Now that we are all at the end of another year, we inevitably begin to think about
the passage of time in our lives, even if it's only the simple transition from one calendar year to another.
Or, maybe we do indeed ponder, even if only fleetingly, just how quickly time seems to be passing, and for many (most?) of us this has been the case especially since embarking on the cancer journey.
And we come to realize that cancer can be such a great
robber of our time, as it can demand so much of our attention, which we would so much prefer to devote to other pursuits.
The article linked below is by a cancer patient examining this thought, how cancer was so dramatically impacting the passage and use of time in her own life. How quickly time seemed to be going by for her following her Dx. And how it changed her view of the things she thought were important. It's a good examination of the topic.
From it:
"For example, I could justify seeing my oncologist as investment that could pay off in having more time. But waiting to see my oncologist? That felt like wasted time and I raged internally as minutes turned to hours."
"Away from the cancer center, I resented standing in any kind of line, wanting to scream out, “I have stage IV cancer and I don’t have time for this!”
"When I wasn’t waiting, I struggled with how to use my time. Did I really want to be washing dishes, picking up after my sons, and doing the many mundane tasks that can make up my day? Should I instead check items off my bucket list (starting with making a bucket list) and do “big things,” whatever they were?"
"Eventually, some confluence of circumstances forced me to focus on each individual moment ... (and) ... though I stopped feeling as pressured, I continued to think about time, the norms around how we spend it and specifically how I spend mine. I dropped commitments that didn’t fuel my passion. I prioritized doing fun things over chores. I spent time with people who give me energy and lift me up."
"Maybe I can remind myself that doing even one thing can constitute time well spent as I try to keep from racing to wherever it is I am going and trust that I am wherever I am supposed to be."https://www.wbur.org/news/2013/03/12/cancer-changes-timeMaybe it's sort of like seeing our allotment of time that remains as sand falling in a giant hourglass before us. We can't see how much sand is left in the top portion of it, but we may notice that it seems like the speed at which the sand is falling into the bottom portion has, since the cancer diagnosis, increased.
But while we can't stop time's movement, each of us can still define the use of it in our lives as we see fit.
With that in mind, we might follow the lead of the writer of the above article, and think about
the way time is passing in our lives, and how so much of that is affected due to the fact of cancer, and whether we are satisfied with that, and if not, whether now is the time to make changes.
Especially now that a new year is upon us.
So to close this thought, it's not so much like making new year's resolutions, but more like, in the words of the article writer, considering:
"how to use my time"
"focus on each individual moment"
"how we spend it (time) and specifically how I spend mine"
"drop commitments that didn’t fuel my passion"
"prioritize doing fun things over chores"
"spend time with people who give me energy and lift me up."
Perhaps pondering such thoughts is something that might be done as a useful late December activity every year.
When maybe it's time for a change.