mjluke - sounds nice, but no fraternity is as thick as the associations of attorney's. I spent over 3 decades of my life working with every kind of corporate legal matters, and it would do no good, to go after the lawyers that I felt bungled my case and/or wasted my time. wish it were that easy, and it still wouldn't renew my statute of limitations.
what's happening with me, particularly the past year with all my physical decline, some of my fight is ebbing out of me. I have to choose wisely now, what I am willing to fight or not fight. I can't go after things where I know there is little hope of a positive outcome. got to save my strength, what little is left for bigger fish.
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Bill,
I don't see what Mel posts, so I have no idea what he said or didn't say. I trust my oncologist completely, he has taken excellent care of me the past almost 3 years. When he feels its time to initiate either chemo or HT, then we will do it. Not going to do it based on some emotional reaction. What he has bought me, was 3 years of some semblance of quality of life, though greatly diminished. And I have enough other issues going on to keep me busy. I jumped the gun on SRT, that in the end, was a waste of time and money, and left me with a very broken body and totally disabled.
I have no intention of jumping the gun this time around, and I don't want any additional reduction of QOL issues unless I absolutely have to. People should respect that, instead of push their own personal agenda on me or implying my doctor is anything less than a great doctor. (Not saying you or anyone else in particular is doing that, just a general statement).
While any ultimate medical decision is mine to make, I have invested time in putting together this team of doctors and specialists. And we are working it as a team thing, and I like that approach. When and if to pull the trigger, is something my oncologist is very skilled with. He has invested a lot of time on my very complicated case of medical matters, far more than an average doctor ever would. I will be compliant to him, unless, and this is unlikely, highly, that he asked me to do something that is just plain foolish or nuts. Already fell for that once when I listened to the RO that told me that she had my empty bladder issue covered. We all know how well that worked out. Not. And I am not going to jump my doctor's advisement, based on me suddenly getting a case of the fears. I make my decisions based on logic, not emotion. When/if the time comes, fully confident he will quickly suggest a course of action. In a letter he recently drafted to the VA in Washington, he clearly spelled out a future course of action when it becomes needed. I think too many here are getting spooked (not a racial intent) by my, and their own PSA numbers. My doctor told me from the start, that my actual number no longer serves much purpose to him or t o me, and this is why we only do limited PSA tests. And when I think of guys here that fall apart because their PSA jumps from .002 to .003, not sure t hey would be able to handle knowing they had a post treatment PSA of 80.x and rising. Some would go out of their mind, and that's when people can make treatment mistakes, or get treatments prematurely. It's well known here, that I honestly do not suffer any type of PSA anxiety. I didn't when I was dx, I didn't when I was treated, and I continue not to be concerned about it. It is what it is, plain and simple.
From the start of my PC journey, my case has followed all the tenents of High PSA Velocity Cases, truly a poster child for those doctors that feel strongly about that. My urologist from the start knew this, and at every juncture of my journey, it has been proven to be true. My goal isn't to live as long as I can, its to live as comfortable as I can - for as long as I can. I am living my life my way, to the best of my diminishing abilities. Getting all my ducks lined up for the future.
Not ready to die (least not right this second, lol), but I have no fear about that part when my time comes. I have had a pretty good life, did a lot of what I wanted to do (no one gets it all). The only thing that matters to me can be simply summed up.
My Catholic faith, my wife, my kids and grandchildren - that's what I care about. Anything else to me is becoming more and more a mute point. And thanks to the VA, even my financial concerns for my wife's future without me have been taken care of. Anything else I get or do, will be frosting on the proverbial cake at this point. I am thankful for everything that I have. Very happy with all of my current medical team - the most important part about that - is that I know in my heart, they truly care about me and what I am suffering through, plus their level of skill and experience of course.
While the pain part sucks (trust me, there's no way one gets use to constant pain), I am a pretty content person. I still literally worry about nothing, and I mean nothing. I enjoy one day at the time. I do the best I can, working with what I have. What more could a guy want?
You mention Sonny. I agree that Sonny did the right thing for him, at the right time. He bought all the time he could safely buy up to the point, also working with a good medical team and doctors. I respect his personal decision. And I pray and hope that he does well as "Sonya", lol. And like me, he has a wonderful wife to help him through what lies ahead. That's a huge asset to all of us guys blessed with a good spouse. I feel for the men that have to go through this stuff alone, that would be a much tougher deal for sure.
You haven't stepped over any bounds, I don't really have any "lines in the sand". I only asked to be respected, as I respect all others here. No one should ever be openly critical of anyone's treatment or non-treatment choices. That is for each man to decide for himself, plain and simple.
Thanks for your care and concern.
David
Post Edited (Purgatory) : 2/21/2014 9:28:24 AM (GMT-7)