Recent PSA results and a little rant

Three and one half years ago I had robotic radical prostectomy at Brigham & Women's Hospital in Boston. So today please join me in raising a glass to celebrate my recent PSA results of .01. When I saw the results in print, I almost cried, which was weird because I had no PSA anxiety this time around, and I have had good numbers since surgery. I thought I was over that emotional stuff, but I guess not yet. I think it's a feeling of relief and gratitude that contributes to the emotion.

There are some additional and personal things I'd like to share, if you folks don't mind. Back in 2009, I left my urologist where I live for a more experienced surgeon in Boston. No regrets with that decision; however, since that surgeon has now left New England for the West coast, I don't have a urologist anymore. I think I need one because I have issues that need attention. First off, my lovely wife and I don't have sex very often anymore. For two reasons I believe. Both related to the surgery. My erections are not actually erect enough to get the job done. I don't have pills or anything else to help matters. My wife of over 40 years doesn't seem very interested anymore, despite us formerly having a healthy and frequent sex life. I don't blame her because the few times we actually have had sex, I ended up squirting urine on her! That's something no one mentioned to me may happen before surgery. I discovered it actually has a medical name. Climacturia! It's something supposedly about half of radical prostectomy patients experience. News to me! This is an unresolved issue for us for sure. While she seems content to live life now like a nun, I remain frustrated. A new urologist may have to be in my future to help me deal with ED and climacturia.

I really don't think we and our partners are given enough information or counseling about all the side effects that happen after most treatment options. If we knew what to expect before treatment, it would be much easier to deal with than having little or no information about the side effects that many of us end up dealing with. This from a guy who researched the daylights out of every treatment option before deciding!
With hindsight, if I had been a Gleason 6 and not a 7 like I was, I would not have had the surgery, or any other treatment! I would have changed my lifestyle greatly, which I have successfully done and watch it like a hawk. I know that statement is controversial, but it is how I feel. I may be approaching cancer-free status, but my quality of life is not as good as it was and not as good as I had hoped it would be at this stage of the game. Feel free to comment.
Peace!

red hawk

i feel your pain.
you feel you conquered one evil but now dealing with functional issues has taken away some of the joys of life.

i'm not sure i can help much except to let you know you are not alone.

i am 3 months from my LARP and am just starting to gain some control over leaking. sex is still a hope for the future, both erection-wise and spouse-wise for me. the stress of this diagnosis has drained our energy and libido.

but, the tales told here have given me confidence and strength to know i will get through these issues somehow. but i also know that part of the story hasn't been written yet.

but again, you and i are in the zero club and i remind myself daily , that is a good club to be in!

that being said, i know you will find a better urology team that will help (of course along with your buds here on HW) to solve your current issues.

keep your chin up and keep plugging.
we are listening.

dave

Thanks for the replies. Jerry, I hope I didn't sound like an ungrateful winer, because that sure was not my intention. Trust me, I know I'm one of the lucky ones. I read this forum and others and it is clear to me that I dodged a big time bullet back in 2009. I thank God every single day for His blessings, so please know I didn't mean to sound like such a complainer if that was what it seemed like. Thanks again to Jerry, Dave, and Tigerfan for the encouragement, support, and the time it took to reply to my postings. Peace!

First thing I'd do is find a new Uro and try some ED drugs....they work for me and Im a gleason 9 whose on Hormone therapy. Try getting an erection when theres no brain stimulation because of being chemically castrated....its not easy. But you never know...you may have great success with Viagra or Levitra. Ive had both and Viagra seems to work best...most insurances will cover it...at least so many pills per month.

As far as them not telling you all the SEs....I know how that feels...I had the same experiences. Not sure why they don't do this...they make it sound like the drug or treatment is a snap and kinda trivial. Probably because most of them have never tried it themselves.

Nighthawk,

While it sounds like a good idea to find a new urologist to see if anything can be done about your climacturea, you don't need to wait to start trying to deal with your ED issues. Your regular doctor can fix you up with prescriptions (and sometimes samples) for PDE5i drugs (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc.) and you can be trying those while you look for a new uro. Then, if the pills don't work you can talk to you new urologist about injections.

If you can achieve an erection but can't maintain it, or it isn't quite enough to get the job done, then the pills are likely to help. If the pills don't work then injections almost certainly will.

As we get older our wives take their cues for sex more and more from us. They enjoy sex because they know it makes us happy and makes their relationships with us stronger, more intimate and more satisfying. That's as long as it works for us. But when something like prostate cancer or ED shakes a man's confidence, then sex becomes less rewarding for his wife-- because they know it only makes him miserable and frustrated, and because it puts a strain on the relationship. They become like mirrors that reflect our own sexuality back at us and a man who has lost his confidence doesn't like what he sees.

So my advice is to get the pills, the shots, and whatever it takes to get the equipment back in order and to work on your head, too. Practice saying the word "climacturea" with a Monthy Python british accent. Use it in a sentence "Sorry m'dear, bit of climacturea there, what? Let me get you a towel."

Hawk, I took a 5 month trip across the country last summer/fall. I was doing rehab with the pills during the trip. Then I met someone special 1000 miles away from home. Having already done the research about Bimix and/or Trimix, I knew I wanted a Uro that did the first injection in the office. So I called 3 Uros to find out who could do the first injection on the first appointment, because I was leaving the area soon. It was no problem. I had an appointment in a few days and the rest is history. Most Uro's practice ED treatment, so you should not have any concerns about finding one to help you out.

PeterDisAbelard said...

Use it in a sentence "Sorry m'dear, bit of climacturea there, what? Let me get you a towel."

Yep, been there, said that...

Thanks for the laugh Startech. That 'use it in a sentence' thing was funny. Jerry, we're good! Thanks for the replies. 98', I think I feel your pain. Our wives seem much alike. My next step is to solve the climacturea or it's a non-starter with my lovely wife. Then I need to score some pills from either a uro or online. I'll see how it goes from there. I know there is plenty of help out there. I just need to get over some shyness and take advantage of the help. You guys have been great. thanks.