Emotional Disconnection

Sorry to hear that bry. And yes-feeling disconnected is very common. Unfortunately I do not have too much advice in that department other then to hang in there. It does get better. Echinacea helped my moods a little bit but more stabilized then anything. As far as relationship advice, if you don't want it to end try again. Healing from a disease like this takes up your whole life and it is hard for people not going through it to understand. Sometimes that means taking more time for yourself-Most people I think understand that...I'm the type that when I don't feel good I push everyone away which is not a good thing. Just make sure whatever you do, you are doing it for the right reasons!

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=3774460

I posted this a few days ago in response to another members inquiry - so trust me you are definitely not alone. I don't know if that helps.

...And I couldn't understand for years why people got excited by stupid little things, like party favor colors or a new shirt-or why they got upset because someone made an off-hand comment. And I don't mean I was judgemental-I just literally could not relate to that world anymore- I did NOT understand or comprehend it. It made it sometimes all that much harder to connect to others.

To expand on that, I couldn't imagine getting excited over something like a color - I don't know if it was the depression or more confusion "why does this color make you happy? Why are you excited over a candle? Did that comment make you cry-I don't think they meant it...Don't think it is worth crying over." I just could not relate at all.

And there is a very specific reference that I remember. I was at my sister in laws bridal shower and understandably her mom was very excited. And she talked on and on about the party favors. I smiled politely but I distinctly remember being so confused...and a lot of people get excited about things like that, I would say its normal.

I know it is supposed to be the little things in life...but maybe when you are dealing with big things it is harder to relate to the little things that other people get excited about.

I've got much tougher skin after this but joy took a bit more time to come back. It came back to me through the blessing of my son. Best. Thing. Ever. Now I personally can enjoy a lot of things now all by my bad self - mainly nature or a darn good cup of coffee. But trust me Joy will come back, peace will come back, and so will stability! We are here with you!

I have this, quite bad. I describe it as more than emptiness because you can "feel" empty. Its not a depression because you can feel depressed. It's more. A nothingness. It's impossible to describe if someone hasn't felt it but it's a horrific experience and I'm sorry you're going through it.

I'm not sure if this is specific to one infection or just the brain inflammatory process as a whole

Aerose91 said...
I have this, quite bad. I describe it as more than emptiness because you can "feel" empty. Its not a depression because you can feel depressed. It's more. A nothingness. It's impossible to describe if someone hasn't felt it but it's a horrific experience and I'm sorry you're going through it.

I'm not sure if this is specific to one infection or just the brain inflammatory process as a whole

Well said, Aerose91. That's why psych meds are so tricky, like is my body even producing serotonin anymore? Or do my damaged nerves even know what to do with serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine any more? (or less???) This is all post-lyme stuff and a special type of horror to experience, it's like when I was experiencing philosophy before I knew the names for it not necessarily solipsism but yes maybe good to live alone, I hear you BungalowMo! but, existential crises etc. but it is this next level nerve-bacteria interference that psych meds cannot seem to touch.

However I will qualify that Trazodone and Doxepin, oldie goldie antidepressants now used as effective insomnia remedies. These work! I had, for the first time in (years?) an uplifting dream that last night I remembered upon waking. Doxepin 10mg, first time ever, ftw!

And I will only recommend prescriptions that I have confirmed anecdotally to work, Doxepin and Trazodone for sleep for instance. Take either/or, but not both, so as to avoid serotonin syndrome. The mind and body are complex things, and chemistry was one of my worst subjects, it's mind boggling how we are on some level and in a manner of speaking just a living sack of microbes, water and chemicals.

Post Edited (borrelioburgdorferii) : 6/17/2018 4:51:47 PM (GMT-6)