let me tell ya what I think Pratoman.
(although my opinion's uneducated....those will be along later...
...so do with it what you will
) ....or tell you...rather....about
myself and my experience
When I was in the throes of my saga.....(lasted about
a year....close to it...counting stricture work, DVT blood thinner... kidney stones...which, btw....trace blood can be a common symptom of...)
When I'm in *that* "mode" (if you will...which you may be.....considering your eminent test...which is *extremely* anxiety producing).....
My anxiety manifests itself....physically. I begin to think about
my ailments. And when I begin to think about
my ailments....I go to doctors. And when I go to doctors...I get copies of *everything*.....because....what I do with them is....I bring them home...and I go over them..every sheet of paper. I go over every bit of blood work....line by line....making sure nothing's even close. I google every single thing that could be even remotely considered to be.....close to being....borderline. And I look that up. The last time I was in your headspace....Prat, I had paperwork on my desk, floor, computer desk....I'd had so many blood tests....that....I had them spread out....3 or 4....comparing them for "trends". And then I'd think to myself...."Ya know.....I had some blood drawn 6 months ago. Where is that sheet? And I'd find it....so I could look at it and compare....to see...what if anything....was changing....and in what direction...and I'd look that up...to see what it *could* be. It filled my mind with stuff that....to be honest....wasn't the problem. The problem *I* had was....I was....for lack of a better term prat....traumatized....from all that was going on...not only in the physical realm....but in the emotional. It gave me a sense of control (I think). It made me *not* feel....because...as long as I was "on the hunt" (so-to-speak)....the emotions of anxiety, fear, and no control....would eat at me....to the point...that....it felt as if...I was missing something..that could possibly .... kill me.
I'm not saying that's what this is. I'm not saying that there's not something wrong with you that's gonna raise it's ugly head and make you wish you'd never been born. What I *am* saying is....that's where I've been with this stuff....(and probably....at some point...will be again...although I don't know that). But...right *now*....without the pressure of having been in the hospital lately (which for a year....I could never say...."I've not been in the hospital lately".....but you can....plus this ****ing disease....that in our case...wasn't a slam dunk....(which I hate for you....as I do for myself)....because...it's never far away...even though we push it away....and have reprieves. But you really have been sick lately....*go to the hospital* kinda sick....and that....along with this other crap....is enough...or has been with me anyway (I used to be ashamed to admit...but now...you've helped me to overcome my .... umm...*embarrassment*?.
And thank YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME PRAT!
you understand...in some special way....you just have *that* ability prat....whatever *that* is
I think you'll live. But then again....that just shows how much *I* know.
Good luck man...and again....thanks for bein' you