pale, weak and dizzy-----stressed!!!

I haven't been feeling great for a few days now, but today was kind of bad. My skin and lips are really pale. I feel rather dizzy and weak. Granted, I've been rather stressed and am probably doing too much physically too. I went in for my eye exam today, and my blood pressure was 90/70....which is quite normal for me. Sorry to complain, but I feel kind of icky.

I had to move some hay around, since the horses were almost out and we're supposed to get rain/snow tomorrow. And I don't think it got above 20 today. It was 6 when I went out to feed this morning. Its harder on me physically to do all this, but it so much easier than having to deal with my sister.

The original deal we had with her friend coming to live here for a few weeks didn't happen at all like she said it would. This friend was supposed to come up for a day before she was coming to stay so I could meet her first. That never happened. She just showed up today. And of course today was a really bad day for me.

Up at 6am to make sure I took care of the horses before I had to go see the eye doctor. Then I had about 10 minutes between getting home and the vet coming. That was a lot of fun, since my youngest mini was a bit evil. But the poor thing has a sinus infection, so its hard to be too mad. Standing around outside when its 18 just plain sucks. Then I had to hurry up and feed and clean up, before it got dark. And luckily I remembered about needing to move hay. Got back inside and crashed. Just really tired.

And its pretty much impossible for me to be friendly and sociable when I'm tired and sick. Really wish my sister hadn't forced this on me, especially after the last person we had living here. She seemed ok at first, but it later became apparent she was very unstable when she threatened to hurt some of my animals. Had to get the police involved in getting her gone. The deal after that was we'd have no non-family live here again, ever.

I tried to be understanding with my sister about her friend, and I was pretty clear. I've gotta meet her first before she comes to stay. But yet again, my sister disregards my feelings. This is just what she does. Steam rolls right over me, whines and complains until she gets her way. Doesn't care at all that she's killing me. If I was feeling well, I'd fight back. But I'm too sick (ummm....neuro lyme here....) and tired to fight back. So I just roll over, play dead and try not to hurt her.

I really, really don't get it. I try to be a nice, considerate person with her....but it always comes back to bite me. When she asks for help, I help. But if I ask her for help, she whines and complains. Just better to not even talk to her and do it myself. I thought her self-centeredness would get better as she got older. But she's 25 now...and its high time she grew up already!

And this is a big part of why I really want/need to get better so I can work, earn money and live on my own! So I don't have to put up with this. I do my best to try to see things from the other person's point of view, but I just don't get how she could act like this.

Horses are good therapy, so I can understand not wanting to give them up. I'd think your sister could help with some of their care, but it seems she's not interested in that. She still has some growing up to do, so maybe in the future you 2 will be closer.

What about your dad? Is he willing to help you? Maybe he could get your sister to help you some.

I enjoyed hearing about your horses and can tell how much they help you. Hopefully you'll get some help from someone. Get some good rest.