OT: Gripes about posts

I've been a member for more than a year now, and a fairly active one at that. My sense is that until the last few weeks, it was rare for one member to call out another publicly for a violation of HW rules. Recently, however, and sadly, imo, this behavior has come into vogue.

A public callout should be the last resort. The first move should be to go for a nice long walk, then come back and revisit the offending post after one has had a chance to cool down, and see whether it's really worth saying something about. Second, if the blood's still boiling, should be to send an e-mail to one or more moderators and voice your complaint to them. That's what they're there for. They may not have seen the post that's offending you, or may not have thought it crossed the line. But I'm sure they'd be happy to lend an ear to a member who feels offended by a post.

Maybe it's just me, but I find public callouts of others' alleged bad forum etiquette to be, well, bad forum etiquette. It always makes my heart sink, even if I agree with the caller-outer.

My two cents.

There tends to be a predictably unpredictable pattern to forum posts over time. The forum heats up over an edgy post, people get their tails in a twist, then things cool down again.

A man known for his calm unflappable demeanor was asked how he stayed so contented and even-keeled. He replied, 'I never argue with anyone' His interlocutor saId , That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. After a long pause, the other responded, 'You may be right'

Yes, the Ignore button is a friend. I've been considering adding myself to my Ignore list. Remembering not to take myself seriously solves many problems

Post Edited (Tim G) : 10/9/2018 11:38:35 AM (GMT-6)

Logos, for now I both understand and agree with you: being offended is a choice we make, and expressing that offence publicly is also a choice. That doesn't mean that there aren't times to respond to an offence--there are. However, "I" sleep a lot better, and feel a lot better, when I can let go of the minor offences of others--especially if those offences aren't about me anyway.

What I do on this Forum and others, If I read something I don't like, I move on to another.
Simple and effective....

If you allow outside influences that you have no control over to effect your equilibrium then you are not paying close enough attention to yourself.

Don't I wish I could always keep that forefront in my mind. But.......I do try.

Im not so sure about clearly knowing why...what with mods being above criticism ...but bottom line and here I will not agree with Halbert...it is always a choice(this is not my disagreement Halbert) and (my disagreement} there is never a time to be offended period...to try is to do...we know this deep within...but just can not do it...I will not let this point go to where we all know( oh yeah...we all and yes I will speak for we all...read RW Emerson on this bold statement...it proves its self...hint it refers to genius) and quite frankly want it to go...but again just can not admit it...self defiance is not self defence...its self offence...sense it...you will never...never...understand it...self reflection is one key to sense...not the only one...but a start PS No one is too busy to water their own creation...Only the DoG delegates that...metaphorically speaking

I used to get in more than a few "discussions" with one particular user.

It was never his information that I had an issue with, but his continual condescension towards other users. Maybe it's because I'm a dad, but I couldn't help myself from standing up for my brothers(and myself) who were more calm than I was.

But now, I don't post much anymore. I don't ignore posts either as it's still in me to argue, but lately I've just been to darn tired.

tudpock,

I have known you here for 10 years. Your reply was on-target. I have always known you to be fair and even handed, the way a good moderator should be

One upon a time when you got insulted you would just respond in kind and move on. These days people don't ever want to be insulted and insist on "safe zones" where the gov't/moderators/teacher/whatever is tasked with protecting everyone's feelings.

nope

Larry - use the + Post Reyply button to get more options, including smilies, for replies. The "quick reply" function doesn't have these.

I'm all for good debate and even will look the other way on some "edgy" posts. But, I think it's entirely OK to call out a member for insinuating that they are "more knowledgeable" or have done more "extensive scientific research" than others leading to their "treatment decision" being superior to ones others have chosen.

Unless you are an MD trained in the treatment of PCa, all you (and we) are just posters to a forum whose members represent a fraction of those inflicted with this disease.

Sky - I only use this site on my desktop/laptop. There might be something with the mobile version of the site (that's used on phones, tablets) that may have changed recently. I haven't checked that.

Andrew