Misconceptions About PC (name changed)

...... “You will continue to struggle with yourself until you face reality.” ...... Come on man, don’t flame, respect the guy’s view.

EZ TJ...we know you are smart...BlackJack nailed it once ya cut thru all the Bull.


wow...the male/female part of this thread is really opening eyes...I did not realize the underlying tension twixt...gents stay on your hormones...its less revealing...and stay off the computer for your so called "physical therapy" it really does rot the soul ya know...Im starting to worry about the women now and what they are up to....


save us all...everyone


respect his view...no flame there...Poppy cock...balderdash...sentimental bull...fire and ice....Problem is...here and every where...people are "nice" when the shouldn't be and not "nice" when they should....I got some words brewing for a soul scrambler...but I might enlighten ya and the blowback intended for me...would strike and blotch both faces as water mushes feet in trenches,,,put that in your funk and wagnallis...gee thanks for the vents....pant...pant...pant

IT: Here's the comment I was responding to (and you made it):

"breast cancer is a reproductive cancer. No doubt. It's comparable in the sense that it's cancer. That said, is there a cancer that makes a female physiologically incapable of having sex? Would a woman want to wear a tee shirt that says....."I can't have sex!" "

To steer away from the controversy a bit....I happen to think that PCa (and prostate issues in general--and any uniquely male urinary/reproductive issues) are extremely to deal with because of how complicated the anatomy is down there. The area is difficult to get to, very tightly fit together, and has lots of moving parts. At least one prostate surgeon has said that in his opinion prostate surgery is more difficult than brain surgery.

We go down in that challenging region to deal with a problem--whether it is with a knife or a ray-gun--and collateral damage is almost inevitable. There probably isn't anything comparable that is 'female only'.

FranPro said...
Lies and Deceptions

I am not sure how many on this site feel like I do, but I feel that prostate cancer has been so down played in our society that we shrug off a rise in PSA. No big deal. Most guys don’t know it can kill you. Most guys don’t know how it changes your life even if it does not kill you.

I was 57 and my PSA had been going up for 4 years. The doctor said you should go to an urologist about the third year when my PSA was about 3.5 but he never really pushed it. I ignored it and went on with my “normal” life. Hell my manual test came back perfect, and I had no symptoms. Sure I got up several times a night to pee, but all guys do, right?

So in October 2018 I go back for my annual checkup and my PSA is now 13.1. Wake up call! Still with no symptoms, but it was time to go see an Urologist and get him clear me. Turns out this idiot wanted to do a biopsy on a perfectly healthy 58 year old guy. My genius boss even said, it’s no big deal, skip the test. Well my wife made me go to the biopsy. While in the waiting room they were running late, so I almost walked out, just a waste of time. I stayed and got the test, went home with a catheter because they wanted to go home and I could not pee. That is another story for later. So a week later my Dr. calls and says you have cancer! 11 of 12 samples were positive. It turns out stage 3, G7 4+3 RALP 2/05/19 with a much better surgeon and at a great hospital.

Long story longer, the point I am getting at if I was told I might have lung cancer I would have ran to a hospital. But being told you have symptoms of prostate cancer, no big deal. I was so delusional that I kind of blew it off. It grows so slow I would be 120 years old before it kills me. I was a slacker, I could have kicked its ass years ago, but I did nothing because of the lies and deceptions! So here I sit with what could be a time bomb in my body. Stage 3 prostate cancer and what amounts to a large *** for a penis. By the way, no doctor prepared me for the aftermath of RALP. Fortunately I pee normally and I don’t need pads anymore. The ED is improving slightly with shots and meds, but I digress.

My main point is that 1 in 7 men will get prostate cancer in America. It is the second leading cause of death among men. So why does our society down play this deadly disease? Why do we/did we think it’s no big deal? Well it’s a big ***king deal.

We need to wake up the next generation and educate men on how this bad this disease can be and not to just blow it off. I am pretty lucky. I am 5 months post-surgery with a PSA of >.01 for now. I know I am not done, I have beaten nothing and I never will. This will be with me for the rest of my life. I need to live with the fact that I could have beat this a few years ago it were not for the lies and deceptions that lead me to put off treatments early on. We need to get the word out! Sorry for the rant but it helped me to write it.

soooooooooooooooooooooooo true.

In fact, I don't even bring up the fact that I have prostate cancer because of this, I just say I have cancer because the first few people I told that it was prostate cancer trivialized it so.

cancer sucks,
all cancer,
for all people.
============
There's today's poem about cancer.

Andrew

mentor5959 said...
I don't even bring up the fact that I have prostate cancer because of this, I just say I have cancer because the first few people I told that it was prostate cancer trivialized it so.

Yes, this is what I find so disparaging. And is what I tried to express in my first reply to this thread. PCa is seen by the general public AND THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY as being something less significant than having the flu.

And what has HURT me for so long is how MY UROLOGIST allowed my PCa to grow for four years by trivializing it, by leading me to believe that it was "nothing to be concerned about" (in his own words). It was a very frustrating and emotionally trying period. And yes, I was expected to "suck it up" and act as though this was something 'normal' for a male.

Meanwhile, I was bombarded by advertisements for breast cancer. Not only that, but a general belief among the public that breast cancer IS THE ONLY GENUINE FORM OF CANCER. Not a breast versus prostate and not men versus women, but the anguish of my own concerns being ignored by a specialist, while the world focuses on a very common and (in most cases) readily treatable cancer just because 98% of the victims of that cancer happen to be women.

Anything beyond those sentiments were never intended by me. Others may have said so, or I may have misspoken (that happens a lot). Imagine if you were a woman, you knew you had a serious problem "down there", but your doctor repeatedly told you that your pelvic is normal, your biopsy was negative, and your elevated bloodwork is "nothing to be concerned about". All this while constantly seeing advertisements which imply that ONLY MALES ever get cancer. Would that not, as a female, make you feel that your life is being trivialized?

In that regard, that is the only gender disparity I have brought up... And as I said, even my wife hates the fact that just because she is a female, everyone trivializes her lymphoma and assumes that she had breast cancer.

spouse21 - The e-mail chain I had with my 9 year younger brother was comical if not so sad. It started with “that sucks, you will have to keep an eye on that but that is the cancer to get” to “now that you explain it like that, crap, it’s not like you can do anything about it.” I explained to him with a father and brother with PCa, he better get after it in no uncertain terms.

My 35 year old sons were much better but I know that it will be something to return to when they are 40 since they are single, living the life, and it will be imaginary to them for a while yet. I too will be having the genetic testing done next month to find out what I can for their benefit.

Post Edited (Mumbo) : 5/26/2019 2:06:17 PM (GMT-6)

All diseases suck and, in this business, we just get what we get.

My only experience is with PC so that’s all I can comment on. If it wasn’t for a life insurance test Nothing would have been found. I had annual DRE’s but never was tested for PSA. When I asked my doc she told me “they are expensive and controversial”. When I had records pulled from many years back I found a random PSA reading as part of other blood work that was clearly over the respectable range for my age but had been ignored. I changed PCP’s and when he reviewed my form in the first meeting he said “did they tell you about all the piss and boner issues” as well as “don’t worry about it nobody dies from this”. My wife and I watched her father lose an agonizing battle with PC. I quickly changed PCP’s for the second time.

Since then I am very fortunate to have landed in good expert hands but my experience has left me worried about the medical professions understanding of this disease at large and what others may be experiencing. From non-medical folks I expect some men to be Neanderthals and others to be terrific. I have not told many men or women of my sort but can say that, to date, I have noted that I am, on average, much more comfortable with my convos with women (just started ADT so that may be affecting things...). I think this site is a great online outlet where I have found everyone to be both gracious and constructive. But this is, admittedly, a bit of a self selected group. I agree with all who have said that more education and awareness are important. I also agree that if we don’t do it others are unlikely to. Over the years I have funded Breast Cancer research. I have also noted women groups who fund PC research. Maybe we could get together and fund both under a common umbrella.

I was fortunate that my GP was conscientious, tested PSA's annually and in 2012 told me the computer spit out a notice that I should see a urologist because it was over 4. So I saw a Uro that had been treating me for over a decade. This was when he made the "it's nothing to be concerned about" remark. Beginning of a long story.

Turned out as I later learned this was the same year the USPSTF began to discourage PSA screening. There was no so-called "joint decision making". A year later my PSA was 9.5... Again, it was my GP. This time my Uro did a biopsy which he told me was negative, nothing more. I tried to ask questions, based on my limited knowledge at the time, and he just gave me dismissive answers. I figured if he wasn't worried about it, why should I?

Yes, just tough it out. That's what's expected of a male. When we moved I got a new GP. He asked me if I knew my PSA was 25, and I told him the story of the biopsy. He asked if I'd had an MRI before the biopsy. The next time I saw my Uro I asked about the MRI and he just said that "requires special training" and left the room. When he returned he informed me that he was retiring and had health problems of his own.. Turns out it was Parkinson's.

That was the last time I saw him. His partner took over and within a month I had that MRI and a fusion biopsy. The rest is in my sig. I CONSTANTLY question what I could or should have done differently. If he could not do a fusion biopsy, why did he not refer me to someone else years earlier? My wife tells me that PD affects judgement. Should I sue the guy? How do I put a value on what I've been thru? Would I feel any better dragging an old man with Parkinson's into court? It would only force me to re-live everything that happened, and add to my own feelings of guilt... something else that I had done "wrong".

And that's exactly what I am trying to get away from. A month ago I was beginning to feel at peace. Then I come to HW and drop right back into the pit of despair once again. And while I am inspired by the courage of the G9-10 guys with nodes and mets, there are always a few vocal guys with low PSA's and a mid grade Gleason who profess that anyone who had surgery made a mistake.

I'm afraid that in my case it was NOT just a once and done. And I feel comradeship with some others here who have had a rough time of it. I try to be uplifting but usually just come off as whining.

The PCa experience had prepared me well for the second, third, and fourth cancers that I would be thrown into head first in the years since then. Now I know... Read everything. Don't believe the first or second doctor if something doesn't seem right. Some may view this as an obsession. But to me it was a lesson learned the hard way. "We won't get fooled again!"

logo said...
Just not getting the whole man/woman stuff and how they are getting the spotlight and the men are in this bottemless hole of this and that that has shaped their whole post treatment existence(nhave some secular faith)...

I hear you logo. anyone who thinks women have it easier are nuts.

Lynnwood said...
I am trying very hard to hold my tongue about how men have it so much worse.

Perhaps with this ONE particular cancer. But in general, in today's society? Birth control? Etc, etc, etc.

I do agree SOME cancers get way too much attention, like breast cancer. Easily treated if spotted early, and gets an inordinate amount of funding due to those ridiculous pink awareness drives. I've lost people to lots of other cancers. I wish all the cancer initiatives could band together and focus more on causation/prevention and perhaps less on treatment. Distribute research funds according to cancer incidence rates. Prostrate cancer might move up in "awareness", breast cancer down, I have no idea.

Anyway, sorry, I just can't stand by without saying a little something. We *all* deserve better. Peace.

Agree with Lynnwood.

Here in Canada, they have reduced our screening of breast cancer to having a mammogram every 2-3 years.
A few years ago, I was told it must be yearly until we're in our 70's.

And read this: Apparently our Blue Cross covers Viagra. Blue Cross does not cover Vagifem.

(we know what viagra does....but perhaps not Vagifem. It is a very very low dose of estrogen that is used on the site for women who have issues after menopause)

My Dr. and I were discussing this. So, the men are getting their viagra...but who are they going to have sex with?
maybe not their wives if they can't afford the Vagifem...
This doesn't show that women are more important...now does it?

So, I'm not convinced that the health care is in favor of women...not here in Canada anyway.

As for the man vs woman/breast vs prostate thing, just more horsecrap. Cancer is cancer. Breast cancer organizations, the legit ones, do a great job if fundraising. They deserve every penny they get. Women die if breast cancer. My mom, it took her life at age 54. My mother in law, took her life in her late 60’s. And most recently a friend, just about a year ago. Even with all the advancements, she couldn’t be saved.

Prostate cancer the same. Maybe our voices aren’t as loud. Maybe they should be. Their are fine organizations doing fund raising, like Prostate Cancer Foundation, and ZERO. We should be promoting those organizations, doing runs or taking part in whatever opportunities they offer us. But we shouldn’t be lamenting that breast cancer research gets more money. JMHO.

Raise your hand if you’ve never had a close friend or family member profoundly affected by breast cancer.
I’m guessing I hear crickets with a very minuscule number of very lucky hands raised.

Venting does sound better - and Rob - I never intended to say you were or had a habit of being whiny. Although you’ve described yourself as whining on more than one occasion. Anyway, apologies if it came off wrong. The idea that I meant to convey is that we are all here to support one another, and if venting, whining , obsessing, or complaining makes one feel better, or makes it easier to cope, then there is no harm in that and IMO we should support that.