Glad you shared, Lightlife. This is too tough a slog to do alone, right?
Morning anxiety like you describe is brutal. While you have been dealing with it much longer than I did, I know what you mean about
dreading the next day, and just how utterly miserable the feeling is. My sense of this phenomenon, for me, is that it started as an adrenal symptom of infections, but it became a neurological habit that I had to rewire.
I'll share what helped me, in case it helps you. Not sure what helped the most, but it always helped me to have one of these things to focus on.
- Rescue Remedy brand Rescue pastilles. I kept them by the bed and put one in my mouth when I woke up. The flower essences in them are supposed to calm you down, and it's nice to have something in your mouth to focus on.
- Mind games! Alphabet games (e.g. name someone I know whose name starts with every letter of the alphabet). Counting colors (even with the lights out, counting three red things in my room, three orange, etc. through the rainbow). Using senses (probably the most helpful - noticing five things I see, four things I feel, three things I hear, two things I smell, and one thing I taste).
- Tapping, also known as EFT. The sequence of points to tap is readily available in quick, free online videos. Tapping involves sending your body a reassuring message while also allowing any thoughts underlying your anxiety to come up and out.
- Crying. Tears actually contain cortisol and provide an exit for the chemicals produced by stress. It's a good thing to let it out.
- DNRS (Dynamic neural Retraining System). If you can sit through the training videos and commit to the practice, this is a helpful tool for retraining the limbic system.
- Curable (a mind-body app). Over time, this helps to unravel thought patterns that contribute to physical symptoms.
- Essential oils. I kept a handkerchief beside my pillow with drops of lavender, peppermint, frankincense, and myrrh on it (you might find different oils more helpful) and sniffed it deeply when I woke up feeling anxious, dizzy, panicked, etc. Helped a lot, and so simple.
- Acupressure points. Lots of websites about
these. The general idea is to hold the point for about
30 seconds hard enough that it's a tiny bit painful.
- Breathing exercises. Box breathing and 4-7-8 breathing can be helpful and grounding, and I'm sure there are a lot more.
Have you been able to remove mold exposure and treat for that yet? Any chance your bedding is contaminated?
It can be so discouraging to try for so long and feel like you are not seeing progress in your most upsetting symptoms yet. Wishing you some relief soon!