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the nadir poem: Nadir Radar (aka ode to .3)

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Posted 4/15/2015 7:10 PM (GMT -5)
Nadir Radar

Watching the skies for the unseen.
Necks strain watching the ng/ml rise to the zenith.
Sabers drawn and the battle joined.
Electrons fly at the mass of invaders.

Massacre as they fall.
Radar scans relentlessly.
Nanogram count lowers,
as the bodies are slowly removed from the battle field.

Timeless time and the count goes on,
falling to the land of nadir.
Steady eyes watch,
hand firmly on saber's hilt,
worrying that it may need raise again.

----------
Well, maybe not the best, but here it is.
On another note - I've received my PC cancer book back from two of the friends who were doing editing for me and I am working on another draft before starting the work of getting a publisher.

Peace,
Andrew
Posted 4/15/2015 9:15 PM (GMT -5)
It brings to mind Beowulf slaying Grendel.

One question: when you read this at book signings, will you pronounce the words "nanograms per milliliters" or say the letters "en gees per em els." Many tough decisions to make.

- Allen
Posted 4/15/2015 9:26 PM (GMT -5)
Andrew - You are good on the fly! Have your editors get this into your book...hurry!
TA - :-)
Susan
Posted 4/16/2015 9:17 AM (GMT -5)
Allen - well I wasn't thinking Beowulf when I wrote it (I was think about nuclear missiles), but it's a good comparison. How I read it will like depend on the audience. If it's a lot of English majors or folks in chainmail I'll likely go with your pronunciation.

Susan - Thanks. I am editing as fast as I can. Seems like it takes as long to edit as it does to write the thing.
Posted 4/16/2015 9:33 AM (GMT -5)
Andrew -

A good feature of this one is the tone. Even if your audience knows nothing about PCa and PSA, they'll be able to tell by the tone, by the mood created by the words, and the somberness of the poem, that "something's up," that something ominous is afoot, and attention needs to be paid.

And if the audience is already familiar with PSA and its test, then all the more they will "get" the poem.

As the saying goes, a writer (or poet) should write about what he knows, and you are certainly doing that successfully.
Posted 4/16/2015 12:04 PM (GMT -5)
81GyGuy - thanks for you analysis. This is an "insider" poem. It took a bit of thought to set it up the way I wanted.

Andrew
Posted 10/7/2015 11:12 PM (GMT -5)
bumping this up as my psa is now likely at that mythical nadir point...

Andrew
Posted 10/8/2015 12:31 AM (GMT -5)
Thank you Andrew, whilst I struggle, you show me a bright ray of hope between dark skies...
Posted 10/8/2015 1:26 PM (GMT -5)
Nice work, Andrew.
Posted 4/4/2016 9:03 PM (GMT -5)
What the heck, I'll bump this poem again. After my second .3 PSA, it's getting close to calling it nadir so here's my poem again.

Andrew
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