Feelingdown,
Welcome to the forum.
Sorry you have to be a part of this terrible club.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
It takes time to get used to having this terrible disease and knowing you'll have to live with it for the rest of your life is a big adjustment.
I know that when I found out I had UC, I was pretty pissed... and went through the 5 stages of grief... it took awhile to finally come to terms with it all.
But I can tell you that knowledge is the best form of empowerment, and will enable you to have UC, rather than UC having you!
You are asking the right questions, good for you!
Diet for most of us, is a factor.
Many of us cannot tolerate dairy or gluten, but you may be different.
Start a food journal and see where it lands you.
What about supplements?
Are you on any?
Are you open to finding out about these? If so, there are things IMO that you can control, which will have a direct impact on
your disease, the symptoms you experience and their severity.
I was able to control my UC into remission through various
supplements, probiotics, diet modification, and LDN , low dose
naltrexone.
For more info on the protocol which has put me into remission,
please go to this link: https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=38&m=1666318 , and look at the 11th post.
I hope you feel better and let us know how we can help
you.