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Question about the emotional side of PCa?

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Posted 3/7/2009 10:39 AM (GMT -5)
I'm new to this forum.
My question is more one about the emotional aspects than the condition of prostate cancer itself.

I have been friends with a man for years.. and really cared but never said anything... I just found out he has to undergo prostate cancer surgery very soon.

This has really shaken me up, and made me realize how much I do care about this person, and how attracted I am to him. What if something happens, and I have never told him.

This has given me the push to tell him.

So do I tell him now, or would that be unfair given what he is going through....


Added a subject to this thread to allow for indexing and future searching options. James C.

Post Edited By Moderator (James C.) : 3/7/2009 9:07:12 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/7/2009 12:40 PM (GMT -5)
PC is very individual and how people accept it vary all over the map. Only you know your friend's state of mind. I would think that just knowing you support him no matter what the outcome would be a tremendous benefit to his emotional well being.
JohnT

Edited byy Moderator ~ TC-LasVegas

 John, your signature is messed up again and has extreme amount of spaces.  It's worse than ever.  if you need help let me know. 

Post Edited By Moderator (TC-LasVegas) : 3/7/2009 12:43:40 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/7/2009 2:43 PM (GMT -5)

Any type of cancer can carry with it a plethera of emotions. Doesn't matter if you are a fighter, caregiver or friend each person has their own way of dealing with the emotional and spiritual aspects of the life changing news. Not knowing the dynamics of the relationship you have with this person it would be unfair for me to make any suggestions. I take seriously the emotional and spiritual counseling I do through my church. Things to consider though are this, do you or this man have other committed relationships? If you have not expressed your feelings in the past, why now? I think at this stage just being close and supportive would be more important than springing what could be unwelcome news. Take it slow, be attentive, and when and if the situation arises for the relationship to take a different tone I think you would know.

If you would like to discuss this more please email me.

peace and love

dale

Posted 3/7/2009 2:48 PM (GMT -5)
Each has given great advice. Your friend needs to know about his disease before he starts with the treatments. Why don't you direct him here? We will be glad to help each and every step of the way.

For me emotions ran high in the beginning. And just like in business, emotions can really be a negative. I am glad that I understood what I was getting into, because if you think emotions are high now, try not knowing and finding things out after you took an irreversible action. I am doing well and I am coping well. Even though I have advanced prostate cancer I am well educated about where we are with treatment. That is where your friend should be.

Tony
Posted 3/7/2009 6:42 PM (GMT -5)
exploring, welcome here, hope we can be a help to you and your friend in any way possible.

I am very in tune with the emotional side of PC and other major illnesses and diseases, so I can answer your question straight forward. Without knowing the history or details, if I were him, and your feelings were positive, honest, and from the heart, not out of sympathy, I would welcome them. I would not have wanted to deal with my PC alone in this world, if this is the case with your friend. I have a loving, supportive wife of almost 35 years, and a close network of adult age children and friends. This has helped me immensely through this ordeal, and still does on a daily basis. To me, your honesty and sincerity would be the deciding factor if I were him. But then, I am an old school softy romantic fool, what do I know, lol. Good luck.

David in SC
Posted 3/25/2009 12:24 PM (GMT -5)
tongue  open    HONEST    COMMUNICATION tongue    Believe me or not, he's going to need someone to lean on....for quite some time to come.

Good luck to you both.

Posted 3/25/2009 1:51 PM (GMT -5)

You state that your friend needs prostate surgery and this has shaken you up and made you realize "how attracted I am to him." You wonder if you should tell him and express concern about the emotional aspects of prostate cancer.

Whose emotions are we talking about here? How does all this help him.Sounds to me like you want to get it on now in case he can't later-- nothing wrong with that, but  "Dear Abby" seems like a more appropiate place for you.

  

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