So, we have a rule that when we do things outside or in the kitchen we text when we're going and when we're done. Like "I'm going to make lunch" and then "I'm done". This is basically so we don't run into each other. I make sure to pay attention to this and avoid areas where my stresster is until she's done....since I have no interest in dealing with her face to face (or at all, really).

I texted that I was making lunch, and I had to run downstairs to get some stuff. As I get to the top of the stairs, I hear my stresster running away. She didn't stay in her room like she was supposed to, which is above the kitchen. She had to come downstairs, where we could have run into each other.

I reminded her calmly by text that she had no business being downstairs while I was, and that I respect her space when she asks for it. She told me to 'calm down' and that absolutely nothing happened. Obviously, she thinks I'm some out of control monster who just makes things up.

The reality is I was trying to calmly reinforce a boundary. I recognized a boundary issue, I calmly responded in a non-confrontational manner....more so I could not get stuck with being upset.

I know she's a totally self centered childish diva ***** drama queen who gets off on creating conflict. But I'm so freakin' tired of her behavior. She's 25 years old....come on...grow up!

Is it too harsh to write her a letter, detailing everything she's ever done to hurt me, and tell her to stay the heck out of my life....and email that to her the day she leaves?

Why can't it be September yet?

I agree whole hardheartedly with Girlie... was going to suggest the same idea... it is a very therapeutic exersize ... especially if you write as if you are talking to the person.

*And not sending it...
That way you can "put it away" then go back to it (say after a couple days) review,edit and get more clear about your feelings.

So then by the time she leaves...you have clear concise communication...then you can decide if you want to "send it"
or just have it there... for when you may need it.

Maybe just as a reminder of what she is capable of, so that you
can protect yourself.

If you give her the letter, it will only make things worse.

The key about a conflict like that is not to get hooked into the drama.

She probably won't change, and it's most likely best for you just to walk away.

My sister and I don't get along at all, and I cannot imagine what it would be like living with her.

Have you thought of trying therapy, either for yourself, so you can learn how to deal with the situation, or for both of you? If you're going to have to live together, you might need to find a way to get along.

If I could find a way to get my sister to come to a therapist with me, I would do it (I think).

Is your sister abusive (none of my business; you don't have to answer)?

What does your Dad think about the whole situation?

Margaret

~Sayya

The folks that have not been raised with this kind of person will not get it... (no offense intended to anyone)...

Its like having Lyme "You don't get it...until You get it"

I sense your frustration... i have shared with you before about my experience with my sister...when i was recovering from a stroke.

I don't know if i had shared how she wanted to be my "roommate" after i found out i was sick... NO FREAKING WAY!!!

That's why i made the suggestion about refining the letter to be clear for yourself... so that she doesn't manipulate her way back in... down the road... i know how devious that personality can be.

PLEASE KNOW that i am not encouraging bitterness and resentment...

I AM ENCOURAGING SELF PROTECTIVE MEASURES!

My therapist gave me a book "Emotional Vampires" <isn't that a great description.

Dealing with that personality when we are not sick is emotionally draining.
But to deal with it When We Are Sick... Can Be Emotionally Devastating!

***A suggestion... Google how to protect yourself from emotionally abusive people... or a similar phrase... the main point is HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF! See if you can find ideas that may resonate with you...or look on Youtube and listen with headphones.

Do you have Mp3 player?

Another thing... please feel free to email me... anytime you need to vent... IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO RELIEVE STRESS.

(((HUGS)))