Folks!!

I think it is necessary for all of us to be able to see commedy in the very thing that destroyed our lives. Without humor we cannot survive this madness.
I know, I know there is nothing pleasant or funny about lyme disease!!! But please, in RL a.k.a ..real life....I actually do not sound like doomsday bat***t depressed. Not at all. In fact I always try to find the good side from the bad sides of life, even if I do that with a foul mouthfull of complains and abrasive, “how dare of you!!” observations .
It is what helps me carry on everyday, and then I become a better person because I have learned somethings in the universe are just.... blah, blah, blah....You know what I mean.

Lyme already left a dent inside and outside of all us,deplorable.... I meant ...miserable souls...on the edge of a cliff, hanging from a rope in a windy winter night, at minus 30F. Or worse, because we kinda feel like the Little Match Girl in Andersen tale. --if you are not familiar with that story, go and look it up--- That story is as depressing as lyme.

Please feel free to add (or remove and substitute) anything, or to write anything, event or story that you think would make us laugh, or smile just about anything that is connected to YOUR lyme life (copyright XXVLL).

TOP 10 REASONS Lyme is not as bad as you thought.....

10. You can use, literally, 1000 diseases to choose from as sickness excuses.

9. It is so much easier now to dump unwanted suitors (e.i hateful wannabe annoying boyfriend/girfriend). Just tell them lyme and syphilis partially share DNA. They will be gone, for Evahh!!

8. You are smarter than ever, despite the brain fog, you can spell words like doxycycline and tetracycline but you can't still remember where you left your car keys.

7. Spirochetes ain't that bad because it sounds like a Japanese pop band.... Ladies and Gentlemen The Spirochetes!!!!

6. You can recite all your antibiotics names and treatments and sound like Harry Potter casting a spell at Hogwart....or whatever is called that place.

5. You real cool and a little cuckoo now because Cat's claw, Lion's Mane and Japanese Knotweed, all sounds like voodoo and witchcraft to family and friends.

4. Lyme disease opened your mind to all sort of alternative practices you never thought you embrace. Rife machines, Bee venom cures... soon animal sacrifices, tarots and the shaman. Nothing is off the list anymore.

3. Peers, family and friends finally accept your eating habits. You are not longer a trendy, tree hugger, wholefoods shopper hipster. You are just sick like all of them...but in a different, twisted way.

2. You feel for Jeff Goldblum character in the movie The Fly...an experiment gone wrong, only you are living this in real life!!!! arghhhhh!!!!

1. Your fridge's door content $$ value in supplements & co. surpasses the value of your checking account and you are living the life of a monk in every possible way.

Post Edited (artermix) : 9/21/2016 7:29:12 PM (GMT-6)

By jove, I think you've both got it!! LOL!!!!

You have made my evening complete.

To reword dogsblood funny take on it:

- The best diet ever! Zombie walking dead in line for the catwalk!

- Cure to alcoholism (Sure can't drink anymore, but what brilliant fun laughing at the drunks!)!

Add:

- You are the TV idiot savant having watched so much sublime (pun?) television. You would sparkle at cocktail parties (were u able to swill with friends), regurgitating all the latest & vast news reports, cooking tips & celeb stories, -if- you could only succinctly remember what you watched!

Ha, ha, ha! Adding on. Not sure which number this makes all the offerings.

15. The lyme spirochetes and their troops of co-infected beastly creatures will ensure that your work-a-holism is stripped down and will also ensure that you come to appreciate the pace of snails.

16. The overgrowth of their forces will also force you as an individual to sign up for camps of thinking one would NEVER sign up for otherwise and you'll find yourself generating your own guidelines for SEA (sugar eaters anonymous) GEA (gluten eaters anonymous) JFEA (junk food eaters anonymous) PEA (popcorn eaters anonymous.)

17. Your pride will be completely and totally stripped down and survival instincts will kick in and this fight for life will take no prisoners as you research, innovate, and create ways to get your sorry arse out of misery.

18. Your day to day activity will no longer revolve around former passions and interests - it will revolve around two very basic things: healing stuff in, toxins out - but the cat will beg to differ and will INSIST she be groomed, cuddled, and loved 24/7.

Love this!! May I add:

- Your memory impairment allows you to make new friends every day! (ie, do I know that person? do I hate that person? Doesn't matter..won't remember seeing them anyway!)
- Your light/sound/smell sensitivities give you almost superhero powers (ie, you can hear that noisy high-heeled coworker from a mile away...which gives you enough time to go hide!)

* There is a delicious awareness that surfaces on the days when one completely jumps ship from your lyme and co-infections healing protocol boat and dives into the soothing waters of cheat, cheat, cheat indulging in all those taboo foods and drinks and activities and the comfort of some force tossing you a life saver and roping you back into the healing protocol boat where you share about the bliss of giving oneself permission to enjoy guilty pleasures in little bits and bobs in the long string of moments that make up your "new normal" sort of life.
* For the first time in your life the scale doesn't tell you - hey fattie - get your big fat rump in action and shed some of that lard. You've come to be at peace with your fleshier self. The scale now says - hello new you - little skinny, frail body - feed me nourishing things, let's put the flesh back on our bones with kindness, awareness, and above all else - gratitude.

Yup - so true 3humpedcamel (love that name)

* The best human pesticide energy sucker remover around. Have an overgrowth of these pesky kritters, low life good for nothing back biting turds you once thought were friends seep into the eaves never to be seen again. They just evaporate - poof, like that, and because it takes so long to recover, you forget about them and better yet, they forget about you and find someone else to sink their vampire energy sucking energy into.

* If one can energize, there is opportunity to revamp one's wardrobe and size down a few sizes. Toss a coin, do I want to buy these herbs, or do I really want this new pair of pants. Buy the pants - once back at work - you don't want to look like a slob.

* It brings out forgotten passions, such as preparing food once energy comes back enough for this, and you discover the WONDER of enjoying the natural taste of things - such as the occasional slice of home made banana bread made sans sugar or flour.

* Then there is the return back to life, as symptoms begin to recede, the JOY at being able to SLEEP more often than not! Or - my goodness! I thought my libido would NEVER come back. What? That feeling? OMG I thought that was FOREVER gone. Now - awaiting the energy to actually do something about it.

AK - ha, ha, ha .. save on heating bills!!