Burnt out and venting........

Yea well, I guess venting is nothing new here. I expected big changes from ABX. . Getting the leftovers to go away was what I hoped ABX would do. Now I'm thinking that lyme / co does do long term damage and I may never be normal again. One Doc#1 not sure, and Doc #2 thinks Lyme and co are gone.

Granted I'm not and never been bed ridden from this in 25yrs, kind of lucky. After the first few yrs the leftovers just lingered, weaned and waned every year. So the light symptoms I still have do take there toll over the years on this 50 yr old body. Its really zapping my motivation. Aches, brain tired, low motivation, at least anxiety is better. Its like the anxiety is what kept me moving before. The only thing that feels good now is laying down after work and on weekends, which I spend to much valuable time doing nowdays. Exercising - the moment feels good, days after still dont.

I've been a do it your selfer forever, projects are piling up faster that I can finish them now. Whimper whimper LOL. I used to be very motivated, even with pain - just delt with it, cause tomorrows another day. But now its like the movie groundhog day. Back in my younger years, a highly specialized endurance sport that I excelled at kept me motivated even when I wasnt - right into my late thirties.

No lyme pills of any sort at the moment, I tring to fix my leaky gut again.

Tired of waiting to get my self and motivation back, if it ever will. This is a vicious circle that I dont want to get stuck in. I dont think I ever vented here, so this is it. Its almost 2 PM, yawn, I wanna nap again...... good grief........

My lyme culture test was negative at 3 or 4 weeks incubation. C4a improved, CD-57 did not. Doc is suggesting Igenics co panel. I'm not so excited to donate $800 to Igenics.

Before my year long Anxiety "spell", which has dwindled in the last month, caffeinated beverages helped my motivation. Obviously I didnt use that during my anxiety, and I'm trying to stay away from it now.

So I went from one year of abnormally high strung-ness, to the recent the speed of a slug. Some middle ground please!

It floors me how we can change so fast. Speaking of the floor, I lay there a lot lately (trying to preserve my couch LOL).

Guess if I go back to a little diet Mnt Dew when I HAVE to get motivated, I wont suddenly die. Coffee rips up my gut.

Funny, I'm tired even though It was discovered that I some how have B6 toxicity per blood test- its a gene mutation problem. I cant have ANY B6, it stays in me, doc is trying to figure out how to fix it. So how can I be tired? Strange.

Adrenal saliva was in 2013. So, yes, I could repeat it again.

My high anxiety improved when I stopped ABX 2 months ago. Trying also to figure out my detox issue I have per genetic testing which makes detoxing not very effective for me..

Currently fine tuning my thyroid med too, another thing that takes time.