What do you say?

Hi everyone, just wondering, many times when I meet new men, (and I do meet a lot within the lawn bowls game) I bring up the subject of Pca and tell my story and stress the importance of testing and dre, I get perplexed when I am asked "are you cured " of course I say no, so in my situation I guess I have to say that I HAVE Pca, not I HAD Pca.

What do you say when asked? you HAD Pca or HAVE Pca, just interested to know.

Regards Mal.

I simply keep that information to myself. It is not fodder for casual discussion.
To family and very close friends that absolutely need to know I just say: "I had the walnut taken out a couple of months ago. I feel fine. I even went jogging this morning. I am a lucky guy."
Very, very close friends, my wife, and you guys know I still wear pads.
Like my toothbrush or a Peanut butter cup, there are some things I do not share with others.

If I absolutely have to talk about PCa then I would use the third person. "I know a guy who..." But that situation has not arisen.

Mal, interesting question.  Actually, the subject of PCa comes up fairly frequently in discussions as I have been quite open about my disease so guys seem comfortable asking about it.  With one in six men getting it, most of my cohorts (who are in their 60's) are quite interested in the subject.

As I consider your question, I think my response is generally that I HAD PCa.  Maybe that is because I have no SE's, am not dealing with any resultant issues and believe in my own little head that it is a past issue.  However, when asked, "Am I cured?", I generally answer, "I hope so, but will never know for sure until they do my autopsy in 30 years".  Then I tell them that I will have annual PSA tests that will be my indicator.

Tudpock

Mal,

Glad your bowling team guys went and got checked, sorry they came back with a PC dx, but more importantly it has now been caught.
I will never understand how anybody could possibly object with a clear conscience to early testing, even if it is just at the PSA level.

I am trying to talk a long time business friend of mine, aged 64, into getting tested. He is self employed, no health insurance, but financially ok. His father and two uncles died of PC. He knows all the details of my journey and is concerned, but not concerned enough to get tested. I have even offered to pay for the test. Part of it, he claims is because of his Morman faith, he will only see a Morman doctor, which in my neck of the woods would be hard to find. I think it's a classic case of being in denial. If he doesn't get tested, then he simply won't know.

There's only so much I can do as his friend. But I fear for him later being in a very advance case situation. The rest of his health history is pretty decent for the age.

Since I have no platform to reach the masses, I will just try to continue what I am doing, is to work with people that naturally cross my path in life, and are willing to listen to one's mans journey. In this case mine.

Despite the other medical maladies I have endured and survived in my life, Prostate Cancer has changed me forever.

My best to you ,brother.

David in SC

Hi Mal, interesting question.

I don't hide it from anyone. I'm totally deaf in my left ear. Thanks to some sort of inner ear blow up I lost my hearing in that ear five years ago. In five minutes it was gone. I don't make a secret of that, and I don't make a secret of the PCa. I find it's better to get the elephant in the room named, and then move on.

When people ask me if I'm cured I tell them my doctor says I've a 90% to 95% chance it will never bother me again, "and so I'm going with those odds --- cure is the "C" word cancer patients like to hear!"

I find by answering the questions with a smile, and a laugh, it's no big deal.

Sheldon AKA Sleepless

My status if asked or the subject comes up->Prostate Cancer SURVIVOR 

Hi Mal,

I have learned to distinguish the difference between a general, polite inquiry as to my health and a genuine desire to gather information. When the nature of the question is in the fomer vein I usually reply that my PCa is in remission and being successfuly managed. In the later of the two it generally results in a more in depth discussion of diagnosis, significance of numbers (PSA, GS, Staging), diagnostic tests and treatment options. Some men (and women) genuinely want to know the detail. I share it in the hopes that I might cause another to seek early intervention.

Best to you,
Don

Greetings, Mal.  I have been very open with friend, family and colleagues - mainly because I have tried to encourage any one I can to get tested.  I usually say that with most cancers you have to monitor it closely for 5 years.  I believe I am cancer free but we won't know until later - in the mean time I'm a cancer survivor and grateful for it.  David