Clonazepam & hydroxyzine for anxiety

So I finally broke down and told my LLMD I can't take the anxiety anymore. Ive tried all of the natural remedies she recommends, as well as many others I thought were worth a shot, but the results have been minor to none.

In the absolute worst times its all I can do to get through a single second- & each second feels like an hour! I've managed to survive this far with a combination of binaural beats, relaxation exercises, tapping, kavakava and California poppy tincture. I also take extra doses of burbur when I think it could help , and up my other detox methods. I really can't say any of those things have provided the results I need to be ok.

This has been an ongoing issue, and is preventing my going foreword with my Lyme treatment more aggressively-as herxing ( as well as my body's 'natural ' cycle & the Lyme cycle as well) majorly increases the anxiety.

I've been asking my LLMD for help but she kept putting me off until last Tuesday when I emailed her and told her I couldn't take anymore. I asked that she eaither prescribe me something herself or refer me to a doc who can. She was away at a conference but called me in scripts for clonazepam & hydroxyzine .

The doses are very low, and I really can't say they're helping at all at these dosages & frequencys. Obviously I'm not going to take more than prescribed. But one thing I've noticed is it seems like eaither one or both meds are making me depressed. Ugh!!! That's one problem I don't usually have- and since the anxiety is still there, it's not even a trade off!

Has anyone else experienced similar issues with these meds?

Many years ago I took xanex ( for a few years) and stopped when it was no longer necessary. I also have taken Ativan several times after my boyfriend died & another major loss, as well as once for a terrible systemic allergic reaction ( which I believe was really a Lyme issue) .

Neither of those medications ever caused this depression- and they also relieved/reduced the anxiety. Furthermore , as I went off them easily I don't think I need to be concerned over potential addiction. Not to mention, at this point there's no 'choice' involved- I simply cannot continue this way.

I see my LLMD this Tuesday . A special appointment to figure out this anxiety thing. I'm hoping & praying that she will prescribe me something that actually works & that doesn't make me feel this awful depression!

Does anyone have any suggestions regarding anti anxiety meds ( or natural remedies?) also anybody else feel this depression from the 2 I'm on now?

PeteZa- Thanks for the thoughtful response! I totally agree about pharmaceuticals, and how sometimes just knowing that you have the option of filling a script if you absolutely have to-can be helpful.

I honestly think that if I had emotionally supportive people in my life things would be much different. unfortunately I don't have anyone in my life to be there for me & talk me down or give me a hug ( or even just be THERE in my physical vicinity) when I'm feeling my worst.

I'm lucky to have some family support financially & with getting to appointments etc, but my little brother is the only one I can talk to. He's recently married, and I promised him I'd never call him freaking out.

I suppose if I felt I was going to do something stupid I could call him, but it's a position I'd do almost anything to avoid putting him in -especially as I can feel crazy 1,000 + times a day! Talking me down could easily become a full time job! ;)

I've had a lot of deaths /loss of those closest to me over the past 7-8 years- infact I think the stress of those losses was what allowed my Lyme to totally take over. I know you understand grief & loss, so I'm certainly not telling you anything you haven't experienced! But the absolute lack of a support system combined with grief can be overwhelming.

That's another reason that this forum has become such a lifesaver for me. Really don't know where I'd be without the support I get from you guys- Thanks All!

Anyway, thanks for the reminder to try to keep busy. Sometimes it really can be a struggle when I'm in the thick of things & feeling so sick .It's also good to know that you managed to get through healing from your infections without pharmaceuticals. It's inspiring!

Well here I go... one day at a time ( or one second at a time, as it may be)

Pre-lyme diagnosis, I had horrible anxiety and I took Klonopin, Xanax and Trazadone at various points. I liked the Xanax the best. I only took them in low doses and at night to sleep because I had nightmares, etc..

I was able to wean off all of them fine, even though I hear horror stories. Nothing happened to me. I think you should do what you need to do and be kind and don't judge yourself for needing something. It doesn't mean you are a failure or that you can't hack it. It is just temporary like wearing a cast when your leg is broken.

Not having emotional support is the worst part of this disease. I like to say a wet cat gets more attention than a lyme patient. Most of my family believed my husband, who told everyone I was going crazy. I actually had my two best friends follow me on my iPhone so they could come and rescue me if he committed me.

I'm now back to normal and he does admit he was wrong. Hang in there.

PeteZa - I have to ask, You are still healed right??? NO relapse??? You are my role model....

oxoxox