Friday joke (July 19)

Forrest Gump dies, goes to heaven, and stands in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says, "Welcome, Forrest. We've heard a lot about you." He continues, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here in Heaven, and we find that we now have to give people a short entrance examination before we can let them in."

"Okay," says Forrest. "I just hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a whole bunch of all kinds of tests. Momma always used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "

"Yes, Forrest, I know. But this test has only three questions. Here they are."

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God's first name?

"Well, sir," says Forrest, "The first one is real easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? It's Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter looks surprised and says, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I'll give you credit for that answer."

"The next question," says Forrest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."

"Twelve?" says St. Peter, surprised and confused.

"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"

St. Peter, again surprised, interrupts him and says, "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"And the last question," says Forrest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."

"Andy?" says St. Peter, completely surprised this time. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"

"Well, sir, I learned it in church," says Forrest. "Momma and I, we used to sing about it." Forrest breaks into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."

St. Peter opens the gate to Heaven and says, "Run, Forrest, run!"