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paralyzing anxiety

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Posted 9/23/2010 2:50 PM (GMT -5)
latest psa results rec'd today at <0.1.  i suppose i should be elated and most of me is as this is two consecutive "undetectables". here's why a tiny seed of doubt still exists. had rp in Oct. 09. first psa following was 0.02 and two months later came 0.05. immediately started rt (39 treatments). first and second psa following are both <0.1. i'm aware this does not indicate ultrasensitive test but the radiation onc. says the test used is ultra. my math abilities which are pitiful at best tell me i was <0.1 before rt.  Am i missing something?

on the other hand, very thankful for the latest results and maybe i should just be happy. if it becomes detectable again (i guess that means >0.1) it will be time for ht and my understanding is it is supposed to be quite a bit higher than 0.1 for ht.

i posted earlier that if this happened i would seek another psa test that would really indicate ultasensitive but, the anxiety all week and especially today before making the call is indeed paralyzing. don't really want another day like this real soon.

healingwell has certainly been a blessing since i learned of it recently. praying for you all!

Posted 9/23/2010 3:15 PM (GMT -5)
tigre,

Your own conclusion, which comes from the calm, levelheaded part of you, is right--be thankful for the latest results, and don't worry until the next test, or later. Most of us, including me, have some anxiety right before a test, even after more than a year. But it decreases with time. I tell myself: You have another opportunity to enjoy life--try not to waste that time worrying.

DJ
Posted 9/23/2010 4:27 PM (GMT -5)
The sooner you can come to grips with 'It is what is ", the sooner you will learn how to relax. The anxiety will never change what it is, it may only make it worse.

Once you know what it is, then you can set about to deal with it. The results of the PSA test won't change anything about you for the moment, for a week, a month, maybe even a year.

We all go through some extreme curiosity, but if it truly is paralyzing you, then maybe a script for an anti-anxiety med may be in order.

Good luck.
Posted 9/23/2010 4:45 PM (GMT -5)
Tigre:

Been there. Done that.

Will do it again in 3 months

Mel

Posted 9/23/2010 5:43 PM (GMT -5)
dj, mel and goodlife
thanks for the responses. every positive, encouraging word goes far as we all know. especially from those who are experiencing the same.
tigre
Posted 9/23/2010 6:45 PM (GMT -5)
tigre, did I read your post correctly. You started 39 treatments RT at .05? I thought RT started at a higher PSA than that. Why did you start so, so early?
Posted 9/23/2010 8:27 PM (GMT -5)
HI, Tigre. 3 months post DaVinci I was <0.01, 6months, .1, 9months,.2. Doubling time of 3 months.Started RT last October and finished in Dec. 39 treatments, 78 gys. Since then .1. So that's 9 months of the same score. I am encouraged by that, and after meeting with the Doc today, he thought it would probably stay that way for some time. He was frankly surprised with the pathology I had that I had to go to radiation at all. I suppose I'm just unusual...or unlucky. Either way, I'll take the.1 and go ahead with my life. Psa anxiety doesn't help any, but now it's over. Relax for a few months before making any other decisions. But keep researching.

Bob
Posted 9/23/2010 8:59 PM (GMT -5)
bob and red nighthawk,
bob, interesting you noted the day after your birthday. my biopsy was on my birthday. happy day to us huh?

just rec'd package from radiation onc. today so i'll have more detailed info. to share.
when i was diagnosed i was 45 y.o. and had a psa of 3.9, gleason was 3+3 (6) pre and post rp but i did have a positive rt. margin which upgraded me from t1c to t3a. (i think i earlier mistakingly said t2 to t3)
first psa post op was 0.02
2 mo. later 0.05
uro. says almost for sure confirms reccurence and set up consult with radiation onc.
uro. and radiation onc. agreed that latest research indicates rt before .1 give best chance for success (cure)
don't know what some of these numbers mean but: i rec'd 7020 cGy in 39 treatments using 6 MV photons and IMRT to prostate bed and surrounding margin.
my rt was considered adjuvent not salvage ( i think the differnce is that i started very soon after rp)
4 of 12 cores diseased
i guess my decision was based on what they both advised. it made sense to me not to let it progress any more and that the rt would kill it while hopefully all of it was still in the bed area. my brother is 5 years older than me and had rp a year prior to my diagnosis. based on what info. we had, his surgeon agreed that in my case, let the tx be aggressive.
hope i was helpful.
Posted 9/23/2010 9:06 PM (GMT -5)
bob,
you are absolutely correct about anxiety not helping anything. you have a winning philosophy with take the .1 and enjoy every day! if i've learned nothing else through this battle, it's that ask 100 opinions about stats, treatments or anything else to do with pc and you may well get 100 different answers. keep getting those good scores!
Posted 9/24/2010 8:10 AM (GMT -5)
Tigre
I think you may have been seen as adjuvant not salvage because of the positive margin. Thus you were probably a candiate for RT without even waiting for PSA results, they simply give you a gap between surgery and RT to give you as much time to recover from the surgery as possible.

Alf
Posted 9/24/2010 8:50 AM (GMT -5)
Tigre....I think your doctors approach with adjunctive SRT was on the money. With a brother that has prostate cancer, you are at very high risk and the positive margin just confirmed that you need to be aggressive with the treatments.

Anxiety will subside with time. For now enjoy the good news.

All the best.
Posted 9/24/2010 9:02 AM (GMT -5)
Tigre, thanks for the clarrification and best of luck and a complete return to good health.

Peace,

john
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