Borreliosis (Bart, Babesia, now Powassan, mycoplasma, relapsing fever) has sort of destroyed my life

Nothing like a good vent once in a while.

Many had their lives changed from tick infections and other illnesses (ones that are not curable). Thing is, there always people out there who have it worse off (and died) from many causes, we need to remind ourselves of this, it helps us endure this short time frame we call "life".

Life changes from low health are many besides basic happiness. Income, relationships to personal goals:

1)Income- can be challenging and always goes in cycles for me,...plus this crazy inflation is insane.

2)Relationships- I have zero interest in allowing "difficult/toxic or personally greedy personality types" in my life.Period. Dont have time for that nonsense.

3)Personal goals- some have many, some few with different levels of difficulty. I slowly achieved some of mine and stopped once I accomplished them. Some I achieved 90% of the way, and thats fine, plus; many healthy people dont even get that far. One dream I had, which I figured would never happen, actually did and still is one of the most happiest days of my life (was from "strong willed / refuse to give up desire", timed with a little luck). I put my physical health on the line to do that to (past athlete), and was in the hospital after, but it was worth it for the great memories. So that kind of made up for others that probably will not come true. I've accepted that, and those are no longer important to me as my natural time left on this rotating rock is increasingly getting shorter.

Some people had a great but shortened life. Not fair. I personally knew a few like that. The Eagles song "James Dean" from their third album, which I listened to a few night ago, reminded me of some individuals I personally knew in my younger years who didnt get to live past their second or third decade. Its hard to believe they left so soon. Some are still living, but now have major physical life changing/incurable health issues. These are a wide range of people from recent war vets, to past elite athletes, to average every day "Joes", to close relatives who stopped waking up (while still young).

For a few years in my forties, I figured I'd never wake up some morning, yet here I am I'm in my fifth decade already. And I was finally better a few years ago. But of course, as I age, new issues are on the horizon. I just had one scary one checked off the list after health testing. I slept better after that. For years with Lyme, I only slept 2-3 hrs a night, and sought out flex time jobs which allowed flex starting and lunch time (enough to drive away and nap in my vehicle during a long lunch). I can now sleep 5 hrs easily, 6 is possible but 7 is sometimes challenging. The suggested 8 usually makes me I feel like crap the next day..

I needed to "step down" my job roles to simpler ones in my forties with less stress. I never returned to that level. But then my income was less, so I started tinkering with some self employed part time side work, then found one that I could do using skills I already had.

Everyone needs to realize the importance of having multi-skill sets from a young age. Some are born with skills, some are learned. Older people grew up with this mind set, we usually learned this from our elders (they had no choice usually). Modern parents should teach their kids this (most prob dont), its a life-long survival skill along with the need to have a Plan B for everything, since Plan A is based on things going as planned.

Life is difficult. But adapting to its obstacles (these are achievements !), helps you get out out of bed in the morning.

As far as government, corporate and individual corruptness, its been around forever. All because of greed, which will some day, suddenly or slowly, end mankind as we know it. Hopefully not in our time. This is why I decided to never procreate a long time ago, mankind is going downhill and with less space to share. Evil people will unfortunately always be amongst us.

my thoughts are along the lines of astroman's

we can only play the hand of cards we are dealt

all energy spent wondering why we were dealt that hand and not some other, or who is to blame, or which hand we would rather have been dealt - is ultimately effort that takes away from our energy needed to fight this extremely challenging disease.

in the face of extreme challenges we can only fight on one front at a time

we wouldn't try to run a all consuming campaign for justice - while at the same time competing in an iron man event

fighting Lyme is a similar if not greater challenge - most of us typically struggle just to do the basics of looking after ourselves and enduring the treatment - so we need to focus our energies on where they will make the most difference

if, once we are well, we want to take up some demanding legal or political campaign - that's great.

in the mean time its entirely outside our realistic sphere of influence - so if we allow ourselves to expend much of our energy on things we have little opportunity to change but that continue to bring us huge amounts of frustration, anger, and despair, its an equation that doesn't really work, and will just act as a physical and emotional energy sink helping to keep us sick.

in my view - we have got to keep the focus on things we can change - put first things ( getting better) first - and avoid the rabbit holes that bring nothing to the task in hand.