I apologize for the late return. I'm sure I wasn't missed too sorely though.
Thank you, everyone. I would respond to all of you properly, but I just don't have it in me right now. People problems.
I'm not only tired of being sick, but also tired of people not understanding, especially when they're people that I'm close to, even rely on to stay alive, and I'm tired of me being too unable to really do anything about
that.
You don't get me, and I don't get you. Neither of us are entirely to blame. That's just how life is for us now, I guess.
If it were that easy, don't you think I would have went that route by now? Do I like being sick? Do I enjoy pain? Am I happy about
the fact that the money spent has not amounted to more?
Ask yourself, really.
No, I'm not.
But, that's how it is, and those people aren't going to do a darn thing to change that. I can't tell you why, but you're just going to have to trust me. I know.
Why can't I change it myself? Like I said before, it's not that easy. Chronic illness. Do you know what that means? I guess not.
It's hard, there is failure, a lot of it, especially for someone like me. I don't have a doctor, a good one anyway. I have to be my doctor, and I'm terrible at it.
It's just me, with the help of other people who are in the same spot or darn close, people with their own problems, own health to worry about
.
Why don't you get it? Why don't you hear me?
I give up on you, and I mean it this time.
Think what you want to think. I'm probably screwed anyway. I'll be dead soon, especially if you're gonna be acting this way. Thanks for all the "love," all you've done for me. Thanks for being there for me, when it really mattered. Tell yourself how ****ing much of a friend you were to me in life, not knowing that you played a role in my death. THINK YOURSELF MY FRIEND MY ALLY. DO IT. BE THE IGNORANT. NEVER LEARN, NEVER LISTEN. MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES UNTIL YOU ****ING DIE. YOU ARE PERFECT, RIGHT. ALWAYS RIGHT, EVEN WHEN YOU ARE WRONG. BLIND, BUT YOU SEE IT ALL.
**** YOU.
LUCKY I AM SO BRAIN DEAD AND HELPLESS, ALL OF YOU. GET AWAY WITH MURDER. ENJOY.
Anyway, don't mind all of that, guys. In fact, you can just delete this..
Thanks again..
You're good people. My only real friends, real family. The only ones that ever really cared, even if only a little bit.
Best wishes..
Keep trying. Succeed, where I couldn't.