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Friday humor (funny story)

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Posted 8/19/2022 10:57 AM (GMT -5)
A college student was taking a final exam in a large class with over 100 other students. Time was up, and the professor said “time.” The other students got up, walked up to the professor's desk, turned in their exams and left. But this one student kept on writing. The professor noticed this, but was too busy accepting exams being handed in by the other students, and said nothing. Finally, the classroom was cleared, and the professor saw that the student had finished writing, and was coming up to the professor's desk to hand in his exam. When he got there, the professor said "I cannot accept your exam, because you kept on writing after I said "time." The student thought for a moment, and then said "Do you know my name?" "No," the professor replied, "it's a large class, and I can't possibly remember everyone's name." The student responded, “Good.” He then put his hand on the tall pile of exams that had just been turned in, lifted up a bunch of them, stuck his own exam into the open space, dropped the lifted up exams back on to the pile, and walked out of the classroom smiling.
Posted 8/19/2022 11:06 AM (GMT -5)
I like this guy!! Must be either a Math or Philosophy major!!!!!!!
Posted 8/19/2022 1:30 PM (GMT -5)
Actually an attorney and future successful politician.
Posted 8/19/2022 9:16 PM (GMT -5)
I have a funny true story. I took Geology in college. On the first day of class, I was sitting with about 75 other students in a theater style auditorium. Down below on a chair, was a cardboard box. We had waited over 20 minutes and were thinking about walking out. The door opened and an old man that looked like a janitor walked in. He walked over to the chair and introduced himself as the professor. He then reached into the box and we heard him rummaging around with what sounded like rocks. He finally pulled out two hand sized rocks that looked identical. He then faced the front row of students and singled out a female sitting there. He held out both rocks in each hand and asked her,” What is the difference between these two rocks?” She replied,”They look the same.” He said “You are in a Geology class and said “Look closer.” She again replied,”They look the same.” He raised his voice and with mad intent said, “Look again! What is the difference between these two rocks?” She was now obviously frustrated and scared and answered, “I don’t know.” He shook his head with a disgusted look. He then raised his arm and threw one of the rocks, hitting her in the head. All of the students gasped. He started laughing and said, “That one is fake.” We all laughed for a long time. Needless to say, from that point on, he had our undivided attention. He was a great professor, unfortunately, he was also a volcanologist and left the class to a TA when he traveled to study volcanoes. My best to all.
Jack
Posted 8/19/2022 9:59 PM (GMT -5)
Jack,
I'm not sure that trick would fly these days. Too much trauma inflicted by the professor. 😀

Have a great and rainy weekend!
Posted 8/19/2022 11:53 PM (GMT -5)
Matt, you are not sure? Today, that girl would have sued him and the school. It was funny back then. We know better today what is funny and what is traumatic. I remember my football coach hitting me in the back and kicking me in the rear. This was to motivate me to keep going when the temperature in practice was over a hundred. That was also with very little water and salt pills to keep from cramping. Imagine if that happened today. Love the rain.
Jack
Posted 8/20/2022 4:43 AM (GMT -5)
Maybe NOT the best helper?

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” “How about 50 dollars?” said the blonde.
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.
"A short time later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached into his wallet for the 50 dollars.
“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porsche; it’s a Ferrari!”
Posted 8/20/2022 7:22 AM (GMT -5)
This is a FUNNY... (be sure the sound is not muted.)
https://www.facebook.com/reel/797506464579635
Posted 8/20/2022 11:49 AM (GMT -5)
Steve, I don’t have a Porsche or Ferrari. Could you ask her if she will paint my van for 50 dollars?
LOL. My best to you and thanks for the laugh.
Jack
Posted 8/21/2022 4:45 AM (GMT -5)
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!"

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,
And friends who care.
Posted 8/21/2022 7:54 AM (GMT -5)
A Sophie Tucker gem brought out of retirement by Bette Midler:

My boyfriend Ernie said to me "Soph -- if you could learn to cook we could fire the chef.' I said, "Ernie -- if you could learn to f *** we could fire the chauffeur."

Djin
Posted 8/24/2022 4:24 PM (GMT -5)
Wow it was raining so hard last night. In fact it was raining cat's and dogs.
It really was because I stepped into a poodle!
Can always tell a dogwood tree by it's bark

Pure corn 🌽

Glen
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