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Posted 7/14/2017 12:59 AM (GMT -5)
I have constant derealization/depersonalization/dissociation but I am usually able to recognize that I am indeed in reality. Since a few days ago I haven't been able to, usually I can feel reality just a little bit. Suicide doesn't seem like a bad idea right now and I don't want to do something stupid but it's all I can think about.. I just don't give a crap about getting better I honestly just want to die. I cannot seem to muster any feelings of hopefulness.. I'm left in a pit where hopelessness surrounds me and my rational self is absent.

Post Edited (Alicethenut) : 7/14/2017 12:05:51 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/14/2017 1:12 AM (GMT -5)
This is not you talking, this is the disease, the bacteria, their toxic load they are dumping into your brain. It is not reality and it is not permanent or forever, those awful feelings. I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. This illness really does a number on our mental health.

Please, reach out for help when you are feeling like this. 1-800-273-8255 is the national suicide prevention hotline. If you are in dire straits please call a friend or parent or 911! You are too important to lose to Lyme.

I am praying for you Alice. Hold on, things will get better, I promise!
Posted 7/14/2017 4:16 AM (GMT -5)
It gets better with treatment.it just a really long really bad trip...
Posted 7/14/2017 7:35 AM (GMT -5)
So very sorry things are hard right now, Alice! I'm thinking of you! Please call the number provided above. Reach out to family and friends.
Posted 7/14/2017 7:46 AM (GMT -5)
have you been dx'd with Lyme?
Posted 7/14/2017 9:44 AM (GMT -5)
Alice, there is always hope. Please go back and read ChickNorris' post. I wish I knew what to say to help you.

How about this -- I healed from lyme and am living a very happy life now. I am swimming most days and tan. I work a tiny part time job just so I can help out our local fire department as the district clerk.

I cook again, back to studying for my bible study class. I do my crafts and I enjoy my family and friends.

For awhile I didn't do anything but be sick, take herbs and try to take care of myself to get well. It is a frustrating process and it required so much patience from me.

BUT, if I can do it, anyone can. I am not a spring chicken. My baby grandson is 19 for crying out loud.

Remember we are all here and care about you. Come and just write to us. <3
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