Having a hard day

For some reason it's hitting me harder lately. I've been out of the game of life for 8 yrs now. I had so many things I wanted to accomplish but I've sat in this insanely think derealization and watched all my friends move on with their lives. Get better jobs, buy a new house, have kids. It kills me to watch all this from the sidelines but I have no option.
I want to partake in life again. I want to pursue my passions. I want to have a healthy social circle. I always really wanted a family. I want to lead a life of fulfillment! Instead I can't even feel time or time passage because the DR & DP are so thick. It's so hard to live every day like this. It's just.... very trying. To lose so many years
I'm sorry for a vent without purpose, sometimes it bubbles up in me and I can't talk to any friends- I have few left and they don't understand.
I still maintain hope that I'll live a good life but it's hard to fathom it. I want to believe I can and this is all for something greater but lately it's hard to see that through the anxiety and sadness about how long it's been.

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. I'm right there with you, I too am going through a tough time as well. Yep, I've seen my friends move on with their lives and I'm still here, having accomplished nothing due to being sick. But I know one thing, if people can achieve remission and get back to their normal lives, so can I. There's a glimmer of hope inside of me that I hold on to. I know things will get better, I just have to wait for the right time.

Please keep going, so many of us are. We have no other choice. Take things one day at a time. Better days are coming, believe it.

Sending you love, light and keeping you in my prayers