HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Not looking good

Support Forums
>
Prostate Cancer
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 6/12/2007 5:42 PM (GMT -5)
My husband, Mr Indie...is 57....was diagnosed in May 2004 with prostate cancer...He had a PSA of 14.5 after a routine medical check up. He has had his prostate removed...but cancer had travelled to the lymph glands. He has had radiation treatment once and he is on his 3rd 6 x course of chemo treatment. He also has a shot of Lupron every 4 months.. and has an infusion of Aredia once a month.
For the past 3 years, since he had surgery and chemo...his PSA has hovered around .8-1.5 but over the past 6 weeks it has started to move up and as of last Friday ( June 9 2007) it was 15.9.
So, we know what is coming.....and it is very difficult for me to cope.
I hope you all understand.
Thank You
Pam...aka Mrs Indie
Posted 6/12/2007 6:29 PM (GMT -5)
Hi Pam, Sorry you are here, but you came to the right place. How is your husbands overall health? What was his post op staging? Have you gone to a center like MD Anderson that deals with cancer? My dad was diagnosised with PCa in 1992. He was 49 and in the final stages with lymph nodes affected throughout his body. His PSA was off the charts. I don't remember exactly how high, but my mom says above 100. He went to MD Anderson's multiple times. They gave him many years. Surprisingly, the treatments that they said would not work, helped him the most. During the years that my dad fought PCa, he lived the best years of his life. He found newfound love for my younger sister, not to mention my mom, and got involved with many activities they did. He did not survive, (not what you wanted to hear), but I believe that he may have lived multiple more years had he not have suffered a broken hip. (Fluck accident). I think that you need someone to listen right now, and we are here. Don't panic over the recent rise in PSA. Talk to the docs and search for the next treatment. My dad died from kidney failure, associated with his PCa. He never had his removed. It wasn't an option for him. I know that it is very hard to be in your position. I spent my early college years dealin with my dads PCa and trying to help him cope. My mom stood by my dads side and was a great caregiver. It has only been since my husband was diagnosised that we have shared stories regarding my dads illness and the way he dealt with it. He had a VERY positive, I AM going to beat this attitude. My mom said he never cried about it. I said, he cried to me, multiple times. Please feel free to vent here, and also to ask questions. We are here for eachother. God BLess, and Keep Positive. Courtney
Posted 6/12/2007 7:06 PM (GMT -5)
Hi Pam,
My name is Tony and I pray for your husbands health. My story does not vary far from your early '04 situation. It was October '06 that I was tested with a PSA of 19.8. After surgery I was staged at pT3b with an aggressive grade 4 (gleason 4+3) positive margin. The only step away is for a PSA rise of any sort to be staged as stage IV. My PSA did go to 0.0. I have held steady for two and a half months now. HT, radiation have started and I go to chemo next. God willing my PSA stays undetectable. Else, it is my wonderful wife in your shoes. I am just four months post op. I love being here with Ruthie, as she is my soul mate. Today I consider myself lucky. I still have a window of hope. There are other wives here responding for their loved ones that are also stage IV. I am certain they can respond for you in the best support possible.

I turn 45 in two weeks. I never believed this could happen. I can only say that I live everyday trying to get the most out of it. I pray for God's love and as much time here as he can allow me before he needs me. And I add you and your husband to my prayers as well.

Tony
Age 44
Stage III (pT3b)
PSA was 19.8 now it is 0.0
Gleason 7 (4+3)
HT and IMRT currently. Taxotere next.
Posted 6/12/2007 7:28 PM (GMT -5)
Dear Kziz and Tony,
Thank you so much for your kind words....and please let me say that my heart goes out to both of you.

Mr Indie, John, has had the best of care and we cannot complan about that. His doctor is wonderful..as are the care givers at the cancer center.

My problem is with my own family (grown children) and inlaws who just don't seem to understand the position that we find ourselves in...and in that respect I am glad to find a place where I can talk...and cry...and (b)itch and moan!..LOL

I will be back tomorrow...but must make dinner now.

You are in my heart
Pam
Posted 6/12/2007 8:05 PM (GMT -5)
Hello Pam,

We ALL feel deeply for you and John. This is the place you and John will find carring friends; we are family here. When ever you need to unload your feelings we'll be here 24/7. Our hopes & prayers are with you both.

Glen
Posted 6/12/2007 8:15 PM (GMT -5)
Dear Pam, you get to say anything you want, or need to say here. All will understand and none will judge.

Regards,

Bill
Posted 6/12/2007 8:30 PM (GMT -5)
Dear Pam,

Sorry about John's condition. He is in a place where none of us want to go but all of us could end up there. The fear and anxiety of our lives is abated by our friendship, sharing and caring for each other. WE can do this together so please stay with us...

Jim
Posted 6/12/2007 8:34 PM (GMT -5)
Pam, you said "life is hard and then you die", I chose to believe that "life is a journey, not a destination". Courtney
Posted 6/12/2007 9:04 PM (GMT -5)
Dear Pam,
I join our group in welcoming you here. Our story is similar - surgery was Feb. 06 and by April 06 Don's PSA was 11.8 and rising. It's in his lymph nodes (systemic) and he is on 3 month Lupron shots since Sept. 06. Not what we expected.

In your first post you said "I hope you all understand"...we do, Pam. Somehow we're able to deal with all different stages of this terrible disease and though we may never meet, there is such solace here. We talk about things that we don't talk with our families about, we laugh & cry, too. This is the PC Safe House!

I hope there is a way for your family to come to an understanding, for you need their support and they need you. Please know that we'll be thinking of you and looking for you here.
All the best,
Susan
Posted 6/12/2007 9:23 PM (GMT -5)

Pam:

Sorry to hear of the road you and your husband are traveling.  Please use this forum to vent in any way you wish.  We are all here to help each other.  Somehow you will be helping someone else who will be traveling your same road.

Take care.

Dutch

 

Posted 6/12/2007 10:18 PM (GMT -5)
Pam,
My husband is 57 with cancer in his lymph nodes and his PSA has started to rise. Glad you are here and I am so thankful for all of you. It helps me to have a place that is my own. That place is here. I cope by coming to this site and reading everyones journey with this disease. I know that I must be strong for Ron and educate myself in order to fight the uphill battle. We seem to have a lot in common and if you ever want to talk I am here.
Debbie
Posted 6/13/2007 8:16 AM (GMT -5)
Pam - there is always hope in the face of agony and everyone is here to raise yours and, in turn, we'll gain much from your joining us. My husband and I knew a good part of our families wouldn't "understand it" and that's what makes everyone here even more special to us. Please don't hesitate to come here and share whatever is on your mind. You couldn't be in better hands.
Posted 6/13/2007 4:25 PM (GMT -5)
Thank you very much for all of the kind and thoughtful messages.
I'm sorry I didn't get back to you all before now but today has been a busy day.
John had chemo on Monday and was off work yesterday but went back to his job today. He is feeling quite good except for the sleepless nights and a little bit of trouble going to the loo....but he has started eating dried prunes...they are helping.
I have been to the dentist...grr....I will say no more! My son called and will be over on Father's Day. No word from my daughter who seems to have forgotten that she has parents.
I hope to stay in touch each day as I feel like I am now on a countdown to the inevitable and if noone minds may I make this my diary?...or I have been thinking of starting a blog....but at 65 ( yes John is my toy boy!...LOL..an English expresion) I'm not that internet savvy and don't know where to start!...but do have the need to write things down.
Thank you all again for your kind thoughts.
Mrs Indie
Posted 6/13/2007 6:09 PM (GMT -5)
Hi ~   Pam & John,   Caring Enough to Share….. that’s what   HealingWell    is all about       A    “Special”   Warm Welcome   to   You!       click here   The Power of Hope   KNOWLEDGE IS POWER... and POWER conquers fear     Keeping you close in thoughts and prayers as you move forward in your fight.   It will be a fight but with “All of Us”…. walking * hand~in~hand and *heart~to~heart" * with you….. the road will be smoother.   “Your Journey” has been   a path filled with stepping-stones and we are here to help shore up any wobbly ones you come across.   Obviously ~ from this post you feel like this stone is a sinker.     We are here to tell you ~ it’s NOT!!!   Yes ~ It is very slippery but once you get moving ~   gathering more information (research) and getting a 2 nd opinion…. You will start to feel “Strength” beneath you.   Hold on tight because we aren’t letting go!!!   Please ~ stay close to us through every step and you will feel “All of Our” strength surrounding you both.   This forum is a true blessing for all of us.   Pam ~ Taking the first step ... reaching out is the greatest gift you just gave to yourself and John.   Hold on tight as we travel with you…   Good, Bad, and/or Ugly…. We are all here for you “both”…   Stay close ~ okay!     In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy   “God Bless You”  It's a little prayer   ~   "God Bless You" ...but it means so much each day, It means may angels guard you and guide you on your  way     (Direct Link ~ just click on the title below and a new window will open!   Reminder … click on the REFRESH icon once you get there)   Click here:   Helpful Hints ~ & ~ Direct Links to Important Topic Threads ~ Hope this helps you!! :)   * borrowed phrases borrowed   from TimG *
Posted 6/13/2007 6:34 PM (GMT -5)
Hi ~ Pam,   You will pull many things from this family of friends who are all on the same journey.   Some have to go further than others… and that’s where we all come in.   Helping each other over the different stepping-stones that are placed in our path.   Each story begins the same “the diagnosis”…. Then we all have a path that we have to traverse.   Walking this path with friends who know where you’ve been, where you went, and where you’re headed….. truly makes each step more solid.   And each step counts!!!   Pull the strength that you will be receiving from all of us.    Take the negatives…. out of your spirit.   Follow Courtney’s message…   Partial Quote: " life is a journey, not a destination "   Do what you need for both of you to make this road ahead… comfortable.   Living each day to the fullest and reaching for Hope.     You’ve reached out and found the right place to be.   Stay with us! In Friendship ~ Lee & Buddy    
Posted 6/13/2007 6:50 PM (GMT -5)
Dear Pam,

Yes, of course we all die. But it's life's journey that holds the wonder and fragility of existance.

Hold on with everything you've got. Maybe this terrible ordeal will eventually bring your family closer together.
Everytime you use this site, you and John
will find love and understanding.

Patrick

Age 54
Bx Gleason 10
Hormone Therapy 12/15/05
Surgery. 02/14/06
EBRT. June 5th to July 25th
Diag. T3b Seminal Vesicle Involvement
both lobes.
Current PSA.May 29th '07----.01
Posted 6/13/2007 7:12 PM (GMT -5)
Hello Lee and Buddy and Patrick too,

We are still living life here but it is not easy. I lost my eldest daughter 10 years ago.....she was 35 and a beautiful mother of a 6 year old son....much has happened since then and now I find myself in thei downward spiral as I face the death of my husband.

Yes we still are living..and in fact we go out to eat every day....7 days a week...this is our gift to ourselves....(silly, I know...and expensive) but we enjoy the time together and have made some great new friends at the lunch and dinner places that we go to.



I hope you will bear with me as I try and fumble my way around the smilies and emoticons because I really don't know what I'm doing!

Thank you for your kindness

Pam xx :-) :-)
Posted 6/13/2007 7:51 PM (GMT -5)
Pam,

I'm truly sorry for everything that you and your husband have been through. This site is a great resource and I hope that we can be of help to you.

Check out this site:

http://www.yananow.net
http://www.yananow.net/Experiences.html

Also, I recently posted an article/interview with Dr. Fred Lee. You might want to consider a phone consult with him. Here is the link:

http://www.rochesterurology.urologydomain.com/handler.cfm?event=practice,template&cpid=34

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

AEG
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply