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Ulcerative Colitis
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Posted 9/15/2016 8:21 PM (GMT -5)
...what do you tell yourself?

Are you negative? Are you positive? Do you have a "whatever" attitude?

UC is a tough thing to deal with, believe me...I know! Lately I've been wondering how other people think when dealing with a tough situation.

Most of the time I'm pretty depressed, and "resign" myself to whatever happens. Just curious if some of you make the "things to be grateful" list! :)

Thanks,
John
Posted 9/15/2016 10:23 PM (GMT -5)
I'm neither pessimist nor optimistic over my situation. I've had UC for such a long time that it's just routine for me. It is what it is. I'm usually optimistic with life in general, I just happen to be a person that has challenges. i don't let my UC define me. Btw, I don't just have UC but Diverticular disease and IBS as well. My guts are a mess and I am in remission from my UC. So my main obstacle as of now is the the latter of my two. As long as I watch what I eat, I lead a pretty normal life.
Posted 9/15/2016 10:43 PM (GMT -5)
I'm never negative in the morning, or the afternoon or evening. Having a routine helps keep my colon happy and planning my day means not eating something (usually the night before) that will throw things out of sorts. Yes I'll cheat on food but not when I have a busy day or morning appointments the next day.

No one in my family has ever said they had UC but I remember my great-grandfather, grandfather and father being creatures of habit about their food, sticking to a certain menu. At the time it seemed odd but maybe that's what people do to stay regular.

Does your negative attitude come from uncertainty about urgency? Then you need to do something to fix that. Depression could be from gut changes, meaning your gut (not UC) could be causing depression chemically. Something to consider and ask your GI about.

Before getting to remission I was more anxious about where the next bathroom was, being in a car for a long period, plane travel was hell. Now my BM's are predictable (mostly) and very little anxiety and no depression. It took years to get to this point and I hope the OP gets there too.

edit to add: reading poster above about looking forward to things--all day today I looked forward to having Cheetos and a glass of wine at 5 pm. Its the little things that mean a lot because I couldn't eat Cheetos for several years without paying a high price gut-wise.

Post Edited (imagardener2) : 9/15/2016 9:47:09 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/15/2016 11:05 PM (GMT -5)
No doubt, this disease sucks out loud. And all that merry sunshine bullshyte of "it's made me a better person" and similar platitudes don't cut it for me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy...well, maybe ISIS, that Jared Subway perv....but I digress, we were handed a bad hand in life, some of us more than others with multiple medical problems besides UC. That being said, I still enjoy life. My family, friends, hobbies, my job (lol, that's going a bit far) things could be worse, I guess.

I just get weary of managing my care, all the crap wrong with me and all that goes along with it: constant doctors, taking multiple drugs, supplements, micromanaging everything I eat, glad this was just cheap underwear from Target, always buying toilet paper, fear of having to go to the bathroom really bad with no bathroom around...Oy, it all gets old.

And just a whine within a rant, now I'm facing insurance change, so changing to a new system, finding a new PCP and a GI all just sounds like one huge effing hassle. My outlook on life is still pretty much positive but this disease is one huge pain in the arse, literally and figuratively.
Posted 9/16/2016 7:15 AM (GMT -5)
"When you get up each morning...what do you tell yourself?" I tell myself ugh just 15 more minutes of sleep please, grumble a bit, cuddle up to the DW, and lay in bed much, much longer than I should. Finally, I begrudgingly stumble, grunt, grumble and find my way into the kitchen with what I'm certain is a very zombie-like swagger to get a cup of tea and let the bird out (who's now loudly singing due to the daylight in his window). I then sit on the toilet for much, much longer than I really should while sipping tea, surfing the web on my cellphone, and watch in amusement as the bird plays, climbs and does his silly things close by (I guess they really cannot smell lol). I've never been a morning person, no change due to uc. There's not much thought in the early am, as I slowly wakeup and my mind+body accept being needed to work/function now. I do what is needed to get to work and not crap myself during the process, always a win lol.

"Are you negative? Are you positive? Do you have a "whatever" attitude?" I've had uc a good number of years, uc is what it is, I'm neutral in my feeling about it. It's there and not going anywhere and my anger/positivity about it really doesn't matter much. I just try to anticipate what my recent trend line is for sum of bms, make sure I've met my quota and then go off to work and about my day. I get by and don't really think about the bigger picture of chronic illness much, instead focus on what's necessary for today. Uc is just something I need to accommodate and fit into my daily life and schedule of things. Long ago, I gave up all of the why me's?, the higher purpose of chronic illness (am I now a better person because of uc?), the will I get better/worse?, what about the future?, etc. Uc is just a bunch of crap, sometimes less of it, sometimes more of it, sometimes painful, and other times easy enough to forget about for a while (which is always nice). The reality is UC ebbs and flows just like the tide does in regards to uc symptoms: gets better, it gets worse, and I try to guess what today's symptoms will be and how to best work around them. And that's a win when I forecast about right. Surprises happen, and unexpected emergency bathroom runs keep things interesting but you laugh and move on.
Posted 9/16/2016 9:27 AM (GMT -5)
iPooP that is a really balanced, realistic way to look at it, I hope I'll be like you one day! I have my good days and my bad, and I do unfortunately let my morning bowel movement determine what kind of day I'm going to have, so up until that point I am cautiously optimistic. When I'm flaring and in pain, I really just try and get by, and then once I come out of it I feel as if I've been reborn and the sun on my skin feels warmer, the sky a little brighter etc. I don't look for hidden meaning in this dreaded illness but I have been pleasantly surprised at the people who have cared for me, who never let my illness bother them, who supported me in my dark times, I don't think I would have ever known that otherwise and it amazes me, particularly when I'd run as far away from this illness if I could.
Posted 9/16/2016 12:14 PM (GMT -5)
Arizona, I agree with the advice to see your MD about your depression. Serotonin is produced in your colon--if your colon is diseased your serotonin production is lowered. That's why they originally postulated UC was psychological. I am a trained zen practitioner, yet during my worst flare and time on Pred I became woefully depressed and worried/anxious. I finally went on Zoloft and things have improved, at least I can live in the "now" again, not worry about future or past, which is the zen way. Then you can appreciate every moment. Best.
Posted 9/16/2016 4:38 PM (GMT -5)
I feel pretty neutral as well. When I get up I feel neither optimistic
or negative. I feel like I am generally happy go lucky gal just going about my day and just leave my disease in the background.

I had someone at work the other day ask me why I had been out on leave for so long. When I told her I had Crohns she said, wow you are strong and amazing woman. Even that comment seems neutral to me. Like I guess I have survived a lot but I just feel like a normal person with a little extra baggage, one of which is literally a bag of poop!!

Zengrrl that is very interesting serotonin and the colon. I'm not usually an emotional person but have noticed since I have had my colon removed although not depressed I am much more emotional than I have ever been in 38 years of life!
Posted 9/17/2016 9:32 AM (GMT -5)
My attitude is so dependent on how I am physically feeling. Obviously during a flare, waking up for the day is horrible and I wish I could sleep 24/7 just to escape my pain. Hopeless and sad both describe my morning feelings when I am sick.

I am in remission now but dealing with a back injury so that has really affected my mood. My lumbar and sacral vertabrea are inflamed so walking, bending, wiping my butt, or lifting ANYTHING causes me pain and I feel useless.

So really, if I feel PHYSICALLY GOOD, my mood is positive, but it goes downhill when I'm not. I'm honestly grateful that I am not flaring so I really shouldn't be complaining about anything. The back pain is at most a 6/10 compared to a flare pain of 100/10.
Posted 9/18/2016 12:13 AM (GMT -5)
I definitely identify with Bacon Girl and iPoop and some sections of other people’s posts. I'm glad this website exists :). It helps others, myself included, feel connected to people who I don't even know but who have gone through some of the same issues with UC.

Yea, like some, I have a host of problems. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 19 (1992). I've had a bad lower back since 2006 (job related spine associated nerve damage/pain). Then I was diagnosed with cervical dystonia (similar to torticollis) in July of 2012 after having a bad and long standing sinus infection and right ear inner ear infection. The cervical dystonia symptoms of course stressed me out and exacerbated my then undiagnosed UC, which of course was bad, until my UC was officially diagnosed via colonoscopy in October 2012. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sore joints, body acne, bad eyes (I wear powerful progressive lenses), and I'm sure there's more lol but it's late here atm and I'm just typing as I go.

I used to be able to do a lot more, recreational sports, traveling, etc. Having been born in 1973, things haven't gotten better --- when talking about my body's physical condition. I can still do tennis (practicing ground strokes, no serving) .... and yes, I still do that even with cervical dystonia.... but I'm definitely been house bound off and on a lot over the past year or so. I can occasionally do racquetball in the winter, or tennis as well. Between the Asacol I've been taking and that having stopped working as effectively, to now switching to Canasa but still needing a flex sigmoidoscopy to find out what is going on , it's been a trying summer.

I have my good days and bad days, just like anyone else. I’m also sensitive to changes in weather (I have a mild form of seasonal affective disorder), so the oncoming of winter and lots of insomnia lately haven't helped. It's tuff, I get through the day somehow. I try and take things week by week, if I can, but often it's just day by day for now. I'm not a morning person in general, though I can be IF I force myself to stay on that schedule hehehehe.

I'm sure that one way or another I'll be stablizied again before the end of the year, it's just the waiting game that takes it toll at times. I'm trying to keep my chin up, and since my younger brother and his family recently moved back to the States (somewhat near me thankfully, in the same state), things are looking a bit brighter at times. :)
_____________________________________________________________

Douglas, 43
Diagnosed with mild UC in October 2012, and diagnosed with Cervical Dystonia in July of 2012
List of current meds: Canasa, Welbutrin, Zoloft, Buspar, Lisinopril, Atorvastatin, Singulair, Advair, Pro-Air (as needed), Flexeril (as needed), Glucosamine (as needed), Fish Oil, Vitamin D in winter time

Waiting for flex sigmoidoscopy, have had 5 colonoscopy's since October 2012
Posted 9/18/2016 6:44 PM (GMT -5)
I've recently started an antidepressant and that seems to have knocked the morning depression on the head. That said, I hardly leap out of bed singing with joy. I just wake up earlier and get up earlier, instead of lying there in a funk for two hours. The tiredness I feel almost bugs me more than the Crohn's, although I think in part the Crohn's contributes to the fatigue - partly through lack of sleep (thanks night time toilet trips: I really love you) and partly through active inflammation, I guess.

The Crohn's I've lived with for nearly half my life now. It's like a crap, toxic relative that you can never throw out of your house. I obviously would far rather not have it, but I've almost forgotten what it's like to live without it. It's not my new 'normal'; it's my horribly old and familiar normal. To that extent, I don't spend ages thinking about it on a day to day basis. There's no need to. I know I'm gonna go to the toilet umpteen times, I know my stomach will be crap. It does depress me sometimes, but most of the time I would say I'm pretty matter of fact about the whole thing. If I'm susceptible to anything, it's anxiety attacks. The antidepressant I'm on doesn't seem to help with those.

In short I'm not really negative or positive. Just braindead >.>
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