artermix said...
Seriously Traveler? Cuz I have been living healthier than most people all my life and way before lyme too. To that I can only say that it helped me not to get the crippling, physical kind of lyme, and pardon my non political correctness as well as boldness, but that is how I truly feel.
I took charge and control of my body way before this nightmare begun, yet I still got infected (I guess it was my fault that too ya know...that is what mother would say.)
And perhaps I am one of those people just not happy with the status quo....I hear you ....I understand your point of view in this is much different. I am thankful I did not have to fight it for 40 years like you and frankly I could not. You are my hero. Yet I would kill myself to view that projection of my life....and that is not mental illness of mine or depression....or whatever you wanna call it. It is simply a reality I could not conceive in my universe.
I am a grandmother too...as you are....but to me quality of life is about personal fulfillment. I am not happy just spending time with my granddaughter and family...heck no...that to me! It is just the beginning of a death sentence for me. It removes and reduces everything I have worked for all my life. May as well be dead.
I am so very sorry, Artermix. I do know what you are talking about
, and have lived with that all my life - as you note. Has it been easy? No, but I AM still here to see not only my own children grow up (which I wouldn't have had if I had been successful at taking my own life), and to watch my grandchildren grow up. I have also had the time in my life to find one of the most wonderful men in the world that loves me despite my limitations.
Do I have a very simple life? Yep! But I have also come to really enjoy it. And I love being able to help others through this extremely rough time in their lives. Has it been my dream all my life to do this? Nope! I was on track to becoming a head horse trainer with a very well-known barn in Scottsdale, Az at one time. That was my dream - but Lyme took me out of that. At that point, I thought my life was over - what I didnt' realize was that my life - where I was really going to be of the most help to people - hadn't even started yet. That didn't happen until I happened upon this site nearly 10 years ago. I was a regular member, but wanting to help where I could, so when the head mod suddenly started getting worse, I stepped in some, and then a month later, I found myself as the only mod on here. That was nearly 7 years ago.
While I would have much, MUCH preferred living my life the way I had it planned, I surely don't regret anything that I have done since it all changed. I feel like I have been able to still live my life in a very good way, even with my limitations.