Feeling kind-of-guilty . . .

Hi all

Because this forum seems open and forthright . . . I will "spit this out." I've been wanting to write this for a few weeks.

I did very well during my two months from dx to surgery, and very well post surgery (except for the "flap" which caused the reinsertion of the catheter)

The dx caught me totally by surprise, I was bummed out for about one week . . . until I took a different approach, took charge and phoned the Mayo Clinic.

Post surgery I was very aggressive. Sure, I sat around for a few days in the recliner, even slept there a few nights.

The catheter drove me nuts . . . I experimented with different underwear types, different means and mechanisms to hold the tube to my leg with a minimum of movement. (it was only a "tube" when I was mad at it!). I worked to find the proper method of keeping it lubricated so I could be as normal as possible.

Once I got that problem solved, I did what I could to pick up where I left off . . .

I was walking up to five miles at a time.

With the docs permission I started "jogging" up stairs at a local ski area, worked up to 15 laps of 100 stairs (yes, 1500 at a time)

I found I could lift and carry a few things if I was very careful about balance . . . I worked very hard to not stress my abs., or put any undue strain on my internal repairs. It was all about weight balance, and lifting carefully with my legs, not my back or abs.

Yes . . . at about day 26 I even carefully cut the grass. It was very easy if I went slow, steady and carefully. The only issue was turning the mower around at the end of the rows . . . (because balance was hard to find).

Post catheter I had almost no continence issues. Part of me thinks this is because of the bike riding I do. When you ride a lot, and ride "properly," the bike is actually controlled by your legs . . . not really by your hands on the handlebars.

I have had little erectile issues.

I was back on my bike at day 42 . . . rode >50 miles that day . . . and nearly 1000 before snow shut me down for the winter.

I realize what is right, acceptable and appropriate for me may not be right for you . . . and vice versa.

Why am I writing this? For two reasons:

1) I think we are all capable of quick recovery if we are fit, and if we maintain "not necessarily a positive, but certainly not a negative attitude."

2) Most importantly . . . I often feel guilty when I read the posts of others.

Thanks for listening,
Rich

Rich, I share a bit of your "guilt" feelings. While not as spectacular a recovery as yours, the catheter has been gone for only one week and I am no longer using any pads. I have a very infrequent, unexpected drop or two but nothing visible or even uncomfortable. I'm beginning to believe that surgery is an art as much as it is a science and maybe I just lucked out and found a real artist.

Rich, you're an inspiration for maintaining good fitness! To those taking a longer path, hang tough and I wish you the best recovery in the shortest time.

Garth

RIch, positive there's no reason to feel guilty. I think most of us know by now how much PC affects us differently, both with treatments, post surgery, and side affects, and PC doesn't play by the game book very often. When I hear of a great story like yours, I promise, no jealously, I rejoice and am happy for you. To me, every little victory here is a victory for all of us in the fight. And when there's a negative event, I feel I share in that too. I am happy for you. I marvel at all you have done post surgery.

David in SC

Hey Rich, thanks for the post. Please do not feel guilty, I to agree that to some extent we can control our bodies ability to heal. I was at the hospital a few weeks ago and met a man my age with pretty much identical cancer, however I noticed a huge difference. I was bouncing off the walls with energy and enthusiasm and he was barely getting around. He was emotionally defeated. We all are effected in different ways. Us positive folks need not feel guilty however we do need to be a comfort and support to those that cannot get past the emotional aspects of having cancer. Together we can all make a difference.

peace and love
dale

Hi Rich,

No need to feel guilty, and I hope you continue to a full recovery.

We are all different and the treatment we recieve varies. You have had a very good outcome thus far.

Please continue to let us know.

Scott