Things the Doctor never told me -
1. If you're squeamish about shooting
junior, a drink or two beforehand helps steady the nerves. I've found the
alcohol also prolongs the action and delays that wild frenzied part at the
end....
2. While shooting the little guy with
a needle, the peanut gallery isn't necessary. All my sweetheart needs to see is
the result. Complete privacy when I'm doing the deed helps. Coaching and back
seat drivers aren't welcome because Junior shrivels and hides when under stress
or psychological pressure. 
3. Plumping up the big boy helps a
bit. As we learned in the Army, a bigger target is much easier to hit. 
4. Use your darn glasses even if you
don't think you need them. Those stupid little marks on diabetic syringes are
small..... and a couple of those little marks in the wrong direction COULD MAKE
A BIG DIFFERENCE!!! 
5. Set the timer or clock for the one
hour mark and start thinking about your emergency deflation plan if the big boy
isn't going down by then. If things don't improve by hour two, put the plan in
action. (take those "down boy" pills or whatever the doc told you to do) If thngs aren't going down
by hour three, put your Doc on notice and start heading his way, you can always turn around if the situation improves. 
6. If you're new to injecting, plan
your activity during your urologist's office hours until you get the hang of
things. The ER folks may not be in a big rush to take care of an old guy's
"self inflicted" wound. They may even turn your case over to that
nervous 21 year old nurse doing her clinicals...just to give her a new and
exciting experience.... 
7. Never under any circumstances buy
a tube of KY-Jelly that is about the same size and shape as your toothpaste. 