Am I a survivor?
That's the question on my mind tonight.
It came to mind because today my wife had signed up to be in a "Relay for Life" walk with a women's group from our church. My wife has lost a number of family members to cancers so wanted to support the cause. Naturally, being the caring, considerate and supportive husband I am (sorry ladies, I am already taken), I said I'd walk with her (even though she pick 12:00 noon for the first hour and 8:00 am for the second hour).

At the opening ceremony for this thing they have a 'survivors' lap where all the cancer survivors and their care takers get to take a victory lap around the track. I did the lap with my wife.

but

I don't feel like a survivor and felt weird taking the lap. The sword of re-occurrence still hangs up there and frankly I don't feel like I've been through that much. I've had a few blood tests, had a linear accelerator pointed at me for six weeks and the worst I can say now is that my hemorrhoids are a little worse and there is this ED thing that bothers me from time to time.

I guess I view a survivor as someone who's really suffered or really come close to dying or at the least did some brave like thing to still be alive.

Talking to some of the folks and seeing what they went through made me feel I wasn't really in their class - that I was just a guy that had a little problem and life is fine now.

So, do you feel like a survivor? What is a survivor?

Likely I shouldn't post this but it's been weighing on my mind for awhile now.

A better plan is likely to delete this, get a beer and head out the shop,
Andrew

I think it's a fair question, but i look at it from the opposite point of view. For my husband - yes and no. Technically he's not a survivor, because it's been a downhill journey these last bit and will continue to be; but, in a sense he is, because he has kept up the fight and amazes people.

I have no problem, personally, using the survivor word. I have already survived 3 serious cancer bouts with my Porocarcinoma events. And I am five years (almost) into my PC journey. Guess it depends how one defines the word "survivor" and in what context they use the word.

In the world of cancer patients in general, the term is often used. But it's definitely subjective for sure.

I am glad you are still here, surviving.

david

I do the survivor's lap at my local Relay for Life. I have no problems with the term. I am fighting continuing disease. When it, or something else, kills me, I won't be a survivor. Easy logic.

yes I am a *survivor.

ed

 

I am a survivor. The way I see it if I'm not dead I am surviving this thing. True I have had a relatively smooth ride there are little issues (pun intended) there is always the chance for problems.

I celebrate being a survivor at this time.

Cajun Jeff

A few thoughts....

The word survivor conjures up images of war, of combatants, and of innocent victims, as well as survivors of natural disasters or other uncontrollable events. Survivor also implies a level of completeness with the event. Individuals that are currently experiencing an earth quake, for example, are generally not referred to as survivors.

I am not comfortable with the war analogy. And while I do not take responsibility for causing my body to have cancer, I don't believe that a condition that such a large portion of the male population will encounter in their lifetimes can be described as a natural disaster or an uncontrollable event. Face it, if you are a man, and you live long enough, your chances of joining this group get pretty high.

My cancer is in my body. I am not at war with it, I am treating it with the help of my medical team so that I can improve the health of my body and increase the probability of my body living longer. One of my neighbor's had a close family member pass recently. He was hit by a car while riding his bike. He was 45 years old. I could die from an accident, just as he did, but I don't think of my self as being at war with oncoming traffic, nor do I consider my self a survivor each time I return from a walk, or a ride, or a run.

Cancer entered my life less than a year ago, and it will be with me forever. I may, as someone pointed out earlier, string together < after < after <. To then declare myself a survivor denies something we all know (that those test results don't rule out my cancer eventually being the cause of the death of my body). To declare myself a survivor seems premature. Maybe the only time you can declare yourself a survivor is when your body dies from something other than PC. Kind of silly to make that declaration then.

Our language, at times, makes it challenging to discuss this thing called life and our society's fear of death. The word survivor portrays each of us a valiant, gallant nights of the round table recently returned from a desperate battle with an evil demon. The reality is we, or I should speak for myself, I am regular guy making his way through this life who was thrown a curve ball. I'm no hero. I'm still as flawed as I was before my diagnosis. If others see me as brave, then I ask "what is the alternative?" I get up every day and do as I have always done, live each day to the fullest, grateful for the time in this wondrous experiment called the human experience.

Survivor, no, not yet. Should my body die from something other than PC, then award me the "survivor" title posthumously.

And always remember those most famous of quotes attributed to whole host of people, including Jim Morrison from the Doors,...

"Don't take life too seriously, remember, no one gets out alive!"


Peace, fellow "survivor" candidates.

Pat

Got to admit I felt a bit odd about the whole Relay for Life thing. I had no plans to attend, but my wife kept pushing me. Wore the shirt and walked the lap. Felt like I was being made to put myself on display although I prefer to keep my private life private. All through this ordeal it is still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that I have/had cancer. When I am sick, like when I had bronchitis I knew it because I felt bad but with Prostate Cancer I have never felt sick and yet here I am having one of my organs cut out and I feel fine. When I was diagnosed my wife insisted we wear wristbands and put lighted candles in the window as a constant reminder that I have PC. And when my post op PSA was 0...well the wristbands were put away and the candles were extinguished as if the story has ended. And of course we all know it hasn't. Every six months I will be reminded there is a possibility the cancer has returned. So I guess I am a cancer survivor....until I am not.

I've survived 67 years on this planet. Many things could have killed me during that time, PC is just one of them. I plan to live until I die, then I'll stop being a survivor.

Really interesting thread...!

Coincidentally, I talked about this very thing with my family at dinner last night. We were chatting about the challenges of the past few months - the diagnosis, the period leading up to the surgery, and the events of the couple of weeks since - and it occurred to me to say: "I suppose I'm a cancer survivor now."

Yes, we can always find someone to point to who has had it worse than we have. But in my mind, anyone who has heard the words "I'm sorry, but you have cancer," has struggled to come to a decision about a treatment plan, has undergone surgery, radiation, chemo, or any other kind of therapy they would not otherwise have had to endure - this does in fact put us in a different category than those who have not had this experience.

So maybe "survivor" isn't the right word - but I do feel like I have been through something significant, whatever you want to call it. A close friend of mine, who has lived with a chronic disease for over 20 years, keeps telling me not to let myself slip back into my old way of thinking...but to use this experience as an opportunity to appreciate life more fully. I'm not a particularly religious person...but I do have to say...amen to that.

Doug

Could not have said it better Ralph.

I'm just a guy who was diagnosed and treated after a prostate cancer diagnosis. My feelings toward the term "cancer survivor" vary, but at the present time, I feel that the term is too defining. Those experiences don't define who I am.

Three years after diagnosis I'd be alive even if not treated. In the past, I've said that the only thing I've survived at this point is the prostatectomy operation.

There are a lot of guys on this site who deserve the term "survivor." They have been, and still are, engaged in a real battle with the disease. At this point, I don't feel that I qualify, though who knows what the future might bring.

It just so happened that the day I got diagnosed was the day of our local Relay for Life. I got home before the wife and had not told her my news yet. She got home and came in through the door saying she just didnt feel like going to the Relay. She had thyroid cancer herself and also our choir was going to perform at the event, but she was just too pooped to pop. I told her that we had to go so I could get my free shirt. She quickly informed me that I didn't get the shirt she did for being a survivor. No sooner had she got it out of her mouth when she realized what I meant. She then looked me straight in the eye and said "You can't get a shirt because you are not a survivor yet." I told her simply that "I got cancer and I ain't dead. I getting me a shirt."

So we can call it whatever we want, but I get a new shirt once a year.