Fear, faith or acceptance.

Thanks, Cyclone and I so agree about keeping busy and living life not enduring life. We have so many gifts. Interestingly I shared at another support group I go to for another ailment about my dark say. One person came up after and shared her dad was a 20-year survivor of PC, another lost someone to PC, and a third asked if I could help them as they were just diagnosed. So out of my share, I connect with others and may be able to help a new guy. Grateful for that!.

If I may, one thing I really like about this thread is the lack of use of the word "should," usually seen in the context of "you should." Sharing what has worked for us as individuals and what we have learned going through these procedures is invaluable, but few people like being "should" on.

That out of the way, I noticed that quite a few of us are runners. It's not just running but any physically activity that can hit that reset button for me. I'll sometimes think of it as when a needle on a record (yes, you remember those) gets stuck in the groove and requires a nudge of the finger to get out of it. A run, a walk, a swim that does something similar for me when my mind gets stuck ruminating. I've not been running much since surgery since I would pass blood when I did so I am allowing my heal time and just walking and swimming.

Something else I have found helpful is engaging in my hobbies. On another thread I listed a bunch of them (vintage foreign cars, photography, computer programming, old radio show collecting, cooking, making art, etc.). After my Dx I re-invigorated my interest in hi-fi equipment. My dad was a hi-fi nut in the 1960s and I inherited not only the interest but some of his equipment. I bought a system of my own when I was in the Army on Germany in the early 1970s but it had been replaced a piece at a time, though I still had all the old pieces. I decided I wanted my original system back together and working again and have been engaged in that for the past few months. I acquired some test equipment ('scope, etc.) and am learning to use those and am slowly getting things functional. Not only is it a great distraction but I am learning new stuff and enjoying great music along the way. (My real passion here are reel-to-reel machines of which I have 16.)

I guess what I am saying is that, for me, I am treating this as a bump in the road, an annoyance of sorts, and I'll forge ahead until I can't.

I think for me, one milestone is when I cut way back on the intake of medical literature on prostate cancer. Since my treatment path is set the need is not as immediate, but lingering feeling there could be just one more piece of info gleaned, so realizing there is nothing to be gained until or if the next treatment phase begins, I’m done with research. For reasons having to do with my wife’s illness, I stopped running few years ago. I recently started again and already have rekindled the joy of it. Lupron RT and extended layoff has turned me into 210 lbs of mashed potatoes

Subdenis,
See what you started with that 1% down day..a really nice thread with many great responses, I like John TX's recent reply.. I'm right there with you brother. I been meaning to reply earlier, but been procrastinating. I'll just blame that on this darn PCa.

I especially relate to Charles'comment, "lets live for today" and also to Logos, which I sort of get.. most of his words...sometimes... In any case, like you have experienced, I also a guy that has that 99% good days and 1% bad days, with the dark thoughts all consuming on that one day.

But for the most part, I carry on, work , provide, do not worry, even with Stage 4 metastatic. I agree to be a patient, a survivor, and a thriver... all at the same time. Sort of a cancer "'trinity"..As always, keep the faith,
P.S. Thanks for this post, ranking it in the top 10 for this year.
Wingy Thing

Subdenis said...
Wing I was just telling a friend how I wrote this post with some trepidation that I would hear suck it up, be a man, etc. The result was a truly special exchange between brothers. I am grateful for all who responded. Denis

Denis, thanks for sharing as I am about to start my TX journey and as usual your words are truly inspirational and heartfelt! Keep fighting the good fight brother. Thanks again!

Sorry to wander slightly off topic...for guys like me and LifeCointosses, who are widowers, there is a new book out called The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life. I haven't read it yet, but the reviews are good. It includes talk about raising younger children as a single father. Mine are early 20's, but the sample I read looks relevant and interesting.

Other than that--it is a book about guys, like us, whose life events cause them to take on challenges they didn't expect.

One thing that I found that is good about having the diagnosis of prostate cancer: it taught me to pay more attention to living and experiencing my life each moment of each day rather than just moving along unaware. It took me about a year to get to that point. At first I spent a tremendous amount of time reading prostate cancer studies and whipping up my anxiety level. But time has mellowed me out a lot.

Having cancer has helped me enjoy my life in a new way, living one day at a time. That was something I seldom was able to do before or even cared about doing as I was always thinking more about the future than the current day. Planning, always planning for tomorrow. Sure I still plan and I still have worries about the future, especially just before I get my follow-up PSA but I really do see things very differently now. I hope that as you "get used to" the reality of prostate cancer in your life you will find that at least in this way something good has come of the ordeal.

Argent said...
One thing that I found that is good about having the diagnosis of prostate cancer: it taught me to pay more attention to living and experiencing my life each moment of each day rather than just moving along unaware.
Having cancer has helped me enjoy my life in a new way, living one day at a time......... but I really do see things very differently now. I hope that as you "get used to" the reality of prostate cancer in your life you will find that at least in this way something good has come of the ordeal.

^^^^^^^
This!!