OT: First Kayak Outing - a mixed bag

Thank you, OHSOBAD,

That was the entire point. And yes, I don't think I thought one time for a moment about PC, or PC things, when we were out.

My list of things that I can not do anymore is far greater than what I can do, however, I am not willing to simply sit or lay around the rest of my life being medicated. I will continue to try to do things that I can handle, and hey, if something proves to be too much, will move onto something else.

I was at a web page the other day, where even people confined to wheelchairs and double amputees can kayak. I found it rather inspirational. To look at me from the outside, with the exception of needing a cane, I look perfectly normal, and no one would have a clue what is going on inside me with my cancer, chronic fatigue, and chronic pain.

I plan to do all the living I can handle in my remaining time. Even before I became a cancer magnet, I would change hobbies often. I get real interested in something for awhile and go whole hog, and then just like that, the interest fades, and I get into a new kick. Drives my wife nuts sometimes over the years, but that's just me. Have a lot of interests in a lot of things, I don't think that is bad.

It really hurt me to sell my beloved sailboat "Octavia" earlier this year. But I knew I could never physically handle her anymore, and we couldn't afford to keep it set up on the water. So these tiny kayaks are still "boats" technically, and it still gives me a chance to be on the water. It's all good.

David

SB,

On the fentanyl, I went from 12.5 to 25 to 50 to 75 to 100 and only recently to 125. I never went from 75 to 125. And now, as I explained on my thread at CP, I am back to 100 temporarily.

Just because I passed out one time, doesn't mean I will pass out all the time. I have taken precautions since then. And I am being more conscious of when I am getting too hot, sometimes its a thin line between the two.

With the stoma. I won't die if it gets wet. If it gets too soaked, I waste a 15 dollar device and have to replace it. How do you think I take showers? I have learned how to stand a certain way, so that the device is not getting blasted by the shower stream, and then hand dry it carefully afterward. I do stand a higher risk of infection and UTI's with a stoma, so that is the main reason it wouldn't be wise for me to be swimming in a lake, river, or ocean, because bacteria could get through a soaked device. But it doesn't mean I can't ever do it, taking precautions. The hot tub/spa is more about the heat than the water, but right now, are Spa is down and out long-term with some major repair issue.

I don't need you to judge me for attempting this new found sport of kayaking. If I can do it on occasion, then good for me. If it proves too hard, then I won't do it. It's that simple. Some activities like I use to do, like bicycling, motorcycling, and even bowling - are just not doable for me anymore - and I loved all of them dearly.

I have spent my entire teenaged years and adulthood with boats and boating, it killed me to get rid of my last sailboat, because I knew I would never be able to have one or use one again. So as tiny as this kayak is, its still a boat to me.

What you call support, sometimes comes across as just looking for fault, or being petty, or being judgmental. I don't care if someone agrees with me or not, I am not perfect, nor is anyone else.

I support people by uplifting and encouraging them, that is my style.

There's risk in just living, or getting into my car, I refuse to lay down at this point in my life and either let my advanced prostate cancer or my chronic fatigue or my chronic pain define who I am as a person.

I will continue to do the best I can, I already know that I have severe limitations of what I can and can't do anymore. But that doesn't stop me from trying. And won't stop me from trying.

David

Post Edited (Purgatory) : 8/28/2013 8:17:33 PM (GMT-6)

I hate to do the back/forth but just will clarify a few of my comments as you seem to be very agitated for some reason when people are just sharing their own thoughts/suggestions...That's all I am doing in reference to reading this entire thread and then commenting on my own.

As far as the pain meds, I meant that you have been on the 75 mcgh patch for quite awhile and then got moved to the 100mcgh patch then the 125mcgh amount all within the last few months.....That is why I said it was a big jump that your body needs to adjust to.

And because you shared your story about passing out because of the Fentanyl patch on our board and said how scary it was for you...it just meant that many of us were worried about you being in the heat doing something strenuous kayaking with the 125mcgh amount in your system.....that's all...

I'm not "judging' you about kayaking.....where did I say anything of the sort?

I said that many were "worried" about you.....big difference!

Just like I read many of the folks from this board were when you originally posted about possibly buying the kayaks.....There was concern from your friends on here....

And because this is a kayaking thread....people talked about in reference to your specific issues like horrible pain, not very steady on your feet, being on the patch, and having a stoma that you told us couldn't get wet.....So these things all got mentioned...

People asked questions about it.....This is where you and differ completely......Questions are just that.....I take things at face value where you are assigning these "darker" motives to everyone.

If this is a new hobby that you can physically handle to enjoy a fair amount..that is wonderful and is good to know that you are getting around pretty well and are stronger than I thought you have been lately physically. We just went from reading about you stopping the once a week rehab because it was way too much and barely making it through the day, to then going kayaking so it was a bit of a leap for many. But we are all glad you had fun!

As I said, if you write about all the details in your life, people will comment on them and that should be ok even if you don't agree with everyone..

I won't post anymore on this particular thread as it seems you won't take things as intended. I just happened upon it in the first place as you said for me to come over to the PC board so I did....I am the "glass half full" type of person that saw this whole thread as good folks offering their support and care for you.

Simple conversation like all of this shouldn't be such an ordeal even when there is disagreement.....I hope you have fun on your future outings:)

Post Edited (Snowbunny21) : 8/29/2013 3:26:31 AM (GMT-6)