Sorry you're having such a hard time. It sounds like you need some help w/the pain and with the stress -- they are two big issues, whether they are separate or not. I know that for years I thought my IBD was just how I responded to stress, but then at some point I had to say that the IBD had become the biggest source of stress in my life, and that other people who were just as stressed did not have blood in their stool etc.... of course, stress did not help my symptoms either....

Have you contacted your surgeon about the pain?

Are you taking any meds for depression/anxiety or have you seen a psychologist or other mental health person? Or maybe a stress reduction program? I went to one a few months before my surgery..... it didn't help at all w/my disease, but it really helped me cope better. Mostly what I got from it was starting meditation, and there was also some "cognitive restructuring" where we looked at distorted thinking patterns that make stressful situations worse.

Hang in....

Qwerty do you exercise? I find that exercise helps release anger and then feeling good from exercise opens up some space for other emotions.

Great that you went to the counselor -- that's taking good care of yourself, and hopefully the other docs can help too. And yes, a fun vacation is a great idea!

Hope things start to get better....