a few thoughts

Hi, I am feeling something that I have not felt in 4 years past coping with Pca. I think this beacause my PSA has risen sharply from 0.7 to 1.31 in the last 6 months, I have this feeling of doom & gloom.

This is strange to me, as for the past 4 years, have just got on with my life, but now feel that I have an uncertain future, commonsense tells me that I may have quite a few more years, but the sudden rise has really rocked my boat.

I am seeing my Oncologist tomorrow, maybe I will feel a bit better about things after I have spoken to him, don't get me wrong, have not dropped my bundle, still doing all the normal things, but as I say, feeling strange.

Mal.

mal, my friend, wish i could help you lift that feeling of dread and gloom. i went through a period after all my srt troubles and its eventual failure, and now with a rapidly rising PSA (5.8 and climbing), i finally reached the point where i came to peace with the entire PC thing in my life. i no longer sweat or fear upcoming PSA tests, that is why i was able to agree with my new oncologist to wait a full 6 months for my next one.

like you, we both did surgery, and srt, and it hasn't worked. sure you have the same options as i do currently, to do HT now, or wait it out and perhaps do HT later. My oncologist strongly is of the school to wait later to trigger the HT. Don't want to start that fight all over again here, but its safe to say the medical community is divided strongly on the subject

if i could bottle up how i came to this sense of peace, i would sent it to you in an instant, but its a horrible feeling to feel the way you currently do.

if i don't die because of an accident or some new medical malady i am unaware of, i fully expect PC to take me out. i realize that i could die in my sleep tonight, one never knows. it doesn't bother me knowing what i just said, as i know that something will end my life one day. i am not ready by choice to check out today, lol, but will not ever let PC control my thoughts and being.

if you ever want to talk more about it, be happy to supply you my number by e-mail.

hope you can shake your current funk soon, the good parts of life pass one by when you allow something like this to get a hold of your true self.

david in sc

maldugs said...


Funny also I feel good physically, I cut, chopped and loaded 2 ton of firewood last week, not bad for an old boy.

Mal.

Dayum! Not bad at all!! Feel better buddy, we all get that feeling some time or another. For me, just venting helps. Then reading about some ole guy chopping and loading 2 tons of wood doesnt, LOL.

Mal,

You have my empathy as I am in the same boat. Just restarted the HT. It was a bummer session with the doctor. When I got home I had a sort of gloom about me. Lasted a few days. Like you, I feel fit as a fiddle and recently lost 12 of the 22 labs I gained on the last round of HT. I hope to stay ahead of the HT this time and keep up my exercise and physical activity. I got through the gloominess by telling myself that I feel fine, I am still able to do the things I like, and, even though I may not like it, there is a treatment to slow things down. (HT)

Let's hope your oncologist has some encouraging news for you. 

Don