Phriday Phunnies

One day in the 1880s a couple of salesmen, one older and one younger, were on a train in the west. When the train stopped at a tiny settlement for provisions the older salesman recognized the place. He told his young protege about an Indian chief with a legendary memory who lived just outside of town.

In just a few minutes the men were walking the track into the wilderness. They spied a teepee up ahead with smoke coming out of the top. "That's him!" said the salesman. They got to the teepee and the man called inside. A moment later a proud young Indian chief emerged and stood there, stoically.

"Chief... what'd you have for breakfast on March 22, 1850?," he asked.

"Eggs," replied the Chief, who went back into his teepee.

"Amazing!," declared the salesman. But his young colleague was unimpressed. "Balderdash! That proves nothing. Anyone could say that!"

Disappointed, he returned to the train.

Many years later - let's call it 1910 - the now much older younger salesman was traveling on a far nicer train through the same area. The train arrived at the whistlestop, now a full-fledged town. He got out to stretch his legs... and then remembered when he'd last been there. He thought to himself, "That old Chief can't still be here... Nah...."

But he nonetheless walked the tracks. The town was more built up but eventually it went to wilderness. And there around the next bend was the teepee with smoke coming out.

"Well I'll be darned!", he thought.

He walked up the teepee and called, hesitantly: "Chief... hey.... you in there?"

And lo and behold, the Chief emerged - now with iron grey hair but still with his regal bearing.

The salesman was flabbergasted. All he could muster was, "How." (remember, this was 1910)

The Chief replied: "Scrambled."

One night, Mrs McMillen answers the door to see her husband’s best friend, Paddy, standing on the doorstep.

“Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He went with you to the beer factory.”

Paddy shook his head. “Ah Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the beer factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned.”

Mrs McMillen starts crying. “Oh don’t tell me that, did he at least go quickly?”

Paddy shakes his head. “Not really – he got out three times to pee!”

Good to see we're all still on our toes.

A priest from Dublin was vacationing in the US. He was delighted to find that some of his favorite Tequilas were priced far cheaper than what he would pay in Ireland.
By the time he was ready to return home, he had two dozen bottles packed in an extra suitcase he had purchased just to transport them. Concerned about trouble at Customs, he had soaked the labels off in the bathtub beforehand.
Sure enough, upon landing in Dublin, a Customs officer had some questions about his suitcase of unmarked bottles.
"What say you of this contraband, father?"
"No contraband, my son, this is holy water. I travel with it wherever I go."
The Customs officer opened one of the bottles and took a sip.
"This is Tequila, father."
"Holy Mary, Mother of God! 'Tis a miracle!"

I'm saving up for next week.

2019Guy said...
Oh and tonight - and every night this year - at 20 minutes and 20 seconds after eight, if you use the European/military clock it will be:

20:20:20 2020

I suppose this is significant.

Nice

Indeed. Y2K was quite a thing.

Meanwhile of course, there was 02 20 20:20:20 2020
and
0202 2020,
which is a numerical palindrome

Djin, in reference to 'garden path ambiguities'----

There is a medium sized city in central Illinois called Normal. it's right next to Bloomington, so the area is known locally as Bloomington-Normal. There is a very small town in southeastern Illinois called Oblong. As you drive into Oblong on Illinois route 33, there is a sign announcing that you have entered "The ONLY Oblong". This is important for the following headline from the society pages of the Bloomington Pantagraph some years ago:

"Oblong girl marries Normal boy"

hehe

While we are on the subject of headlines, one of the more famous ones in the NY Daily News showed up in the mid-70's, when NYC was on the verge of bankruptcy, and President Ford refused to even consider offering federal bailout money to the city. The end-of-the world type font for the Daily News allowed 4 letters per line, and 4 lines to cover the front sheet of the tabloid format. The resulting headline?

FORD
TO NY
DROP
DEAD

I love palindromes. I find the symmetry attractive in a chaotic world.

mattam

Tim G said...
A palindrome that offers sweets and pastries: The 'Yreka Bakery'

Perhaps. But I don't recommend the Chinese food there.

Halbert: yep.

the only other one I can remember isn't word-tight: A man a plan a canal Panama.

One of our veteran English teachers, a grammar and editing stickler, has this poster in her classroom, to teach the importance of editing to her students:

Sentence Version # 1: "Let's eat Grandma!"

Sentence Version # 2: "Let's eat, Grandma!"

MANTRA PRINTED AT THE BOTTOM: "PUNCTUATION: It Saves LIVES!"


This poster cracks me up, every time I visit her classroom at my school!

Subtle humor!
CYCLONE ~ # Iowa State University