Wow! This was very emotional to read. I find it especially interesting how we make sure to emphasize -what a wonderful guy he is, steady, etc... And yet they say such horrible things and behave badly. Let's back up a bit: They are saying these disturbing and hurtful things and behaving badly towards wonderful, caring, sweet, etc. severely ill individuals who are in a weakened and vulnerable state. Thanks for the bed of nails pals and gals. This is emotional abuse at it's finest. A breach of vows- As in sickness and in health. Thank you for teaching our children how to treat the vulnerable.

I don't get it. I don't ever remember saying anything awful or doing anything inappropriate when my husband was sick. And he has often been ill over the years.

I move on quickly from controversy. I don't dwell. I have strategies that work for me. I've learned over the years. (Another story for another day.)

In my opinion, the worst label that a human being can carry is 'mean'. At the height of it's worst: 'mean SOB'. It is a simple word, a short word that carries with it a massive weight of negativity. It also incorporates the headings: inconsiderate, selfish, self-centered.....add more as needed.......all nicely packages in a bag labelled 'bully'.

The mud from my hubbie's slingshot consisted of the following:

"Now look what you've done. We're screwed. We are going to sink and sink fast. You are of no use to anyone."

"No, it is best if I go alone without you. You are too slow. You'll hold me up."

"Whatever you do, don't bring up Lyme. People don't want to hear about it."

To others:" I had to do everything all by myself for several months. She couldn't do anything." ( He was referring to things that I did for him personally before becoming ill. Not things that I did for the family as a whole on top of catering to him. He couldn't even and still can't grocery shop.)

The topper: Adding insult to injury, he got flirty with a divorcee and a married woman. They fell for his charms and panicked when he realized that he had gotten in deeper than he had planned. He solicited my help in scaring them off.

Please don't feel sorry for me. I was more disappointed in him than upset over the comments. And when he would ask me to do things for him once I was more able I would reply : "I don't think that I am able to be of any use to anyone at this time but feel free to try me again at a later date."

about my speed. If he would ask me to go with him somewhere and I didn't feel like it I would reply: "No, that's ok. You go ahead without me. I'll only hold you up."

I asked him to pick up three avocados for me the other day. He came home with three overripe ones. They were rotten on the inside. I didn't tell him. I quietly placed them in my secret waste receptacle that I secretly empty nightly to protect myself from him criticizing what I throw in the trash. I grocery shop to my heart's content now.

As for Flirtie and Flirtette, I took my time scaring them off. I din't want to make it too easy for him. Near the end, I told them both that Hubbie appreciated their kindness and concerns for him ( they never once offered to help me, only him hahahahahahaha)
and that they should give him a call. Only Flirtette was blind enough to call. He asked her to never call again.

The trials and tribulations of life.

I believe this: People make mistakes. And we should forgive but never forget. I especially believe that we teach people how to treat us and that people treat us according to to how we allow them to treat us.

People who treat us badly when we are unable to defend ourselves are mean.

It is hard for me to be so open, so I will submit quickly before I delete. He goes.....................submit or delete, submit or delete, if you are reading this ............

Thank you Traveler.