Sad news to report

My mother died last night at approx. 630 EST.  My brother and SIL spent 10 1/2 hours with her in the local hospital yesterday.  Supposedly she was there for badly impacted bowels.  We have had problems with this hospital before, they mis-diagnosed her on another issue 2 months ago, and sent her home, missing what was wrong with her, and she was right back in the hospital the very next day - ended up spending 5 days in the hospital and over a month in a re-hab center.  She had only been back home about 2 weeks when this happened.

So they "cleaned" her out, said her impacted area was the size of a baseball, gave her some diludid, and sent her home.  Despite doing a CT scan, they said she had no other issue.  My brother got her safely to bed, and left for the evening.  I didn't visit her last night, we decided  she needed sleep more than a visit.  I agreed.

My wife and I spent about an hour with her late Sunday, Mother's Day, and she seemed in slightly better spirits, and a tiny uptick in health.

Apparently, she died unexpectedly less than an hour after my brother left her apartment.  Her morning nursing staff found her body this morning, half in, or half out of bed.  At some point, she woke up, used her walker to go to the toilet, and never made it all the way back in bed.

I would like to think that the stress of all she underwent was too much for her diabetes weakened heart.  However, the coroner said there was enough evidence to warrant something out of wack, so a full autopsy was done today, results pending.  Her stomach was completely full of blood.  So there's more to this story.

Funeral arrangements are being made.  She was just shy of 88 years old.  And she outlived my father by 22 years.  She was born in London in 1927, and went through all of WW2 in London through the bombings.  She became a war bride when she married my father, an American sailor, in 1949.  She didn't even become a US citizen until around 1965, I remember the ceremony.

I knew she wasn't well, but it took all of us by total surprise in the suddenness of her death.  I feel a deep hole that will never be filled again.  I accept the reality of her death, but the finality aspect is still hard to grasp.  I would visit her at least 2x a week on my own.  She only lived about 1/4 mile or so from me, and then we would visit with her every weekend.

 

Hi Purgatory,

There are never enough or the right type of words to express the type of condolences one would like to give at this time. I lost my father around the same time I was diagnosed around 8 weeks ago. The toughest few weeks of my life.
One thing I can say is how I almost feared the funeral, however it ended up being a real celebration of his life and actually gave my spirits an enormous lift. I hope this is the same for you.

My thoughts are with you.

Regards
Greg

I feel so bad for you and your family. My condolences.

Very sorry, David.  May perpetual light shine upon her, and may she rest in peace.

Sorry for your loss David. Will be thinking of your family.

So sorry to hear of your sudden loss, David. No matter the situation, nothing is quite like loosing a parent, and I imagine it's particularly difficult given the somewhat mysterious nature of what you describe. May your faith comfort you in these troubled times.

Peace.

my condolences on your loss.

It's never easy to lose a loved one.

You and your family are in my prayers.

Peace,
Andrew

So sorry David.

I only learned late last year, that she had been adopted. Her birth mother had given her up, and finally explains why she was 25 years younger than her only brother. I was the last to find out, as I am not a naturally nosy person. One of my brothers dug around and found out, and broadcast it to the world, which angered her greatly at the time. Can't say I blame her.

David,

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think it matters what age we are, when we lose our parents we feel like orphans. Mother's hold such a special place in our hearts, and really they give us things that no one else can. I know you will handle this, but please take time to grieve.

Deanna

thanks folks, now that its late, nearly 1 AM, totally burned out, tired, but unable to sleep. Entering the dark hours. My wife will be off for a week, she was taking 2 PTO days off, originally we were going to spend 4 days at our RV site, but obviously, plans have changed, then her work allowed her 3 days funeral leave.

glad she has been here all day with me. would have been harder dealing with the shock and awe part of this alone, as normally she is at work from about 2 PM till midnight or later. Her mother died when she was only 31 years old, 29 years ago, but the hurt is still there. She spent 41 years with my mother around, 10 years longer than she spent with her own mother. In my opinion, she's been a great daughter in law, and being a nurse, was totally empathetic with my mother's woes and needs over the years. I know my mother appreciated her care and advice over the years. My wife is feeling a sense of loss too, through my own grief.

My grand kids, age 13 and 10, were told by my DIL after they got home from school. The oldest, my granddaughter, took it hardest. They knew my mother as "Little Grandma", because my mother was only 4'11" tall and never weighed much over 95 lbs. Fortunately, they still have a full set of grandparents on my DIL side. They were even born when my father was alive. Let me correct that, my mother was their great grandmother, I forgot I was the grandfather, sorry, been a long day. She was the only surviving great grand parent left prior to her death.

David,

There is so much good about what you've said. Grand and great-grand children knew her. It happened in a moment, rather than being a drawn out abyss of pain. Family was near in the hours before. She did her volunteer work. She talked to her kids / grands.

We should all be so lucky.

As always, my best to you and your family. It is a different "best", as i'll stop to light a candle for her as I do my errands tomorrow, but Mom is Mom, and nothing I can say will help.

Be strong.

David,

I'm so sorry to hear this. What a shock this must be! And what a hole it leaves in your heart.

- Allen