HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Depressed..

Support Forums
>
Ulcerative Colitis
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 10/6/2008 6:27 PM (GMT -5)
I am normally a positive person, but ever since I was diagnosed this labor day, I have become someone don't want to be- negative and depressed.  I can't help it... After I got done taking Flagyl for a supposed c diff infection, I still have my symptoms. These past few days, whether it's because I have my period or not, have been worse.  I finally called the doctor and he didnt seem concerned (of course- he's not the one suffering!).  He mumbled something about irritable bowel.  Um, how the heck could I have irritable bowel when I hardly eat?!! I am so fed up with pretty much everyone.  I've been purposely ignoring the girls who I live with in my dorm because I just want to be alone and I"m sure they don't want to be bothered with my problems either.  My mom gets aggrivated when I complain of my symptoms  (back or stomach-- right now I have an ovarian cyst)...  I mean, she just thinks its so easy to be stress free with the blink of an eye.  It's like she wants me to lie to her and tell her that I feel awesome every day. I just feel like cutting off contact with everyone.

I guess I'm just at the last straw with things.  I'm in my senior year of college and don't really care right now about school....I just want to be done to get out of here!  I will be student teaching in the spring and am praying that I don't have these symptoms then.

Thanks for reading..

 

Posted 10/6/2008 6:41 PM (GMT -5)

Hi!  You know this can be a very depressing disease - unfortunately.  As you can see, I am 68 and often feel like you - this disease affects all ages.  Maybe you could find someone or a group to talk to about it - someone who really cares.  Your college must have a place to go for help.  Use it!

Just wanted to say everyone here understands!

Hugs, ElaineNY

Posted 10/6/2008 7:28 PM (GMT -5)
Yes the disease itself is depressing. Personally i never felt any better talking to anyone. I am more of the type that likes to address the problem. The problem was the pain,bleeding and the PITA it was to get medical help, how are you supposed to not be depressed when that is going on?! Anyways i felt i hit rock bottom 2 months back, i called and made an appointment for depression, anxiety,and anger. Hitting rock bottom also forced me to be more proactive and change my diet and start a heavy dose of probiotic treatment. A few weeks later things just started to vastly improve along with my attitude. I fell into remission, never felt better and called and cancelled the appointment.
Posted 10/6/2008 9:39 PM (GMT -5)

Have you considered taking an anti-depressant?  I resisted taking them for a long time, because I didn't want to get hooked on anything (and there were many other reasons).  Finally, I realized that this is more than I can handle right now.  I have a two-year-old son who had a very grumpy mother, and I didn't feel like it was fair to make him to suffer along with me.  In your case, maybe you need something to get you through the rest of the school year.  It could just be short-term thing.  I completely understand your concern about student teaching, because I did that my last semester in college.  Its stressful, and its a lot of work.

If you do, in fact, have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety pill could help.  My doc told me that only 5% of seratonin is in your head, the other 95% is in your gut and is a big trigger for IBS.  I just recently started taking Zoloft to see if it would help.  My symptoms haven't shown much improvement, but I am definitely less stressed out lately. 

Whatever you decide, I hope you can regain your positive outlook.  As a glass-is-half-full kind girl, I know how shocking it can be to suddenly feel hopeless all the time.  Good luck with your student teaching.  I hope you can enjoy it as much as I did!

Posted 10/6/2008 9:52 PM (GMT -5)
I am so sorry you aren't doing well. I had c diff earlier this year. It really sucks. I was on a really, really high dose of Flagyl. You mentioned the "supposed" c diff infection. Was it confirmed by a stool sample? Mine was confirmed by flex sig (ouch) and a stool sample taken from that procedure. If you are not better please talk to your doctor until you feel like you have an answer or think about talking to another doc. Also, maybe you could make sure you had enough medication (high enough dose, for enough days). Can you try to rest and get well? It will get better! I'm sorry your mom doesn't seem to be able to be very helpful right now. We're here to listen!
Jen
Posted 10/6/2008 11:53 PM (GMT -5)
Thanks for your replies! Well, if my depression doesn't get any better by the holidays I am going to consider possible therapy or medication-- just holding off as long as possible.

My doc did say it was a c diff infection that brought on the flare of my "unspecified colitis". At this point however, I am disgusted with these doctors (in the area of my college) and would like to get a 2nd opinion near my home. I mean, I know I don't have IBS- I hardly eat anything, and my PCP said that blood would not occur with that. Who knows. I was misdiagnosed quite a few times, so at this point, I'm pretty fed up with them all!
Posted 10/7/2008 12:47 AM (GMT -5)
True, blood does not occur with IBS (with the exception of a bleeding hemheroid), and yes, during period time, everything both physically and emotionally is harder.

You don't have to completely cut yourself off from those around you that are not supportive or understanding, just limit discussions with them rather than letting their attitudes toward you cause you any stress (doesn't matter who it is, they're not worth being stressed over).

2 things that may help your symptoms of D are a fibre supplement daily (my GI suggested I go that route and I'm quite pleased with the outcome, lots of benefits for both my crohn's and IBS as I have both) and a good probiotic, both of these daily and indefinitely can help alot, when your symptoms improve, likely your mood will as well...I too went through a terrible depression along with anxiety, altering my diet, regular exercise, probiotics, fibre supplements along with some other natural products I take has made a world of difference physically and emotionally.

Feel better soon :)
Posted 10/7/2008 9:16 AM (GMT -5)
What I don't understand is that if you have colitis why aren't you on maintenance meds for colitis? That might be why you don't feel well. You can have IBS symptoms in the absence of food too; it's hard to say if your symptoms are colitis based or IBS.

Sue
Posted 10/7/2008 9:41 AM (GMT -5)
This disease will throw you into depression; almost all of us go through it. Don't cut off anyone unless they're really just not understanding. I pretty much had to cut off all of my "friends" b/c they didn't really care but there's no way I'd cut off my family.
I would definitely go get a 2nd opinion b/c if you have UC, then you need to be on meds.
Posted 10/7/2008 9:57 AM (GMT -5)
(((((((((((((((big hug sweetie)))))))))))))))) This is really hard and discouraging at times. I am sorry the doctors are not validating you and helping you. have you tried probiotics? Periods do bring on symptoms more for some reason. You are going to be OK. One day you will look back at this season and see how you got through it.
Posted 10/7/2008 10:06 AM (GMT -5)
I've also suffered anxiety and depression since diagnosis. I can tell you from experience that cutting yourself off from people makes the depression worse. You end up more and more isolated. It's a vicious cycle. Look for those friends and family who are most understanding, and don't assume that your friends don't want to be bothered with your problems. They wouldn't be very good friends if that were the case.

Try to find simple activities (that don't involve too much restroom anxiety) that will get you out of your dorm room. Smile and say hi to random people you encounter. Make a point of finding ways to do something for someone else. Make a short list every day of the things you're grateful for in life; done for a few days or more, I've found this really helpful. All this stuff may sound completely cheesy, but it does make a difference. (So do anti-depressants, if you find this stretching on.)

As far as your mom wanting you to be Pollyanna -- maybe she's just miserable seeing you suffering and wants to believe you're getting better. Denial is one of the stages of grief, after all. As a mom myself, I know that it would devastate me to see my daughter in your position (and I know only too well that thanks to genetics, someday she might be). I hope she will come to see how much you need her right now.

Take care, Hamley --
emory
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply