Imuran and fear of illness

Hey All,
I don't post too often here but every once in a while I still get bothered about having colitis and taking Imuran and to be honest it gets me kinda down.
Overall I've been taking it about 10 years and have been able to live a pretty complete life with colitis, likely because of it. But it scares me. My entire identity is being an active, fit, healthy guy and a lot of times I deny I have anything wrong with me.
To the point, today I read an article about antibiotic resistant bacteria and the problems we will face in the coming years because of it. Then I look at myself and think such crappy thoughts like it's just a matter of time before I get something I can't fight off. I'm generally a really happy person, but it's hard to keep these negative thoughts at bay sometimes.
Anyone else ever have these thoughts? Or fears, rational or irrational as they may be?
I suppose it's just natural human anxiety. For the most part, live life today, don't worry about tomorrow, but definitely creeps in time to time.

Thanks!
I def have my moments like all of us. I've had good scopes and some really bad ones. Gained, weight, lost weight, good stool, rain showers from the butt! All of it LOL. I look healthy and smile lots, but just goes to show you can't tell by looking at someone.
I do take bloodwork every 6-8 weeks and I've been yanked off of it also for my WBC count dropping low. I am only on 50mg now. Not even sure it does anything or just placebo.
Been on the "edge" of a flare for a while not, but seem to be keeping it at bay.
I just get nervous of the long term affects or getting sick because of it. I guess it is what it is, but it can take up space in my mind I'd rather use for something else! lol. I just get excited about the future and doing things then get these "what if" thoughts constantly in the way!
Always trying to enjoy the good days, who knows what's 1 year, 2 years, 20 years down the road.

Thanks Sara, I mostly bury these types of thoughts and go about my life, but sometimes it's my main fear and anxiety. It really is something that we have no control over so I guess all that you can do is deal with what you can control.
I don't post here often but I read often enough. But since I joined way back when, whenever I've felt the need to reach out you guys have always answered. I thank you all for that.
I hope everyone is as well as they can be too

I totally identify with this, LeafsFan. This fear led me to experiment with diet (IBD AID, SCD), because I figured, after a tough winter of cold viruses where I was out of commission for way too long and had/have a kid who needs special care, I would be in much better shape if I could at least get off the imuran.

While I did have some success with diet and mesalamines (colazal) as my only prescription drug this year, I also while off imuran 1) contracted a freaking parasite, 2) developed an amazing case of contact dermatitis from a teeny pruning scratch, 3) experienced a ton of extraintestinal manifestations of my UC, mostly skin-related, and 4) had what felt like a 5000% increase in seasonal allergies. i have been out of commission A LOT. I dunno if it’s helpful to consider that just having UC suppresses your immune system and makes you a bit more vulnerable to things like parasites, colds, etc? (It’s more with imuran, obv, but still something to consider). in any case, after a miserable few months I discussed with my GI and have ended up going back on the imuran. And I’m feeling some relief.

I just want to tell you all this because I had (still have!) a lot of those same fears of infection. The list of side effects is daunting, as is the idea of MRSA and others like it. Its a tough mindset to work with. Hang in there.

OMG, warts! They are so frustrating! It took me the longest time to figure out why my feet hurt, as I too hadn't had a plantars wart before imuran. Best of luck to you in the dating realm -- I hope that you're able to meet someone awesome who doesn't give a rat's about stuff like that.

I can relate to your identity being wrapped around being an active, fit person and that not jibing with having UC and all the challenges and fears this disease and the meds we take to try to control it bring along with it. I was running ultramarathons 3 years ago and now I'm completely out of shape (not all the UC's fault as I had some other serious life stressors over the past few years but UC and a ton of flares and prednisone didn't help). I hope to get back to being really active next year. When I was really sick the other week, I started researching running marathons and backpacking after jpouch surgery or with a bag and that made me feel a bit better, because other people successfully do it.

Regarding plantar warts, I actually dealt with those in high school, long before I got UC. Mine were on the bottoms of my feet and it took me over a year or two to finally get rid of them. What eventually worked was applying this prescription acid cream every night before bed and then covering it up with duct tape. I think I got it from a dermatologist. I had to do that for a long time. Having them frozen off in the office didn't work for me.

ipoop, yeah I know it's a really low dose. It's why I'm wondering if I should stay on it, or if I'm going to assume the risks maybe increase and nip the inflammation in the butt (or try).
LOL @ stock in compound w. I've used a fair share myself. I thought they were gone for good until the other day I noticed a little bugger on my toe. @#$@!
Thanks Anna, I'm sure it'll happen when it's the right person. I'm enjoying the time getting to know myself, but sometimes dealing with these thoughts alone is tougher than with someone to share with. Has it's ups and downs.
Sara14, looks like you joined here just before I did. I can totally relate. I do alot of extended 4 and 5 day hikes. At the very beginning of my diagnosis, surgery was discussed as a future option as nothing was working. I was on a trip once and every time I needed to "go", I had to dig a hole. It looked like someone air raided the place by the end of the week LOL. It was no fun at all. I read alot about j-pouch camping and backcountry hygeine for it etc. etc. It would change the way we do things for sure, but there are people that do it! I try to stay as positive as possible. Keep active when my body allows, and rest when it's telling me to. Hard not to cheat a little on the eating side too, food so tempting.
And yeah, Nothing a little duct tape can't cure LOL
You guys are all great!

I've actually used the duct tape in conjunction with compound w. Seemed to work!
Who woulda thought? Good for just about everything lol

haha, so if I die in my sleep from this man cold I have and I'm found with duct tape in strange places, only you guys will know why. Nothing suspicious here! lol

Sara14, I don't know any way to message you and don't want to spam the message board, but I wanted to ask you if you still do any light training, things like yoga, or eat as if you were training etc etc. I'm always interested in people who try to stay active with this stuff tugging you the other way.
Sometimes I feel like when I'm training for something, I'm automatically eating better and things can calm down symptom wise.

I just wrote a nice response and my internet went down and I lost it! Anyway, I edited my profile to make my email address show. Feel free to email me if you want!

My response basically said most days right now, I'm trying to go on short walks or hikes, do some yoga or strength training most days now that I'm feeling decent (still on 50 mg pred.). I'm worried about my bone health now, having been on prednisone so many times, so that's an added incentive for me to get back to a consistent exercise routine, as much as my body will allow. When I'm super sick, I just rest (it's hard to be far from a toilet at those times anyway). I have been debating buying a cheap treadmill to use at home, so I can have the added comfort of being close to a bathroom in case I need it. I haven't ran since this summer. I want to start running and hiking more again, hopefully next year! I definitely eat healthier when I'm training for something or just working out more. I've been eating pretty healthy. My one bad dietary habit I got into the past two years is cherry Coke from this place in town that uses the real cherry syrup (so good!), so I'm working on that one. Lol.

P.S. I picked up my very first Imuran script today. I am still waiting on my enzyme test results before I can take it though.