So sad, how do I keep from flaring again?

I can't believe I'm posting this on here as I'm not the type of person who finds it easy to be very open.  But my boyfriend of 6 1/2 years broke up with me last night and I feel so devastated. I had gotten to the point where I thought we'd be together forever and now I can't imagine that isn't the case.  He's been dealing with depression and I'm used to that, but he said he needed some time alone to figure out why he isn't happy.  I know its been hard on our relationship too having both of us dealing with our health the past year. 

I was up till 2:30am on the phone then spent the rest of the night crying and I am not sure if I've slept 2 hours since then.  My stomach is making horrible noises, I had to take a hycosamine pill just to calm down my intestines.  I'm not hungry and haven't been out of bed all day. 

I had been doing so well with my UC. I seemed to be able to taper the Prednisone, I'd been getting normal BMs and haven't had blood in forever, stomach was calming down and I was ready to go off the Prednisone next week.  Now I don't know what to do.  I can't imagine feeling better - physcially or emotionally - for a very long time. To top it off I have my period this week. Is there anything I can do to help not flaring up again? I know I should be eating and staying hydrated. It's just alot to deal with right now.

sorry - that sucks - sometimes life just kicks you in the balls and there's not a thing you can do about -

just don't let something out of your control sabotage the things that are - give yourself a little time to deal with the hurt, and then get back to fighting this crappy crap - you'll be fine -

that's one of the few good things about dealing with uc - you learn to be tough and not let the little bumps (or bigger ones) get the best of you -

and yes, eat good food and drink lots of water

How heartbreaking for you. Eventually, you'll put on a patch and move forward. It takes time to function in a different living situation.
Try not to take it as your fault.

Possibly you both will revisit your relationship...time away isn't a bad thing, but if issues haven't been resolved, it can take its toll heavily on both.

Regarding your boyfriend's depression...is he in therapy and on any treatment meds?

Hang tough....
q

6 years is pretty long time. How long is been suffering from depression? Is it severe or borderline? Is he taking medication or therapy? If he is not on meds, may be he can try http://psychcentral.com/depquiz.htm to check. I used this a while ago so not too sure how it will work now.

I would hold on to him on texts or something, would also offer help if he asks, too bad that he wants some time off though. It sucks but don't tax yourself for that.

Good Luck.

Hey beachgal, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

You will get through it all one way or the other, that I know. I used to feel like the world was crushing me completely anytime a situation like that happened. When your entire lifestyle is changed and you experience a loss it is very natural to feel numb, to not want to move, to cry, to not see a way around the situation.

I can tell you though, that through enough of these life situations I have come to a point where there's a little voice of experience that lets me know things will work out. The experiences have helped me learn that time does in fact heal, and that there is always room for a bright future if you allow it.

I have never been in a romantic relationship as long as you have been in, but I have dated someone with severe mental issues. I fell in love very quickly with the woman, and then experienced a roller coaster of a relationship based on her never stable mental state. Things got to a point where I went to see a therapist to ask him what I was really dealing with, and how I could best handle the situation. He told me that basically her childhood (extremely rough) had created a whole lot of problems that were very unlikely to go away. He told me that ultimately the choice to stay with her was mine, but that it would be very unhealthy for me.

The good thing with your situation is that the guy is admitting he has a problem and actively seeking therapy. I would tell you though, to take a look at what boundaries are healthy for you. Be very honest with yourself, and listen to your intuition. If you are absolutely sure that being in the relationship is healthy for you then give the guy some time and see what happens.

If it seems like the guy has been back and forth a lot though, about how he feels about the relationship, you'll most likely be better off away from the situation.

You're definitely not alone. Try to be very forgiving of yourself right now, and let yourself know that you love yourself. It sounds silly, but it's very healthy. Having a chronic illness has a way of beating us down to a point where we're unsure how to live and what to do (what to eat, how to handle stress, relationship choices etc...), and then we become hard on ourselves when things go badly. In all honesty we're just fighting a lifelong battle, and allowing ourselves the time to make mistakes and feel pain is necessary. Make sure you have time for rest and that you don't take on too much. Be proud of any healthy choices you can make for yourself, and most of all just give things time instead of trying to control them.

Best wishes.

I'm sorry. Take things day by day and please remember to take care of "you"!

soystud said...
"I doubt life has kicked mnbeachGAL in the "balls" considering well... "

it's called a "figure of speech "

men or women (most anyway) recognize the pain involved when a guy gets whacked in the nads -

I know. Just trying to make a joke and cheer people up :). This forum needs smiley faces I say!

I have to say thank you to everybody who's posted. It really helps to know people are there for you no matter what is said.  It also helps to get people's opinions and advice. Thanks so much for 'being there' for somebody even when you don't really know them! :) 

Take care of yourself. The Carnation Instant Breakfast can cause diarrhea if taken after a fast; it happened to a friend of mine w/o IBD. I think that Thoreau has given you excellent advice RE the situation with your boyfriend. Try not to panic thinking over those 6 yrs. Sometimes people who have opted for therapy just want or HAVE TO pursue it to the exclusion of personal relationships for a while-- so don't conclude that it's a definite failure on your part. Did he go on generic Welbutrin at any point? Reuters Health & Yahoo online had some articles a couple months ago stating that the FDA had found the generic was NOT equivalent to the brandname & issued warnings about it. It could be that his Rx contributed to the problem. In any case, wearing yourself down physically won't save the relationship. You have to eat properly, take your meds, and distract yourself with music or read yourself to sleep. / Old Hat (32 yrs with left-sided UC; presently in remission taking brandname Colazal)

Laughing reduces stress. Better to think positive than to take everything insanely seriously and horrible.

Take your mind of it beachgal. Dont starve yourself either you gotta eat whether you feel like it or not. Stay calm and all will be well.

Denial about what?

Im a beleiver of the fact that alot of conditions are linked to the mind. Staying positive keeps the stress low while grieving just increases it. Everyone is different though quincy and maybe some people reduce stress by facing the problem by grieving as you say just not me. I feel it is pointless but if it works for you then it works for you.

Beachgal if youre still a bit stressed stay in the prednisone a bit longer its only 2.5mg. Also remember to take your probiotics without a meal.

So I ate pretty safely yesterday, I had soup for lunch and eggs for dinner, and toast in between.  I didn't even have a BM last night. But now this morning of course I'm back to watery BM. My side also is starting to hurt a bit. No to mentino there are so many noises going on in my gut, I had that a few weeks ago but it had gone away. Is this the start of my flare coming back again, when I was SO close to it going away?  Or do I need to wait a few more days to see if my gut can get back to normal?  I sure don't want to have to go back up to a high does of Prednisone again, I was so close to getting off of it :(