Well that was a blow to my confidence

I've mentioned before that I've had quite a few accidents, especially right before and after dx, and I still have very many close calls. But until today, it had only happened at home.

I was feeling pretty decent today-just a few very minor twinges of pain here and there, but not nearly as gassy as yesterday and I thought I was doing pretty okay for myself.

Well, there's this one older lady at my office who will corner you and talk to you nonstop. I was standing there and felt the urge come on and I tried to get away but she kept talking. I got it to calm down for like 5 seconds, but then it came roaring back. Even if I had gotten away from her sooner, the walk to the bathroom would have done me in anyway. If I had been sitting down, maybe I would have held it off longer, but there was just no chance, and it would have looked really weird for me to just pull up a chair and sit when everyone knows that you do NOT want to actually sit down with this lady and invite her to ramble on even longer.

I awkwardly left and out everything came as I waddled to the bathroom. There was that lose-lose moment of trying to get my pants off while still in the middle of going, so it went all down the back of my jeans. I had to strip down (in a bathroom that has a window with no covering) and attempt to clean up after myself. Oh, and I found out the other day that the door doesn't lock. Swell.

I've been wearing high absorbency Silhouettes almost every single day to work, plus a regular pad underneath, and two pairs of underwear. Every. Freakin. Day. And it STILL was such a mess. I got it all over myself. I do keep a tote bag with emergency supplies in my office, but my first priority was to just get to the bathroom, and then it would have looked so obvious if I had gone back to get that bag.

This was toward the end of the day, luckily, but I still wondered if people could smell it on me. Oh and as icing on the humiliation cake, when I got home, my poop-loving dog kept jumping on me because she smelled it.

So yeah. I am now terrified to go anywhere. It seems like there is absolutely nothing we can do to prevent these situations. I really feel like sometime's it's a mental thing, like I suddenly start thinking about it and then I have to go and it causes anxiety and creates a vicious cycle.

Ugh.

I'm really sorry that happened :(

On the other hand, maybe next time she corners you you can tell her "I don't want to talk--last time you talked so much I literally pooped my pants"

No offense meant! I would be devastated if that happened, but I like to look at the humor in things too when I'm alone. I really hope you feel better soon! Luckily you were kind of prepared.

Some stories, one time my friend was feeling fine, and had just started working for a big company that she loves. Suddenly, on the way in, directly in front of the security camera, she threw up all over the place. There's a stain in the carpet. She just got embarrassed and ran away! She doesn't even have an excuse, she's healthy ;) And for my own story, I shoved a nurse and left a poop trail into the bathroom and locked myself in to clean up while my mom pounded on the door saying "LET ME IN ARE YOU OKAY??"

Can you use perfume? You could go to Sephora and ask for samples. They're little enough to fit in your pocket, and if you WERE to have another accident and worry about smells, you could maybe spritz a little bit? And hopefully soon you will find treatment that works for you and won't even have to worry about it.

PS I totally agree with the mental thing too, and you're definitely tough for pulling through that!!

Boy can I realate. There was a two month period where I crapped my pants just about every day. I never felt so horrible about myself. Those accidents were what led me to decide to have j pouch surgery. I could take a lot of things but that was the final straw. You're not alone....it happens to a lot of people. Hang in there....

Oh gosh, I am so sorry you had to go through that.

I am new to this so I haven't made an "emergency kit" but I am going to. If I delay when I feel even an inkling stuff pours out of my fistulas. Today at Home DePot I found out the hard way Gross!!

AND my cashier of the month asked " What's that smell?"

Yep, emergency kit coming right up!!

Sorry to hear about your accident, but I'm glad you were prepared with a bag of supplies. I totally get it, and can sympathize as I've had multiple accidents at work, one was even several steps from the bathroom door handle, another at my desk with literary no warning whatsoever. I rinsed my pants off, dried them in the bathroom, and went commando. Agreed, you worry others can smell you or know, it's a horrible feeling (even though nobody likely noticed), you feel gross, angry at uc and yourself, and just want to cry out of frustration at this awful disease.

Time to try something new as your current uc medication treatment isn't working. Contact your gastroenterologist and discuss it. Consider it a call to action to try a higher dosage or a stronger medication. Good luck,

thanks for the laugh gloey girl - LOL ! it's been said a million times, but if we can't laugh at ourselves and each other, then we're REALLY screwed !

one way or the other, you'll get a handle on this - hopefully sooner than later - like jp said, don't let it keep you from living your life

and trust me, I know the dog thing well - they're like a guided missile aimed at my full of sh!t pants

oh, and btw, it's not out of the ordinary for me to have Led Zeppelin in the headphones while I'm online, but i honestly just started listening to When The Levee Breaks when i read your post

DMC, the keeping a sweater around to tie around your waist is a great idea. Filing that idea that advice away in case I need it.

Next time you get stuck while having to go to the bathroom, you could say you drank a ton and really have to pee NOW. Or, if it's a woman, say it's a period issue and you have to get to the bathroom.

Actually, you should say its a period issue to a man. He'll run away so fast you won't have to say another word! :)

Had a little situation myself today. Had to use the spare pair.

Post Edited (dave-nz) : 2/26/2015 10:11:37 PM (GMT-7)

I'm sorry you went through this and I think we've all been there. But I really want to urge you to look into the next option for you medically. Obviously you can't stay like this and you don't have to take this. Others already gave you good advise.

ElephantPipe said...
I'm really sorry that happened :(

On the other hand, maybe next time she corners you you can tell her "I don't want to talk--last time you talked so much I literally pooped my pants"

No offense meant! I would be devastated if that happened, but I like to look at the humor in things too when I'm alone. I really hope you feel better soon! Luckily you were kind of prepared.

Some stories, one time my friend was feeling fine, and had just started working for a big company that she loves. Suddenly, on the way in, directly in front of the security camera, she threw up all over the place. There's a stain in the carpet. She just got embarrassed and ran away! She doesn't even have an excuse, she's healthy ;) And for my own story, I shoved a nurse and left a poop trail into the bathroom and locked myself in to clean up while my mom pounded on the door saying "LET ME IN ARE YOU OKAY??"

Can you use perfume? You could go to Sephora and ask for samples. They're little enough to fit in your pocket, and if you WERE to have another accident and worry about smells, you could maybe spritz a little bit? And hopefully soon you will find treatment that works for you and won't even have to worry about it.

PS I totally agree with the mental thing too, and you're definitely tough for pulling through that!!

Hahaha, you really did make me laugh! Thanks. Do you think perfume would just mix with the smell and not mask it? Maybe Febreeze...

arizonahiker said...
"I really feel like sometime's it's a mental thing..." Of course it is!!!!

Think about this...

Every day many people...no, hundreds of people...no, millions of people....no, hundreds of millions of people get up every day and just try to make the best of everything.

That is a fact! I know this from listening to people, talking to people, and reading about people.

So whatever happens to us (e.g. an embarrassing situation, something we shouldn't have said, something we shouldn't have done...etc) we always have another chance to try again.

Please don't give up. Do the best you can and everything will work out.

John

I am definitely working on my positivity. I'm doing all sorts of things to try to relax and be optimistic. I just hope some of it kicks in soon!

Honestly, I bet no one could smell you, and if they could, like someone else said, they probably would just think ya tooted. But if perfume or febreeze makes you feel better you should definitely have some with you! Or maybe baby wipes?

And I do agree with others about perhaps trying a new treatment plan if your condition doesn't improve.

clo2014 said...
Oh gosh, I am so sorry you had to go through that.

I am new to this so I haven't made an "emergency kit" but I am going to. If I delay when I feel even an inkling stuff pours out of my fistulas. Today at Home DePot I found out the hard way Gross!!

AND my cashier of the month asked " What's that smell?"

Yep, emergency kit coming right up!!

Ugh, I'm sorry you had to go through that, too!