 10:26 AM (GMT -5)
I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better today! Crying is good stress release. I was going to suggest that you take some time off from looking, but I didn't think you'd appreciate that advice, so I'm glad you decided to on your own. Have a great weekend with your kids!

Have you ever read about EFT? People claim it does help with the emotional state of mind. I haven't tried it enough to know, but it might be worth looking into.
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