Relationships and UC

I'd like to know how UC has effected your romantic relationships. I'm discouraged this evening because of how my UC has taken so much of my time, energy, thoughts, etc. and has left my boyfriend feeling neglected. I can't even tell him when things will change. I could really use a pep talk and some advise. Thanks.

Nobody likes being sick and it's certainly not your fault that you are sick. Yes, it's darn right crappy (pun intended) that so much of our time and energy goes into our stupid crappy guts, but, all you can do is nurture the relationship when you can. Don't feel guilty if you need more "me" time than other people. Quite often I don't feel like going out, I rarely socialize anymore, rarely go out for "date nights" with my husband, but we've adapted. Now we make a nice (my gut friendly) meal and play cards and laugh and be silly and crack jokes about my glamorous pooping disease. Sometimes it's hard to not let this disease get you down, but after a little wallowing I push myself to pick myself up and make the best of it however I can. I'm not sure if your boyfriend is making you feel badly about being sick or if it's just you feeling guilty.if it's the bf then tell him to give his head a shake! And if it's you, cut yourself some slack!

Life is good....even if our guts aren't.

I've been single and flaring since diagnosis (almost 2 years). UC has caused be to become very inwardly focused and I've avoided dating entirely. I feel like being mid-flare would only complicate and add stress to a situation where things should be spontaneous and natural and fun. So I'd rather get to remission before even thinking about it. It can be lonely at times and I often reminisce about my past life. Too much actually, it can be unhealthy. But it is what it is for now.

Many things can add stress to a relationship with your spouse: financial issues, work, kids behavior, and uc (or other health issues) might be one of those possibilities. You just learn to roll with it, the good, the bad, the highs and lows. Uc can certainly aggravate a relationship when we feel terrible but it doesn't end many relationships. You just learn to adapt, improve, and most stressors are temporary. Cheers,

I have just got over a long flare (1 year 2 months). First six months was not so bad but as time went by I felt more and more guilty. There were times when I wished I was by my self, but that was only not to fell as if I had trapped someone else in my disease.

I realized that my fellings had a more negative impact on my relationship than the actual disease.

So, I faked it until I made it. :) I mean rather than always saying sorry for not wanting to go out, sorry for this and that and asking if he would rather be by him self than with a sick me, I kept those negative thoughts to my self, I use my energies to smile. I acted has if I didn't fell guilty. If we had to go out and did not fell like it well so be it... Just said in a happy voice... I'm tired just go without me, I'll rest and when you come back I'll be in a better shape. If he decided to stay home with me I would say to him that " I being sick was giving him a nice excuse to get out of something he didn't want to do anyway.

What did I have to loose by acting as If I accepted my disease and to respect my limits ? I wan that the stress decreased, I was happier and more pleasant, my disease had less impact on my relationship.

But I have to say my boyfriend is really sweets and he has adapted a lot. If he had not well I guest it would have mean he was not the one for me. Yes, it is a awfull disease but we still are wonderful people.

Take care,

I have a very good relationship with my UC.

My relationship with uc is very complicated, and teeters more of an abusive, love-hate thing where I am the victim. I keep throwing uc out, cursing at it, but when I least expect it, it shows up saying "i know I did you wrong but I'm reformed/changed and I will do you no wrong this time...". I know the last time uc showed up there was just blood, pain, and I was an emotional mess. I ought to get a restraining order against uc but it'd probably threaten to harm my pets and me...
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I have to say that it does have a strong impact sex aspect of my relationship. How could it not ? On top of all the symptoms the nightly enama doesn't help either.

But really in general it was all the others things I was not longer doing such as smiling be confident and so one that had more of an impact than sex on my relationship.

Poppie, if you fell really depressed maybe some meds could help you out. If it isn't that bad try the "Fake it until you make it". It sounds stupid but it worked for me :)

The only issue is iPad nut much of a cuddler. 📟