Posted 3/10/2012 1:32 AM (GMT -5)
Max-
I can't imagine how challenging it must be to experience what you're currently going through. Having severe GERD is frightening enough, but to imagine taking the step of going through surgery and then still not getting relief is even more terrifying. I'm almost afraid to pursue it myself because I want to hold onto the hope it holds for me a little while longer, before letting it become a disappointing reality.
However, I really think you need to give your mind a break from this line of thinking. I can tell you are a lot like me - obsessive to the point of near insanity. Once you have latched onto something, it is very hard to let go and it starts to consume your whole life and focus. You probably think about your LPR 100+ times per day, and check your lips and mouth every time you pass a mirror. I know because I've done this more times than I can count, with GERD, tinnitus, and many other problems in my life, both real and imagined. It's stressful and exhausting. And obsessing over things has very rarely made things better for me.
It is all consuming and it doesn't help. So give yourself a break. The small trick I use is to set an appointment in my Google Calendar for 30 or 60 days out with reminders, etc. I explain the full problem in this reminder and tell myself that if I still perceive it to be such a large issue when the due date is up that I will immediately take action to address it (i.e. schedule a doctor's appointment, etc.). Then, as soon as I've scheduled it, I do my best to forget all about it. I throw myself into my work, or spend time with my family, or take up a new hobby, or do anything to take my mind off of it. And in the back of my mind, I trust that there is a ticking clock in the background that will eventually let me know if my problems are real or imagined.
And you know what? 90% of the time when I get to that date and the reminder email shows up in my inbox, I couldn't care less. The problem wasn't nearly as bad as my mind conflated it to be. And the other 10% of the time when it continues to be just as much of an issue, I take immediate action and try to find a way to fix it.
I have no doubt that what you're experiencing is 100% real. And I also have no doubt that your symptoms will continue to evolve over time and most likely get better, as the vast majority of people who have the NF surgery usually do and so many members here have told you.
However, you really have to give your mind and body the time it takes to rest and relieve itself. Stress alone can cause inflammation flareups in already sensitive areas, so it seems distinctly possible that the areas around your mouth and lips will always be somewhat sensitive to this. It's also possible that you may still feel pain and sensitivity for a long time to come even without irritation from acid reflux. It sucks, but at the very least you've taken the all important step of stopping the original source of the problem (the reflux), now it's just a matter of letting things heal.
Take care of yourself. I hope you can find some internal peace with the situation sooner rather than later.
Lucas